Those of you who are bisexual (rather than completely gay or straight) did you realize that you were bisexual as a child?

Many children recognize their gender and sexuality at a young age. Unfortunately many parents and adults don’t have this knowledge and think it’s impossible.

Does it really matter when they knew? Society tends to lean towards not knowing until you are older and this is what children are taught. Society isn’t always right.

Most of the information you included in your details is not important. Vegan, Christian, good person has nothing to do with gender and sexuality. I’m wondering why you included this. It reeks of how out of touch you are. That’s okay, it’s only my observation and I’m here to help.

I don’t mean this to be snappy, or blunt, but why wouldn’t your friend just ask her daughter (when they’re having a serious/meaningful conversation one day)?
Since they’re all in the know, and being supportive (of it), I think that is a perfectly normal thing to do.

@Stache, the reason I included it, is because her parents are worried that her new girlfriend does not share these same passions, and might be headed for another breakup.

The guy that cheated on her, most recently was a vegan, and a Christian, yet he turned out to be a creep. I think my friend’s daughter is possibly experimenting, by choosing something completely different, in the thought that she is less likely to get burned by someone completely different than the cheating boyfriend.

@rebbel My friend may have asked her daughter. I’m asking for my own knowledge. I’d like to hear from our bisexual Jellies, if they knew they were bisexual as children.

I’ve also heard of folks in their teenage years, experimenting with bisexuality, but then deciding they are straight.

@Kardamom Yeah, pardon me, I later realized that was more your question, rather than your friend’s.
I only answered your last paragraph.
My apologies.

This is a very interesting question and I don’t think it shows how “out of touch” you are. It makes me ask myself if I knew I was straight from childhood. Well, we used to sing song like, “Dutchess and Rebbel sittin’ in a tree. K I S S I N G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Mikey in a baby carriage.”
A boy and I kissed when I was in 3rd grade, in his bathroom. Didn’t mean a thing, and we were still best buddies after that.
My friends and I would describe our “perfect husbands” to each other in 1st and 2nd grade.
Did all of that mean anything? Doesn’t really seem like it, because none of it had anything to do with sexual attraction. Sexual attraction didn’t start until middle school.

@Kardamom Many monosexual (straight or gay) people do use bisexuality as a “stepping stone”. In some cases, it’s experimental, in other cases it’s something they say to “soften the blow” of coming out as gay (even without any experimentation). Telling someone you’re bisexual still leaves open the possibility of a “normal” married life, etc. So I will admit that when teenagers say they’re bisexual, I’m sometimes a bit skeptical, just because of the experimental/“stepping stone” possibility. But that’s only because people who are not actually bisexual are using the label. For people who are bisexual (i.e. people who continue to identify as bisexual into their adulthood), I’ve heard from them that they do know at a young age, the same way most straight and gay people know. I don’t think there is any difference.

When my granddaughter was 13 she was going around telling people she was gay. She just wanted to get a rise out of folks. He mom didn’t care, I didn’t care, her dad and step mom didn’t care. My ex got very, VERY upset though.
She’s not gay and my ex is still an asshat.

I have a lot of gay friends and co-workers. I live directly adjacent to probably the biggest, or second biggest gay community in the country. I’m not out of touch by any stretch of the imagination.

The main reason I asked this question is because my friend’s daughter is somewhat naive to the ways of the world, despite her wonderful education. She was somewhat sheltered, and very studious, and I think she is doing her experimentation with things a little later than your average young person. That is why I added the details, that at least one person found irrelevant.

I don’t think my details are irrelevant, because I am referring to a specific person, and these are the details of her life. Not just her sexuality.

My friend’s daughter has experimented with being a vegetarian, then eating mostly meat, starting out ad a non-practicing Catholic, and then becoming a devout Catholic when she went to college, at a Carholic college. She had a nice boyfriend in High School, then no boyfriend until her Junior year of college which ended badly, then no boyfriend, then a boyfriend/fiancee when she was teaching English abroad, and this dude devastated her.

Part of my reason for asking this question is that I think my friend’s daughter may still be experimenting with life choices, rather than being bisexual, although if she is bisexual, everyone is 100% OK with that, like I said.

I am thinking that the young woman, with whom she is currently involved with (who identifies as gay, not bisexual) is the polar opposite of everything she is familiar with, and deems important. Maybe to try something that is the opposite of everything that she got burned by.

I’m concerned for her, although I am not I involved in her life, except through her mother, who is my dear friend.

I am concerned that she will end up experiencing some more heartache being with someone who is not a devout Christian (because her faith is extremely important to her) and someone who is not a vegan/vegetarian (because that is extremely important to her).

I’m also concerned that she is no longer living in our LGBTQ friendly area. Considering the anti-gay rhetoric by certain preachers over the last few days regarding Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg’s sexuality.

Your main question: ”Those of you who are bisexual (rather than completely gay or straight) did you realize that you were bisexual as a child?” would seem to be entirely different from your details, and subsequent posts, which seem to be about a relationship having little or nothing to do with the sex of the people involved.
So what is your Q? Relationship or specific sexuality? Maybe two questions would be more appropriate?

And whether or not you’re “out of touch” has really nothing to do with proximity. I know a bunch of people who have lived in and around San Francisco for decades who still are either disgusted and repelled by non cis het people or simply don’t understand how “that could happen”.

Well, @Kardamom, she’s young and really experimenting. She’ll settle down in the next 10 years or so! Does she seem happy now, though?
Your question has my interest piqued though. How could a child know what their sexual orientation is before puberty? I didn’t feel sexually drawn to anyone before then, as far as I can remember.

@Dutchess_III Children can have attractions before puberty but they question it because society tells them otherwise. Girl/boy, penis/vagina, blah blah blah.

I know you can feel attracted to others. I knew a cute boy when I saw one and I developed minor crushes here and there, but there was no sexual element to it. My best friend in 1st and 2nd grades was a boy named Chris. We lived at each other’s houses. However, once I, and everyone around me, hit puberty, there was no such thing as platonic friendship any more. I could have been just friends with a few guys, but invariably, sooner or later, they’d make a pass at me and ruin it.

I have a lot to say about this. I’ll come back tonight. (I’m bi in case you don’t recall.)

Of course I do. And I am very interested in hearing what you have to say. Thanks @tinyfaery.

Sorry, I have been so busy. A few points.

I don’t believe in the concept of experimenting in romantic relationships. One assumes that in a romantic relationship there is a degree of sexual attraction. One is either attracted to the opposite sex, the same sex, or both. You can’t fake it. Sure, some people take longer for sexual feelings to develop, but one has to have the spark of attraction to even begin. From what I have gathered in the thread, you think that this woman is just looking for something totally different. If there is no sex involved, aren’t these 2 people just good friends? If there is more than friendship and the relationship has a sexual component, then this woman is attracted to the same sex to some degree. There is no reason to think that she is just “experimenting” with same sex attraction.

As far as knowing when one is attracted to the same, opposite, or both sexes, it is absolutely different for everyone. It wasn’t until I looked back on my life that I realized that I began crushing on boys and girls at the same time. I didn’t have a same sex, sexual experience until I was 20. I always thought there were just certain girls that I liked more than others. There were always girls who I wanted to be with all the time, who I was jealous of, who I wanted to buy gifts and be around for when they were down or having problems, more so than any other female friends I had. Society let me know that I had crushes on boys, but I had no framework to base what I was feeling for girls on. It wasn’t until I was a teenager and gay became more well known to me that I realized I wanted to kiss girls too. When I finally was able to, I just knew that everything I had felt when I was younger was definitely about same sex physical and romantic attraction. I was not experimenting when I kissed my first girl, it was the culmination of years of confusion and ignorance.

Next, you are assuming that religion is important to her. People grow and change. Maybe in her travels or her path in life she has come to believe other things. Not even her family can assume what she feels about something like religion. So many people have to please their families and don’t feel comfortable being who they really are around them, same with her veganism. I became a vegan more that 4 years ago and my wife is still a meat eater. I don’t like it, but we have managed to come to an agreement about our food choices. Everyone is different. I see no connection between who this woman appears to be and who she truly is when it comes to religion and veganism.

Finally, gay people live all over this country. She’ll be fine and if she not, hopefully she will have people who support her.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Thank you @tinyfaery. Could you parse your answer to apply to your feelings towards boys and girls up until the age of 10 or so? From what I remember, I was just as likely to have boys as friends as I was to have girls as friends. I don’t think I had any sexual feelings then, just Fairytale romantic feelings.

^no need to parse. Your answer is there in the middle.