NSFW, People talk about bad sex, just what is bad sex?

Someone didn’t have an orgasm. Lots of work. Lots of energy spent and…..nothing.

@Dutchess_lll
“someone” or both? Does good sex have to involve orgasms?

Bad sex happens, I feel, when expectations are set.
The act of making love in itself is good (enough).
The pressure of having to end somewhere, or reach a goal, can be off-putting, or work ‘paralyzing’.
Let it go, and sex is nice.

When my balls slapping off her arse cause her to fart, puts me right off my stroke.

That feeling of being unfulfilled at the end. You can have a raging orgasm & still have that empty feeling once it’s over!!! @SQUEEKY2 Since you have to ask, I’m assuming that you & Mrs Squeeks are the perfect couple for each other & you will NEVER experience the answer to your Q!!!

One of the participants isn’t really involved or invested.

When your partner rolls over and says, ”Now can I go to sleep!”

Three words. What you doin?

According to a friend that I set up with another friend, it’s when your wife picks up the remote & starts changing channels in the middle of the greatest lovemaking session known to mankind.
That qualifies. :D

Haha, no foreplay?

@KNOWITALL – Apparently not enough to just record that episode of this to watch at a later date: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thDYZ3tzUN8

Not sure but I think it would have something to do with hygiene or stubble

Women can’t really be “bad,” at sex. Some just lay there, but as long as I have access, when I need it, that’s good enough.

Some give little, to no effort. That’s “bad sex.”

I assume that men, are guilty of just getting off, and falling asleep. But for those of us who try to make it pleasurable, we don’t get enough credit. I try to ensure that my partner cums, at least once, in every situation. Often, that involves oral, or manual effort.

Yes. Some people are sexually incompatible. That results in one of the partners, being unsatisfied, or feeling used.
But that is part of the people’s relationship.

@josie – Thanks for making me think of that detail! They both were well groomed people (and I mean that in the fully dressed kind of way) and had a beautiful home while married -neat & clean
I have my own theories about him and they make me want to watch videos.
Videos on how rope is made, that is.

^Rope?

@MrGrimm888 -He is not the most exciting person that I’ve ever met.

Well, I got pretty excited watching that rope intertwine, and get pulled, and twisted!

@rebbel – Yeah, employees at that factory never get anything done.

Bad sex is lopsided; one person is getting more out of it than the other. That’s at least been my experience.

@lucillelucillelucille. I am still curious, about the rope thing. Is is just rope?

@MrGrimm888 -What do you mean? (maybe you didn’t see my posts to the others?)
If one wants to watch videos on how rope is made, somethin’ ain’t right in paradise.

I guess, I didn’t. I just watched it, but don’t understand the meaning of it, in this context. I have to assume you were being tied up?

@MrGrimm888 – Lol! I am guilty of allowing my mind to be tied up with thoughts of what he’d be like in bed.
It only lasted a minute so things worked out.
As for my answer, she was so bored she would rather watch tv and proceeded to click through the channels while in the middle of “it”-meaning a video on how rope is made would be more exciting
“Sometimes a rope is just a rope”-Freud said that.

^Ok….I heard something about making guy’s…. cum, in “ropes,” so I was curious if that what it was about… Perverted, I guesss…..

@MrGrimm888 -Nothing to do with that.

Ok. Sorry. It seemed potentially relevant to the thread…

@MrGrimm888 “but as long as I have access, when I need it, that’s good enough”
Damn that is sexy.

@anniereborn….a guy would tell you that if they almost never had an orgasm there’d be no point in having sex. That’s what Lucky Guy said anyway. Maybe there are men out there who don’t care if they have one or not.
I don’t feel it’s necessarybut it sure is nice.

@anniereborn . It’s really that simple. I need a girl, who will let me take her, whenever I want. Some girls like that. My ex knew, that. We fornicated, almost non stop. If she she wasn’t in the mood, she’d at least give me a hand job, or allow me to feel her up, and take care of myself. We even had a panties exchange program. She would leave me some worn undies, for when we would be apart for awhile. That was awesome.

If I were a girl, I think I’d like that. It meant that I just wanted her. I loved her. And if I was a girl, I’d be flattered that a guy always wanted me.

I gave her oral, constantly. Usually before she went to work. I wanted her to have a good beginning to her day. I thought I was being really nice to her. She would have to wake up really early, and even though I didn’t have to, I’d wake up and take care of her. Then, when she left, I’d go back to sleep. But I think like a man. To me, that means constant sexual gratification, is a good thing. I enjoyed making her feel good. I tried to give her as much sexual attention, as I could. But sometimes, she seemed like she thought I was giving her the wrong kind of attention. My motivation, was to keep her happy. But I failed somehow…

I would rub her feet (I hate feet,) and give her back rubs, all the time. I used to buy her gift cards, for a massage parlor. And when she’d get back from her massage, I’d run her a hot bath, and then give her oral, and let her pass out. I thought I was being really good to her. In the end. She just cut me loose… I don’t understand women, and I don’t know where I went wrong.

As a man, if I got oral everyday, and lots of affection, I’d be VERY happy. I’d have a bottle of wine, and candles lit, when she came over. I went to the beach with her, which I hate, but I wanted to do stuff she enjoyed. I tried to treat her like a queen, which she was, to me… I hear other girls saying that they’d love to be treated like I treated her…

So…why is she your ex @MrGrimm888?

It’s a long story. The short version, is I gave her everything I had. I guess I just fell short somewhere. She started taking an antidepressant, that changed her personality. But. I’m the type of person that assumes that I am responsible for failure. I tried to talk to her, about things I could do differently, but she wasn’t always honest with me. Like I said, I tried to treat her like a queen. In the end, it seemed to work against me. She wanted me to be more assertive. She wanted me to choose where we ate, instead of just being ok, with wherever she wanted to eat. Things like that. She also wanted me to be rough, with her in bed. I loved her. So, I didn’t like hurting her. I don’t know Dutch. I just failed her, somehow. She had issues. But I blame myself. I think she cheated on me. I think we may have a child together, who has leukemia. But she has often lied to me. And I cut her off, completely, a couple years ago. I blocked her number, and will not speak to her, EVER again. She turned out to become very manipulative. I don’t know what I did wrong. If anything. She knows I cut her out of my life. Which could be why she hasn’t told me about the child. She completely head fucked me, and broke my heart to pieces. The last time we were reunited, she wanted to get married, and have a family. We tried to have a child. After a few weeks, she dumped me, out of the blue, and seemed to have lost her mind. I offered to let her move in with me, and let me nurse her through her problems. I told her she could quit her job, and I would get a second job, until she was better.
She eventually told me that she was moving away, and joining a church/monastery, or something. So. I severed ties.

It wasn’t until several months ago, I found out about the child. Like I said, it could be mine. The age of the child doesn’t make it likely to be mine, but it’s very close. And she knows I hate her, so, she may just not be telling me about it. I have no idea. Her close friend (who is like my sister,) tried to show me pictures of the child. Which is very odd, considering that she knows we’ll never be together again. My head is spun, in a thousand directions. Part of me wants to contact her, and see if it’s my child, especially if it’s sick. But, I don’t want to reopen a wound, that I honestly haven’t recovered from yet…

I’m a fuck up Dutch. That’s my specialty. I don’t have any solid answers to any questions I have about the situation.

All I know is, I have a lot of trouble trusting women. And each one since, has only made me more critical of the female gender…..

I don’t know what to do. I am a lost soul, right now…

@MrGrimm888: You could contact the sister and ask if your ex will let you get a DNA test on the child, and then you’ll know for sure. Then you can make some decisions based on that.

I have to say that any man who thought I had the interest or time for sex three times every day would not last long in a relationship with me.

@janbb I’ve had that and tbh, it was annoying after several years. Sometimes it felt like he just wanted my body, and theres so much more of a person to love.

@jca2 . I am reluctant to contact my ex, by any means. Having a DNA test, is the obvious choice. But I don’t know if my heart can bare anything else, from this woman. It could open a whole new can of worms. I am not sure how, or what to do. I am mixed, emotionally. I don’t know exactly how to proceed….

@MrGrimm You could be missing out on the real love of your life, that boy. Only you know the timeline, but the boy probably could use his dad. Seems worth anything to me.

^It’s more complicated than that. I can’t contact this girl. I can’t trust her. And I can’t mentally deal with her. She knows exactly how to manipulate me. Despite what my heart wants, my brain tells me to stay apart from her. She isn’t stupid. She could drag me into a lot of craziness.

It breaks my heart to say this, but if it’s our child, she should have told me about it years ago. I would have helped, if it took everything I had. I would have given everything, to prorect our child. I would give bone marrow, or whatever it needed. I guess, I’m willing to let her choose what is right for the child.

She could contact me, if necessary. I’m done with her, but I would expend my every resource for our child…. I don’t know enough facts, to take appropriate action. And it wouldn’t be unlike her, to withhold all of this from me.
If I tried to see what’s really going on, I couldn’t trust her.

I just hope that my child, isn’t dying, in MUSC. She is a dangerous individual. I have no idea what she could do to me….

@MrGrimm Be interesting to see who’s listed as father on birth certificate even. May be fairly easy to check.

^This may seem heartless, but I don’t want to know… If it’s my child, the botch could have told me…

If it isn’t, I wish the child well, but I don’t care about her feelings. Or her, AT ALL. Let her suffer the pain she deserves…

That was a sad story @MrGrimm888. I am sorry Love.
But I have to agree that most women do not want sex 3 times a day. Jesus. The mess. She’d never have a chance to get clean.
How did you react when she said no?

@KNOWITALL..
Reminds me of something Coloma said, that her ex was just using her vagina to masturbate in. Every mature woman knows that frustration.

@Dutchess_lll Thankfully I do not know that frustration. I will not put up with anything like that. At 51, I think I am mature enough.And, I have a considerate husband.

@ anniereborn…You have never had sex with anyone other than your husband? As a teen or in the years before you got married?

@Dutchess_lll Lol, yes I have. In fact I have an ex husband, and one ex (very serious)-boyfriend. There were a few others in there, but I did not feel that way, no.

Dutch. She almost never said no. She liked it just as much as me. I remember we had sex 14 times, in 48 hours. That was early in our relationship. When I was in positions behind her, I could see that she was smiling from ear to ear. She wasn’t a person who smiled all the time. Testosterone, gets transmitted to the female whenever a man kisses her. I guess, I had enough to keep her libido high, like mine. She wasn’t very clean, after all the sex, but I liked her like that. And if she showered, I would get her again. Soon after…

I wasn’t “using” her. I took good care of her. And I loved her. Like I said, if I were a female, I’d like the constant attention. Time between sex, I would give her massages, or do other things that weren’t necessarily sexual. And she would do the same for me. She would rub my head, and I would fall asleep in her lap… We were very loving, to each other.

@MrGrimm I think we’re just saying from our female pov, why a lot of great sex may not be enough. Not criticizing, we werent there. :)

^Well. I think it’d be easiest to say, I don’t understand women. And they certainly don’t understand us. Although a maie, is to 2+2,as a woman is to quantum physics….

Haha…have to admit that image is kind of creeping me out, Grimm. Don’t think I’m ever smiling ear to ear while having sex—even when I’m enjoying it. LOL

@raum. She only did it, when she though I couldn’t see her face. When I told her about it one day, she denied it. I don’t see what’s embarrassing about it…

@MrGrimm888 Maybe she was grimacing, not smiling :p

She was smiling… Unquestionably.

I can’t say I have ever had an “ear to ear” grin while having sex. Maybe a small smile of satisfaction after orgasm, or small smile of satisfaction the the guy was happy. I’ve never seen a guy smiling ear to ear during sex either. It some how seems inappropriate in that situation. Maybe it’s just me.

What’s wrong with being happy,when you are being pleasured?

I think it would be appropriate for me to mention that my ex, was crazy… Maybe that’s relevant….

@MrGrimm888 -Nothing.

What’s best is when your libido is in line with your partner’s libido. When you both want lots of sex, it’s great. If you both want no sex or barely any sex, it’s ok, too. As long as the other person wants the same amount, for the majority of the time (barring illness or other hopefully temporary issues), then it’s ok. If there’s an imbalance, and one person’s needs or desires are way more or less than the other’s, then there are problems.