In trying to resolve an issue, I hurt a friend and friend hurt me. What should I do?

“I unintentionally hurt him. I’m sorry for hurting him but I don’t think I’m wrong ”
Start by saying that to your friend, and adding that you can work things out, that is what friends do.
Let your friend know that you value this friendship and thus wish to repair the differences.

It would help to know what the particular problem was that you brought up to him.

All you can do it defend what you said, state that you really feel that way, and apologize if his feelings were hurt by what you said.
Remember: Sometimes the truth hurts. And honesty is always the best policy. And some things are better left unsaid.
Other than that, let it rest and maybe this friend will come to you to talk more. Your friendship may be strengthened by this.

OP here. Heres a little background on the situation. My friend isn’t very good with his own emotions. He can be rude and usually he doesn’t mean it but it still hits hard. He has an air of not caring about anyone else’s problems. It started to make me question whether I was important in his eyes. I would try to care for him and his problems but it was always a gamble whether he would for mine. You just can’t 100% tell whether another person does or not. Occasionally he would tell me what he really feels and how he doesn’t want to lose me but these statements were usually overshadowed by the way he treated me. So I tried telling him this. In his eyes I was saying “you don’t care about me. You never cared and you never shown any care for my well being.” That was not what I meant. That hurt him. He referred to me as bad friend. Rather, not a friend at all. He insulted me in his anger and that hurt me. When I tried to say that I was trying my best to fix the situation he was too upset. He left. It was all he knew how to do. I don’t know how to fix the situation now. Many have told me that they don’t believe the friendship will end and that I shouldn’t end it. That me trying to fix the issue was a good thing.

Sometimes shit happens and there isn’t anything you can do about it
.
Some people learn.
Some people learn the hard way.
Some people don’t want to learn.
Some people will never learn.

Sometimes you just gotta let it go…

He sounds in some ways like my Ex. He probably needs a little time to process what you said now and I would give him some space. I would suggest sending him an email saying that you value his friendship and that when he is ready, you would like the opportunity to talk things over with him.

Wow, how much value is he to you as a friend? Everything you describe leads me to believe that you are doing all the work here. This sounds harsh, I know, but the “friend” that doesn’t know that he’s being rude or “hitting hard” doesn’t sound like much of a friend. If he thinks friendship should be effortless, it sounds like he doesn’t want to put the effort in himself and that requires you to do all the work. Does he feel bad that you are hurt by the exchange?

Sounds to me like you need to re-evaluate what he brings to the table, and how much you are willing to do to keep that in play.

Sounds like a spoilt brat who is high maintenance & not worth the time & effort.
Not good with emotions can just as readily be explained as immature & downright fucking rude.

I would probably walk away from, or “ghost” this person. Friendship should never have to be worrying whether the so called friend is going to be rude or uncaring to me on any particular day.

I’ve heard all the excuses: someone was having a bad day, someone was hormonal, someone was just tired.

Sometimes people are selfish and don’t even consider how their treatment affects other people, including people they say are their friends.

I would call this one a failed experiment and move on. You are correct That friendships take work to keep them healthy and good, but when the work becomes, or has always been, an uphill battle, that is a sign of dysfunction to me.

If he“s worth it, try again in a few days. If he’s still not up to it, at least you both know you tried. We all process hurt differently, so stay positive.

He sounds a little emotionally abusive to me. Why are you even friends with him?

Sometimes we hang onto friends we should not waste time with.
If you were shopping for food, or clothes, or a major appliance, would you spend your money on something which requires a lot of maintenance, and does relatively little for you?

I’m not suggesting people should choose friends by what favors can be done for them, but you should be seeing some type of return on your investments of time and effort.
Don’t keep friends by the measure of how much they need from you. Keep friends according to the equality of give and take.

"Hi. Sorry. Can we meet for tea?"