How have you changed?

I have gained more weight than I ever thought,partly due to my job extremely exhausting but not physical demanding.

I’m more adventurous than when I was younger.

I’m less willing to be uncomfortable. That goes for work, temperature, staying in hotels, dealing with unpleasant people, everything.

I enjoy time alone. When I was younger I didn’t like being alone. I couldn’t imagine living alone. The change happened in my 40’s.

I appreciate natural scenery, previously I took it for granted. I don’t remember what vacation it was that I looked out on the vista and it literally took my breath away. That was the start of me understanding how much my natural surroundings now affected me.

I’m willing to spend money more freely, but I’m more nervous about losing money. That probably sounds like it doesn’t make sense.

I’m able to compartmentalize now. If something is upsetting me, I can set it aside for a few hours to enjoy something unrelated that I want to partake in.

My memory is crappy now. I think because I don’t give a damn about a lot of things, so they don’t stick in my head.

I used to think the world was fairly black and white, and now I feel everything is grey. What started this transformation was a communications class in college. The main thing I learned in that class is how easily people can miscommunicate. Then I started to realize how many POV’s there can be on one issue, and that two people who disagree can both be right.

I used to be much more angry and more grudge oriented. Now, I still have a bit of a temper, but almost never hold on to it for any length of time. I learned this from my high school boyfriend.

To give my time to friends who are hurting. I went through a very bad time in my senior year of college, and my friends were there checking on me, visiting, calling, listening, and sharing painful situations they had been through. I’m very grateful for everything they did. I hope I’ve been able to do that for my friends.

Be loving to those I love. I grew up in a house with a lot of screaming, and not very much positive words (in some ways, but positive in others) and in college a friend told me she doesn’t understand people who put down the people they love. It made an impression on me.

I’m paranoid about dying. Not of death, but that I will die anytime soon or have a major heart or stroke event. Started about 2–3 years ago in my late 40’s.

I started to answer this question but realized it is too depressing to go into.

I used to be very trusting but after being burned by some family members and close friends over the past few years I’ve made my circle very small. It took me time to get over the pain but I’ve finally let go. Due to this I am much happier. I am less trusting but it protects me.

I also didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I moved to a beautiful city full of amenities. I thought I liked small town life but it made me miserable. I was miserable for years. I realize the correlation of me being unhappy and losing people in my life who I felt were important. I learned to better appreciate those who never left my circle.

Life is still hard but it’s easier to cope when you are happy.

I used to have a problem with gay men. Then I got to know some of them, and I realized what a jerk I was. I’d like to blame it on growing up in the South, and male culture here, but I should have known better. The fault is ultimately mine alone.

I was liberal when young (teens and twenty’s). But turned conservative after I bought a couple houses and started investing in the stock market.

RE : RedDeerGuy1

Birthday today July 28,2019.
One year older.

I used to be a closeted gay man married to a woman who coped by drinking alcoholically. I’m now proudly out and divorced and sober for a long time.

The other event that impacted me greatly was receiving a diagnosis of a serious mental illness.

Every situation in life changes one consciously or unconsciously. At the moment I am going through life more consciously. I have become much more confident over time. Have developed much more self-esteem & have just come much further in understanding myself.I have become IMPORTANT myself.

In the old days party and showtime were the order of the day, today I prefer a book. I just want to know more about LIFE.
This because of practicing MEDITATION, MANIFESTATION & Yoga for more than 5 years…...

I’m more of an alone type than I ever was.
In the stories, I write love never works out for the hero.