Can you give me advice for my situation on dating/relationships?

Asked by ScubaSteve2021 (10

) September 24th, 2019

Hi there everyone,

Currently I am 28 (soon to be 29) and have been finding myself a lot lately attracting or being attracted to women either younger then me or older. Typically like 7–10 years or more. At first I thought it was coincidence but it is starting feel like a pattern.

I would like to add I DO NOT date anyone under 18, automatic no go for me. That being said -

I did life a “little backwards” came from rough childhood, worked during high school and after graduating. I never did any college just worked full time. Then I did 6 years in military.

I decided to use GI bill and pursue a bachelors degree. Full time student and working part time. At this point in my life I would like to find a steady girlfriend that ideally would build into long-term relationship, maybe even marriage and all that jazz.

For example, fall quarter just started and this one girl sat chair over from me. Long story short, got to talking and I showed her around campus (she transferred, new to campus) I figure she is like 20–25 as seems mature and down to earth. But come to find out she is 18. We are still talking and exchange numbers but I just feel like is it a big age gap.

Should I be concerned? Should I not care and just go with it and whatever happens?

I guess my question boils down to how should I approach relationships with my age gap?

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10 Answers

Two points:

- when you are 50 and she is 42, the age difference won’t matter.

- don’t get too hung up on age. The questions are (a) is she mature, mentally, or is she still playing teenager, and (b) regardless of age, are you symaptico in terms of interests, personalities, and so on. Basically are you on the same wavelength.

Some 18-year olds (heck, for that matter, some 25-year-olds) are basically overgrown teens that don’t understand that they’re adults. If she is one like that, then keep away. But if she’s meeting you on a mental level, things may be OK.

I’d summarize like this.

An 8–10 year age difference is more likely to cause problems than a 2–4 year age difference. But there are exceptions to every rule.

elbanditoroso (33546

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@elbanditoroso Those are excellent points. I really did believe she was older because she is done with her associates and is doing same bachelors track I am (network admin/security IT). We literally have same classes this quarter I kid you not, so she suggested we be study buddies.

Off topic: is that an avatar of an RJ45?

ScubaSteve2021 (10

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Go for it, she’s legal and a grown woman. Good luck!!

KNOWITALL (29877

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@ScubaSteve2021 – yes

elbanditoroso (33546

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Ask her out.You might not like her.Problem solved!:)
If an age difference bothered me, I probably wouldn’t bother with it.

lucillelucillelucille (34325

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@lucillelucillelucille That is a good point! I mean honestly it doesn’t bother me all that much. I guess I just felt a little strange that I keep finding myself in these age gaps and more wondering as to why, ya know?

ScubaSteve2021 (10

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You met her at school so that explains that age gap.
Now if you want to rule out older women, avoid nursing homes.
That is sound advice you can take to the bank! Maybe you should date a bank teller? :)

lucillelucillelucille (34325

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Young women often work in nursing homes. Just sayin’

snowberry (27897

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That is true…

lucillelucillelucille (34325

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Where you are in your lives is more important than years. If both of you are just starting college and neither of you has been married or had children then you might be a good fit. Go ahead and try her on and see.

Sagacious (3820

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