Can you give examples of cremation costs vs funeral costs?

I think you can do better, though it might require the expense of transporting the body some distance.

It’s too late now….and it’s not my call. But I’ll have to be the one to make sure our share gets paid and we’re already drowning here.

If you are that close to the edge, I can’t continue the thought, but I certainly hope there are enough of you to spread the load appropriately. Surely there must be others in the family doing relatively well. When my mom died, I assumed the expense of her funeral because I was doing well, and certainly didn’t have to stretch. My brother and sisters had their hands full financially, and it seemed only sensible.

Well split by 3 I guess.

Some states have a maximum that the funeral parlor can charge for each service. Also, the funeral parlor should break things down for you.

I know in NY state, the funeral parlor is required to show you the list of costs that the state has approved. For example, cost for cremation, cost for transporting the body, etc.

Rick’s brothers both have a copy of the list. They’ve said they’ll get one to Rick but they haven’t.

We had dad cremated on a budget…$700. That was about 15 years ago. Funerals can go WAY up. It all comes from the extras you want.

I will have all this shit figured out ahead of time. It will be the bare bones, cheapest shit you can imagine.
I don’t want my kids fighting over they want to do this or that for Mom….but I don’t think they would. They know that to really honor my memory they.need to get down and dirty.and negotiate like a tiger!

You had the crematory do a funeral service didn’t you…or you purchased a nice vase for the ashes??? I only paid $600 when my husband passed. They were pushing for a fancy funeral service & a really nice vase that jacked up the price to $4,000. I said thanks but no thanks. They put him in a cheap box & sent him home with me. I purchased a nice vase & had a memorial service at our home. I found it a lot less stressful & nobody was rushing us to do things on their time schedule. Eight months later Mom passed & dad gave her a nice funeral that cost $10,000 & there was a set protocol that we were expected to follow.

Market place had a documentary on funeral parlors overcharging and or persuading grieving people to buy into a service ( celebration of there life etc) when they do not have too.
One drives the costs to $10,000 while the other is a quarter of that cost.
Buyer beware.

I had 0 say. I think they are all a little freaked out that he was creamated. They’re used to paying respects by buying a BEAUTIFUL casket for the price of a good used car, looking at it for 30 minutes then burying it 6 feet under to never be seen again.
They just don’t get this cremation thing. I guess they equate spending lots of money = love and respect. And if you protest it means you didn’t love them very much.

here is a different link
https://dying.lovetoknow.com/burial-cremation/how-avoid-funeral-home-scams

Found the video investigation on costs that were not required but couple got scammed into it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ83Wh0V38k

My feeling, and I have shared it with my wife and family, is to be creamated. They can do whatever they like with the ashes…I don’t care. They can throw my ashes into the ocean, off a mountain or into a septic tank…it is all the same to me. They don’t need to get an urn unless they want to.
I have asked them to have a party to celebrate my step into the next adventure. They can talk about what a great guy I was, what a complete prick I was, whatever they like…except I want them to come up with at least one thing they enjoy in life to toast to.

I’m very uncomfortable at funerals. i’ve gotten t where I tell the family that I won’t be attending their service but do plan on taking time out of my day at home to remember their loved one & think about the good times that we had together.

My plan is to be cremated with NO service. I’ve told all my friends to not expect a formal service & that I’d prefer that they take a moment out of their day to remember the fun that we had. IF they want to gather at a local bar or someone’s home for a party, that will be fine with me. They are more than welcome to curse me IF that’s what makes them happy or they can share a funny moment or what a pain in the butt that I had been…it’s up to them!!!

Thank you for sharing @LadyMarissa. However every bit of this was out of my hands. I’ve been researching funeral costs in Kansas and somebody got ripped off. I just don’t know where or how. Or why. Unless it was some male posturing bullshit.

Jesus. I got a copy of the bill. Of the $5200, $3750 was for “Memorial Cremation Service.” What IS that?? It better not be the part where we cram us into a room at the church and people talk and sing….cause we could do that for nothing at a nice steak restaurant. That one really chaps me.

The urn was $280! If my kids want to keep my shit around they can get some nice vase at Goodwill or a garage sale!

There was a “Deluxe Memorial Package” for $125. Sounds like male posturing to me.

Flowers were $135. Cheese and Rice. My family knows I would come back to haunt them if they spent that much on FLOWERS. Get some cheap ass starter houseplants from some where to give away. Maybe give the store a sob story and they’ll donate them!

8 death certificates at $15 each for $120 total. Damn! Buy one and take a picture!

Clergy $100. For ONE HOUR. And he was a moron.

Organist $50. Hell. Bringa CD player and punch up Me and Bobby McGee.

Soloist $50….No. Janis for $0.

Obituary…. 291.00!!! Dayum. Let’s just keep it a secret.

Cemetary $300. Forget that. Lake or forest for $0.

Another obit in a smaller town, $50.

This is utter insanity. WHAT a rip off. I’m keeping a copy of this to review with my kids. The only thing I can see as necessary is the cremation and I don’t see it listed….is it part of that $3700? Surely it doesn’t cost that much…?

I find it interesting that NONE of your dad’s heirs were aware of these things going in. The ripoff aspects of the funeral industry are at the forefront in my mind at the mention of anyone who dies. And let me tell you, the scalping you and yours received was downright merciful, and you got off light. Take the lesson to heart. And I sincerely hope that for you and Rick this will be an indelible lesson around “fool me once” Some 15 years ago I looked into this “deal”. I can drop dead anywhere in the world, and my remains will be retrieved and cremated with all required paperwork, fees and regulations covered. If I die within 500 miles of here, my corpse will be burned here for anyone interested to watch at no expense including the cardboard coffin. 2 copies of the death certificate and 2 copies of the coroner’s findings (if any) are to be returned to my heirs along with my ashes to be inserted into the pretty ceramic vacuum sealed urn that accompanied my receipt. The total was $1400 at the time. When I checked a year ago the price was at $1800, but it’s still a good deal you can buy with a credit card!

For you & Rick, you might want to check with a local crematorium & see if you can set it up now. I’ve already set mine up & I got current prices. It’s prepaid & once I die, my brother simply calls them to pick up my body, do the cremation, put me in the cheap box & hand me over to my brother to distribute at his discretion.

I’ve instructed my friends to do a private remembrance. They can do it alone or as a reason to have a party. I just don’t want everyone sitting around crying & carrying on. Once I’m gone, I want them to remember the good, the bad, & the ugly…Just allow me to go in peace!!!

The obit is one of few opportunities left for newspapers to make money, and they CERTAINLY take advantage of it. The hits from the ceremonial fees are unavoidable, but I’ve warned the wife that I will come back to visit her on the mere hint of my money being thrown away. The only exception allowed is a banquet/party befitting my culinary extravagances—with particular emphasis on the desserts. Descriptions of that event should make your local newspapers.

@LadyMarissa….please neither Rick nor I were consulted. His older brother has power of attorney. It’s done. It’s over.
I took a picture of the bill and sent it to my kids. Told them we need to talk about this now before they have to deal with it. The girls absolutely flipped OUT at the charges! They won’t get sucked in. They could negotiate the teeth right out of a chicken, and enjoy every minute of it. Mama raised em right.
As I said, with this family.I’m sure more money spent means you loved them more.

Why are the hits from ceremonial fees unavoidable @stanleybmanly? Leave the church clean out of it. Have a BYOB party instead. The only things I think are unavoidable are cremation costs and a death certificate.

Oh…sorry Marissa. You were talking about the cost for OUR deaths…well that is a good idea. Maybe I can even pay for it now….thanks for the idea.

The ceremony is certainly avoidable. But if the decision is made to have the ceremony $50 is certainly reasonable for an organist. I assume Rick’s dad was not a member of the congregation.

You can probably buy an urn on Amazon or Costco.com (most things on the Costco.com site you don’t have to be a member to purchase. A lot of people are not aware of that). The funeral parlor is counting on your not wanting to buy anything anywhere other than with them, so they can jack up the prices They take advantage of the fact that the family is grieving and doesn’t want to be inconvenienced at this terrible time.

That’s what I told Rick. They prey on the grief. Sick mofos.

@stanleybmanly the issue was not the $50 for the organist (which I won’t have for my memorial cookout at the lake.) The issue was the almost FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS TO BORROW A ROOM AT THE MORTUARY FOR AN HOUR!!! How fucking ridiculous. And they do that under the guise of “This is what God wants from you. Obey or go to hell.” Sick. The whole thing is just sick.

I’d get the list of the state mandated expenses that your family has obtained and look at it.

In the end Dutch, you were roped in to a situation over which you and your Rick were permitted no discretion. The funeral business thrives on the fact that people generally don’t plan on dying. But I don’t think you have a prayer of legally lowering $5000 in burial expenses after the fact. The option of sticking whichever brother acquired the responsibility for those decisions is always there, but you and Rick are honorable people, and it’s difficult (as the industry is fully aware) to fault those we care about for making inopportune decisions in time of grief.

[Reacted]

The bitch is they got ripped off at their Mom’s funeral in 02, and Dad was ADAMANT that we don’t let them rip us off when his time comes….what happened is exactly what he did not want.

The upside is that his irritation probably cut the ripoff by half!

It did. But it was still $4000 more than it should have been.

Console yourself with the knowledge that you won’t be burned again (no pun intended).

Haha!! Yeah. This is something I have never really thought about. It just didn’t occur to me that any human could use profound grief as a means to rip people off. It makes me sick, honestly.