Is it a good idea to own a luxury car when you have no home?

My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer which had already spread to her stomach, intestines, and pancreas. On top of MS, it meant she ended up frail and in a wheelchair, and my father—who did consultancy work—was forced to care for her full time because his income meant he didn’t qualify for nursing care.

They had to spend their retirement funds, then sell off their furniture, and finally had to walk away from their mortgage. They kept their expensive car through all of this because my mother needed some way to get to her medical appointments. They even ended up pawning their wedding rings before they were forced to give up their car because they had absolutely nothing left.

(I ended up supporting them for two years on my credit cards so they wouldn’t starve while they learned how to be poor.)

A car means independence. Everything becomes much, much more difficult without a car because our ugly consumer culture has been built entirely around the car now. If you’re facing the added challenge of freshly-experienced destitution and/or health challenges (which is often the source of destitution), a vehicle can mean the difference between keeping your options open and being locked into a degrading cycle of impoverishment accompanied by hat-in-hand pleading with bureaucratic gatekeepers for the basic necessities.

What if they bought the car well before the moved in with their children? And why did they have to move in with their children? This is not a cut and dry question.

This is a generalisation if ever I read one.

The car was just bought if it is really his not even a month ago.He’s. been living with his daughter over a year.

It’s none of your business.

You need the whole story. I had three Porsches in storage when my husband and I were living with his parents for 5 months.

You said the parents are moving in with their children. Why is the parent moving in? Are they poor? Are they helping with grandchildren? Does the family just want to be together? Are they spending their last dime on the car?

You need all the information.

What make you think I don’t have the whole story? It’s someone I am very close to. No they lost their place they have to be there they have no where to go. I would think so if they can’t afford to live on their own. No they love their family but they moved in with daughter , boyfriend and grandchild. They’re not trying to be that close.

Your details overgeneralize an entire social grouping, rather unfairly, I think.

@honeybun35 You didn’t give us the details, so we don’t know the details you have.

They lost their place due to not being able to afford it. Did they lose their job?

Most likely i’m in agreement with you if they literally are down to close to nothing in their savings, but there still could be unknowns. Previous bad decisions doesn’t mean the best idea is to get rid of the car. They might own it outright, or they might be upside down in it.

How old are the parents?

Who’s parents? The person in subject is almost 50.Both parents are deceased.The daughter is 29.

You wrote:

Middle age people who move in with their children and have no job. They are the ones driving in most expensive cars.

Oh! The daughter is 29! I thought she was more like seven!

In that case, the parents ought to move back in with the daughter and her boyfriend. But if she is 29, then they are adults.

I don’t get it. I read the original post as the parents have no jobs and moved in with their adult daughter.

Wait a minute !!! Did this happen back in 1997? How old was the daughter in 1997?

Is this part of a story line for a mystery novel? ? ?

There is a problem in this country with vehicles. It’s a cultural problem. People believe their vehicles are an extension of their personality. They are not. It does not take a $50K car to get from point A—>B. Good, safe and dependable vehicles can be had for a few thousand dollars. I have one in my driveway, the paint may be peeling off but that sucker is mechanically perfect. If it blows up I have another right there ready to go while I put the other one back together and I’m still less than a tenth of what most people have in their “transportation.” Just takes a call to insurance and a print out to get the 2nd vehicle road legal. If I owned a luxury car and ran into financial trouble it is without a doubt the very first thing on the chopping block. Problem with that for most people with luxury cars is they financed them and are upside down on the loan. It’s irresponsibility to the Nth degree. I get having nice things is…. nice but we (Americans) spend 10X what we need to on transportation.

Now that my little rant is over, thanks for reading it…

@honeybun35 Um, honey you need to clarify some details here including what’s going on with you. Most of us thing you’re about 14, no offense so don’t shoot the messenger.

Yeah. Ithought the daughter and boyfriend were little kids. But that was 22 years ago.

Although I agree with a lot that was said here, I also believe that it’s no one’s business except for the owner of the car and the daughter. There’s a lot of info not being shared on the who, what, why and I don’t think any of us have enough knowledge in order to pass judgement. The owner must have received a bank loan, so that’s between the owner and the bank. The daughter and boyfriend have allowed them to move in so it must not bother them. I have enough things going on in my life to not worry about this one

You answered though.you don’t have to be worried.Why are you a member of a message board then? I can ask anything that I want on here. It’s your choice to answer.If I day to every question it’s not my business than I don’t need a profile. Maybe that’s my way just to ask a question on here.Don’t take it so personal.

It’s also possible they’re leasing the car. People I work with lease beautiful cars for only a few hundred a month. So they give the impression of owning a fancy car but in reality, leasing is just renting.

It’s very hard to speculate about other people’s financial situation, unless we know everything, and very few people or no people will know everything about others’ financials. You know what you see, you know what they tell you (and people will embellish to make themselves out to seem more rich or more poor than they really are), and you know what others gossip about. Therefore, try not to waste time speculating about other people’s financial situations. That’s their business. Unless it’s your boss or your spouse or your child, don’t bother.

honey, you act like a 2 year old who isn’t getting their way. My 12 y/o daughter asks more mature questions than you do. When I saw that you were asking something that wasn’t related to your crush that I really wanted to participate. Then I get here only to find that you want an answer without providing any of the actual details. With the info provided, I think you need to mind your own business as it is their business, not yours

Let me tell you something.I can ask whatever question I want on this message board. Why do it even effect you? You don’t even know who I am talking about so it shouldn’t even be a bother. Stop taking this so personal.So you thought I asked a question that had nothing to do with my friends with benefit. That’s on you what question you choose to answer of mine I don’t care if you answer them or not. I will ask whatever I want.If you feel it’ don’t concern me then don’t answer. It’s my question whether I made the story up or if it’s an actual situation. See you don’t even know. I just asked a question.What business is it of yours what question I ask?

@honeybun35 Yes, of course you can ask what you want. And we can answer as we want. Goes both ways.

Exactly, so why are you tripping over my own question.

@honeybun35 Exactly, so why are you tripping over your own question ?

Well, then, let me just answer your Q as written.
Sure! Why the hell not?

@honeybun35: You definitely can ask any question you want on Fluther, However, keep in mind that you may not always like the responses you get, and getting hostile with the people who answer them will not help you. It won’t help you as far as getting people to answer future questions and it won’t help you as far as getting people to feel like helping you at all.

If you are just asking for the sake of asking, like if you’re writing a book, you should specify that each time the question is just hypothetical.

If you are asking questions and want real answers, it helps to provide details when you ask the question, so that people can give an informed answer, based on your details. Different details may make the answer different.

That is so true what you said but some people instead of answering the question they give non sense. I ignore that. They are totally off of the subject. They see one story and try to combined them together. I don’t mean the same topic neither. They take something I asked that was in the health field and connected to the relationship status. How is that helping. So I have to take action on here. They get real stupid with the answers.

You’re not ignor8ng them, though, you are engag8ng and keeping it going.

I want to answer the question, but we don’t have enough information, and what we do know is confusing, and misleading.

What exactly is wrong with you @honeybun35? You seem unable to ask a question, and then to be able to receive or understand the answers. You seem to want us to give you a specific answer that satisfies you, even though the real answer(s) are not palatable to you. And now, you are asking questions that do not even follow Fluther’s guidelines for clarity. That is why I am asking you, in all sincerity, what is wrong with you?

If you would like to ask a different question about why you seem so scattered, and obsessed, and confused, we could probably steer you to be able to get some help. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m calling it like I see it. This is not my first Fluther rodeo.