What is your opinion on "gay"?

Gay = Happy! :D

< < is gay for Fluther.

Full of joy and happiness

Yes, really really happy….life of the party! Someone I’d like to party with ;-)

It’s fine to do whatever you want as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. The reason that people are offended by things that aren’t hurting anyone is because children will inherit their prejudices from their parents. You might even go one step further and say that parents brainwash their children to be prejudice, sexist, homophobic, etc.

It’s disgusting how bigots churn out little bigots. There are always a few more every generation who have the strength to tell their parents how backwards the stupid old school hate is.

As a heterosexual male, I could care less what you do in front of me. If couples hold hands, I don’t care no matter what kinda of sexual partner they choose to be with (excluding children and animals). But I do think it’s tacky for ANY couple to make out in public (heteros or otherwise). I don’t think it’s ethically or morally wrong. I just think it’s tacky.

That a lot of people are unsure of their own sexuality or individuality, and are fearful of others who are in any way “different” from them.

These people are wrong.

< < might just puke if he hears another explanation that people who dislike <something> might turn out to actually be <something> themselves.

I hate okra. Might I be an okra, then?

-

I still like you’re frickin’ awesome, @Marina.

@Marina, You couldn’t be more right. In addition to the reasons I stated before, some people feel a ‘gay’ sexual tendency that scares them so much that they go the total opposite way and become painfully homophobic. Everything is a gay joke with them. They talk down about same sex couples.

As Marina says: These people are wrong. Some of them might even be okra.

People are afraid of their own sexual urges and take out their self-inflicted sexual repression on those that they personify those urges with.

@body, I was challenging the premise of the argument that when people fear something, it’s because it’s an attribute of who they are. I certainly was not defending gay bashing.

If you want to perpetuate that rationale, then you must secretly be a gay basher, since you hate gay bashing so much.

My daughter’s best friend is a dancer, and he is straight. It amazes us just how many people call him a fag and harass him because he dances. It is the football guys that seem to give him the worst time about it too. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that he is in a better position than they are, because he is surrounded by and dances with cute, scantily clad girls or maybe it does occur to them and that is why they feel threatened. He is learning to laugh about it now. He is a very handsome young guy too. I really don’t understand why they call him a fag and think they’re insulting him. What difference would it make to them if he really was gay?

Gay is okay!!!

I will be watching this thread….

why are you only watching lefteh?

The question is about why people get so “hurt” by seeing an openly homosexual couple in public. This question really is just far to big to try to pigeonhole into any given group. There is an enormous plethora of reasons why people end up being bigoted or spiteful or generally homophobic in the eyes of those around them.

True, it could be repressed sexual tension invoking an exaggeration in the opposite direction, but not necessarily. It could also be fear of something strange or different. People react strongly when acting out of fear. But then it could also be the result of parental, or religious (mis)guidance. People thus (mis)guided are often driven by an insanely potent sense of right and wrong, which, however ill advised, is the same sense of right and wrong that tells us that it’s not okay to steal.

Tantigirl also brings up another possible reason for strong and negative reactions. The (often untrue) association of male homosexuals with effeminate behavior runs counter to a traditional understanding of masculinity. When someone challenges that traditional understanding, people can feel threatened inwardly, leading to outward aggression toward what they perceive as the threat.

And yet all of these are still just a few of the many reasons people react with such violence and hatred toward same-sex couples. It only hurts the situation more to stereotype the aggressors. Understanding the aggression is likely the surest way of curbing it..

I have never understood how love between any two human beings of consenting age could be construed as harmful in any way. I have taken great pains to let my children know that it’s ok to love anyone, of any race/religion/sexuality so long as they treat each other well.

@rob I see your point. I did not mean to make a general statement that if people fear something, it is because they have tendencies to be like that (she said, spinning her web, archnophobe that she is).

I do, however, think that in the case of sexuality, which is a continuum, it can be an issue. I also think that there are a lot of societal pressures on men to “man up” that result in a fear of being labeled homosexual that can create homophobic thoughts and actions as a defense.

I also think that evan and tantigirl had excellent points, both of which I agree with. When I talked about fear. I was speaking of the very human, but not very evolved, fear of others “not like us.”

@robmandu, I love that you called me a closet gay basher because I must be by my own rational. I’ll be laughing all day about that one. + for you.

I know you are just trying to stir me up but I’ll bite.

The difference is that my stance comes from one of acceptance and intelligence. I know that people that are different from me don’t threaten my way of life. Other sexualities and other cultures do not intimidate me. If you love humanity, let them be human. Let them do what they want as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

What is your opinion on my being short? How about left handed? Atheist? Vegetarian? What do you think about my being a bibliophile, a rock climber, a pet owner?

People have no more right to judge me for my sexuality than they do to judge me for any of those other reasons.

To those who decry homosexuality, I say butt out and drop dead.

Everyone that posts in this thread is gay, that’s final.

People have the right to judge people, get over it.

@crunchaweezy I am not gay. You, however, (I judge from your post) to be close minded.

Sorry if it came over wrong, I don’t mind ones sexuality, it’s none of my business.

It’s just that for the ones that judge, why would you invade their rights? I’m not protecting anyone here, but let’s just be fair.

@Tanti: I’m queer, and I want to know who to avoid.

@crunch OK. I am afraid, however, I do not get how the rights of those who are prejudiced are being invaded?

The ones that are judging are using their freedom of speech.

First, freedom of speech is not an absolute right. It is regulated quite a bit. Also, hate speech is not protected speech.

Second, I see no movement to say they can’t say it, but if they say it, they have to accept the consequences of doing so.

I am very queer sometimes but hetero in matters of sexuality.
@Mattx- good question and well-stated.

Marina, what consequences? So now gay people are violent people?

As far as the speech issue….

I hate anti-gay bigotry. It personally hurts me and is an attack against the essence of me. It is a group of people telling me and others like me that we are lesser human beings. It hurts.

However…the First Amendment stands strong. If they want to wear t-shirts that say “God Hates Fags” and preach to us with their megaphones about how animalistic and unnatural gays are, they have every right to do so. They will, as Marina said, have to face the consequences of hate speech, but it is their right to express those feelings.

@crunch Certainly not. I meant derision from the enlightened and being labeled a troglodyte.

@lefteh, I hate people who hate, ha, just joking, the whole thing about people talking about how they hate people who hate, Well it just perpetuates hating don’t you think?. I am straight and don’t understand “gay” at all, however, some of my best friends are gay, I don’t “get” it, but I don’t get fascism either. I don’t get Taliban, Bush, O’bama, or Cheney. But I don’t hate any of these people, I don’t get bigots either, but we all have a good side to us. Now remember folks, Every person is different. different religions, colors, and life styles. So stop hating, stop hating the bigots, people who “hate people that do something” are the same people. bigots hate gays, gays hate bigots. Am I right here? Is this just the total wrong way to go about things? What happened to turn the other cheek?

As the guy from the government said, “The check is in the mail.”

I changed it, thanks, that was funny until I edited it. ha.

So you did. Now I have egg on my face.

Don’t worry, I am seriously laughing out loud on this end. I should have left it, it would almost be devaluation to what I said, to end a good point with an error like that.

Laughing is good. I no longer worry about much of anything.

Even gay people. :)

@Scrump: I am not defending the beliefs of the bigots. Just their right to say it.

As Evelyn Beatrice Hall described the beliefs of Voltaire:
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

Cool, thats a nice quote, it says a lot.

I am one, and I think we’re great. In general we like to emphasize the things we have in common with each other, and de-emphasize the differences. This is how we can be a family of different ages, races, religions, cultures, fetishes, etc., with little to no judging involved.

Sure some asshole has the right to put god hates fags on a t-shirt, but I have the right to tell him what I think about it, or to wear a shirt that says that jesus loves us all.

When my wife and I walk down the street, we are rarely recognized for the couple we are, but more for friends or sisters. Every once in a while, a sister will recognize us, and we’ll share the “I know you” glance. So I don’t see how someone can look at my wife and I and be frightened by what we are.

This is why being out is so important for the LGBT community. The more those with sexual prejudice encounter LGBTs in daily life, the more they can see that we are all the same, and nothing to be scared of.

I’d say the fundamental reason behind sexual prejudice is fear of the unknown—fear of the future, and where they personally might fit in if it changes so much. Traditions that held our beliefs and values are changing, and not everyone reacts well to change.

I don’t think it’s any of our concern who someone prefers sexually. I have gay relatives and friends—again I think the human sexual paradigm is quite varied—probably more than we in these here American Puritan ancestry would like to imagine, let alone acknowledge.

Gay..Straight.. Who cares? I appreciate the question but can’t believe people still care what others do in the privacy of their bedrooms, or out in public for that matter. There are sooo many other things to worry about! The environment, the war, the homeless, the poor, etc.

I’ll be over here in the corner, peeking around lefteh to watch, too…

MacBean, you can rent a DVD ;-)

An even stronger urge than homophobia in schools IMHO is the overwhelming desire to fit in—and consequently to annihilate anything that isn’t homogenous. Any “difference” is acutely rooted out and ridiculed, be it sexuality, race, intellect, clothing, disability, or interests.

…listening to Coldplay

I just want to add something here. There’s been a lot of discussion about the rights of people to express their opinion. Well I’d just like to point out that in EVERY situation there is always line that should not be crossed. Would you allow someone to walk around with a shirt that said “F*ck You N*****s!” ...Hell No!!! Of COURSE Not!! But hate speech is defined in the eyes of the beholders. What needs to be recognized in this discussion is that there is a fundamental rule when it comes to rights:

the individual has every right to exercise his or her rights, ONLY to the extent that such expression does not infringe upon another person’s ability to do the same

Understand the “other”, talk to the “other”, but don’t give them a loudspeaker.

~

ec

Hate speech, consequences, right to freedom of expression. Yes, yes, I agree. But to me, there is one difference. As far as I know, we don’t have marauding hordes of LGBT folks wearing “G-D HATES HETEROS!” tshirts beating straight people to bloody stumps, refusing them emergency medical attention, and killing them because of their preferences.
Lefteh is right on when he says ‘I want to know who to avoid’.

I’ll keep my personal opinion to myself but to answer your question as to why people feel that they are being hurt, well, we all know that it is against the religious beliefs of many. And religion is a major part of many people’s lives. Also, some people ( especially heterosexual men ) feel disgusted by the knowledge that some men prefer to date men as opposed to women. They don’t like the images that come to mind-as some have told me. They usually don’t feel as disgusted when they see lesbians but they tend to see them as sexual objects rather than women who should be taken seriously. The thing to keep in mind is that for every one person who feels as you do, there are many who completely disagree-although in this day of political correctness, they probably won’t openly say so. People are different. That much is clear.

@Sands

Please excuse me if this offends you, but I found this funny. ;p

@crunch: The same could be said (pictured?) about most heterosexual couple porn depictions vs. hetero real life.

@Evan:
You asked, Would you allow someone to walk around with a shirt that said “F*ck You N*****s!”

Yes, I would. Absolutely. I am very extreme on this issue. You have the right to express your opinions however you please, as long as, like you said, it does not interfere with another’s right to do as he or she pleases. Wearing a shirt that says “Fuck you niggers,” however heinous, does not impede the free speech of anyone else.

That is quite true lefteh, wearing a shirt that has that on it does not impede the free speech of anyone else, although it could be hazardous to your health!!!

I live in San Francisco and am grateful to live in a place where (almost) everyone is accepted. I recently visited a friend in Chicago who lives with her fiance who is also a woman. She told me about how awkward it was to try to rent an apartment as a couple and sign up for a “family membership” at the gym and be told “we don’t normally do this but we can’t say no.” After living here for several years you almost forget that it isn’t commonplace to see all types of couples. Another gay friend of mine recently told me about a great sign he saw at a gay marriage rally. It said, “Let us marry each other so we can stop marrying you.”

How true! I have known of multiple couples where one finally came out and it ruined a marriage/relationship. My ex’s mom is gay but didn’t come out until after having him. I’m glad she waited because he is a fabulous person : )

I support free love.
You have the right and freedom to love whoever you want. Gay, lesbian or straight.

I believe absolutely in free speech. I believe that bigots should have the right to broadcast their ignorance on their t-shirts. I don’t care what it says. Now if you were walking around my city with a shirt that said f**k the n*****s, that problem would take care of itself by the time you hit any street corner (but I will always support your right to wear any harebrained slogan you want).

I’m a lesbian myself.

oooh. nice.

This is one of the fundamental philosophical mistakes that I feel people make when it comes to free speech. We agree that rights only exist until they infringe on another’s rights.. let’s take that for the sake of argument. But the mistake is in categorizing types of rights in distinctly self-contained relationships. For instance – it is a fallacy to argue that free speech is acceptable only so long as it does not infringe upon another person’s right to free speech, and to exclude the effect that it might have on any number of other rights that a person might have.

Furthermore, even if we were to only deal with the effect that free expression has on another person’s own right to free expression, that racist shirt, or anything like it, would still be wrong:

The reason that hate speech is against the law is not simply because the government doesn’t like people who are bigots. It is rooted in the same fundamental principal limit to all rights: that they do not infringe upon another’s rights.

The defining characteristic of hate speech is that by its very nature it is meant to evoke fear in those who witness it; it is meant to make the objects of its hate feel degraded, worthless, less-than. And fear, more than any other human emotion, is silencing. Hate speech is designed to reduce another person’s mental capacity for public expression, and as such infringes, intrinsically, on the rights of those who witness it.

what?

NecroKing. http://i37.tinypic.com/n653ba.jpg

Hey Evan, who’s to say what’s right and wrong?

Interesting first pic, i’ll have fun with it.

Haha, you probably will.

I know I will.

Crunch!!!! you sick pig, well the second one!!!, but the first was acceptable. and Dark…..hmm, you seem familiar.

Hey you’re the guy who E-mailed me!!

Yes.

I have many friends that are gay.

brief threadjack

—

Here’s something fun… trying using the Comments area of this site for your interpersonal communication that doesn’t actually contribute to the gist of this discussion.

1. click on the person’s name you want to send a comment (a.k.a. private message, a.k.a. PM) to.
2. fill out the comment field.
3. select if you want the comment to be private or public
4. click the Comment! button

Seriously.

I’m glad you guys are happy to bump into each other. Really I am. But I don’t need to watch it happen.

Sorry I just found out about the “problem” here on fluther, I’ll keep in check, thanks for the tip Rob, Friends?

You know in my school there is a club for gay people.

It has seem that many have been biting their tongues lately. Last straw gives good points from delirium.

Only few people can say what needs to be said maturely and without prejudice.

I applaud Delirium for what others have been thinking.

[mod says]: cleaned up off topic chatter.

Thank you, Andrew. I have been having trouble holding my tongue. Glad that I wasn’t alone.

I believe sexual orientation is more a result of biochemistry than it is a personal choice. I’ve done research into it because I have my own hypothesis, and there have been studies that seem to show an excess of testosterone or estrogen (depending on gender) in the womb causes rats to later exhibit homosexual behaviors upon sexual maturation. I feel like homosexuality is a “milder” form of intersexuality, which also seems to be caused by the presence of an excess of sex hormone in utero.

In addition, the fact that there is a strong correlation between genetic ties and occurrence of homosexuality lends credence to the idea that orientation is biological. If a person is gay, the closer a second person is in genetic relation, the more likely they are to be gay (e.g. twins, who share a womb, are likely to share a sexual orientation).

Homosexuality exists in most species in nature, so it is not unusual. One could look at it in terms of an in-born population control.

AlenaD, I’ve read similar reports, and believe it is so…and I wish America could just get ‘over it’ or ‘just live and let live.’

Me, too!

I honestly don’t see what a person’s sexuality (in any shape or form) has to do with anyone else, and I think people who are bothered by the fact that some people in this world are gay, bi, transsexual, or lesbian probably have some sort of insecurities about their own sexuality that they need to sort out.

@MattxAmber, the way you phrased your question made it hard to understand. gay means gay, i.e. homosexual. “gay” means the slang term “gay”. “that’s gay… what a gay idea.” your question would have had a more readily understandable meaning if you had asked, “what’s your opinion on gays?”

I honestly don’t care who people want to date, gay or not. Everyone should be allowed to love whoever they want and not be ridiculed for it.

I think that if someone makes the decision it shouldn`t bother anyone else because if that person is truly happy with their decision then you should be to because it`s not up to you it is up to them and I get very angry when people call them “queers” you don`t need to say that because you don`t know how hard it must be for them to go through that just so they can be happy, I mean God they are only human and they just want to find happiness so people should just back off and get off their back.

@LouisianaGirl While I admire your open-minded stance, I caution you on the use of the word ‘decision’. It’s pretty well established that people don’t decide to be gay. They just are.

I’ll also point out that the word “queer” is no longer exclusively offensive. Fifty years ago this was the case; today, however, it has largely been reclaimed by the community as an umbrella term for those who do not fit into the heteronormative classification. I use queer as a substitute for LGBTQQIAIVWXYZ and its variations. It feels more inclusive to me, and it encapsulates the entire community.
That being said, I completely agree with what you said in your post regarded the use of queer. That is, when people use “queer” as a clearly derogative term. “Fucking queers!” etc.

@lefteh You crack me up!!! “LGBTQQIAIVWXYZ”
I use queer as a term of endearment. Heck, how many gay parades have been led by the chant, “We’re here! We’re queer! Get used to it!”

@LouisianaGirl I’m guessing you just don’t like when gays are being put down? It’s not so much what you say, it’s HOW you say it.

@augustlan yea my mama told me that if they`re going to be gay they are born that way.
@loser yes because there is 2 boys at my school who hang out with a lot of girls and their all like hes a queer and I`m just like shut up you`re only jealous because they get more female attention than you.

@LouisianaGirl Lol! You’re probably right!!!

I think the sexuality of others should not bother us. People just don’t see Two people of the same sex in a relationship very often so they miqht make fun of thinqs unusual. But as kids grow up they start to just accept it. Kids are such immatures sometimes. Thats how it was in my high school. Kids would always make up rumors. I never listened but its just not that biq deal to me because i don’t care about others sexuality. As long as the girls who lie girls dont bother me.

Gay means happy right?! Well if they are happy then who are we to judge that happiness?

Some people do not like other people to be happy.
Having a gay all time! WILMA!!!

Anyone who says ‘Wands out Harry’ is gay.

http://www.christopherlowell.com/

I think there human just like everyone else why should they be judged just because there different, my aunt is gay and i love her no matter what. Gay pride all the way ;)

I think they are contagious and scary.

C’MERE, ZEN. MY GHEY GERMS. LET ME SHARE THEM WITH YOU.

@MacBean Snuggles.

They are also common people. I cannot understand why there always people who don’t like gay and see them as mental ill or sb who want communicate with. Perhaps they just can’t handle this when they saw gay couples. I believe in all kinds of love. Who cares who are you fall in love with? Everyone is different! Just do what you want to do!