Did I do the right thing or should I have kissed her?
Asked by
MaisyS (
734
)
October 6th, 2019
So in a previous question I told of how a friend of mine kissed me, told me she liked me, and then told everyone I was a dyke.
She apologised a day or so later n told the whole school she liked me back. We ignored this for a while after but yesterday, at a party, we talked about what happened and she said she reacted so horribly because she found out that I liked her from a mutual friend and she panicked because the idea pleased her a little. And that she wanted to be with me and the question was whether I would run away. I told her absolutely not. She was leaning in for a kiss but we both had just eaten so I jokingly pulled away (I had garlic breath haha). I told her so. And she laughed and just kissed me on the cheek and told me to wait until later. And I know its futile but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I have kissed her?
Also I’m grinning constantly which is normal, but at the same time I’m also nervous and a little scared. What if things don’t work out? To boot she’s a close friend and I don’t want to lose her. Also she constantly keeps dropping hints that we don’t have to tell either of our parents. That our “love” is only temporary. I know that’s true but it worries me even more for some reason.
Moreover she is far more popular than I am, and we were talking about the party today when I realized how left out I feel when she talks about how much everyone likes her. Would that be a potential problem?
Furthermore, she seems to be skirting around the fact that anything even happened at the party. I dropped some hints but she didn’t pick them up. I tried being direct but she changed the topic. Should I just chalk this down to her getting used to the idea?
I know this sounds juvenile but this is the first I’ve ever even come close to a relationship,and I would really like some advice. I’m sorry that this question asks so many things and that it’s so long.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
18 Answers
You should follow your heart. That’s not easy, because it speaks in a very soft voice. Get to a quiet place, close your eyes, and try to listen to your heart. Do what it says.
I answered this in another question and immediately thought it again when I read your post:
Pay close attention because people always show you what they are.
She might be trying to figure out how to proceed but you do not have to tolerate being thrown under a bus.
She apologized and that is good but when I read this; “she talks about how much everyone likes her. Would that be a potential problem?” I thought that you must really like her to ignore that.
It screams insecurity and that to me is a red flag. An exhausting,boorish,red flag at that.( on her part, in case i wasn’t clear)
Value yourself. :)
No, you should not have kissed her if doing so made you uncomfortable for any reason. Just make sure you have freshly brushed teeth from now on!
Wasn’t she one of the mean girls who were excluding you from gatherings? Was she drinking at the party? She may be flirting with lesbianism and trying you out. I would proceed with caution.
Yeah, and then called her names in front of all the other mean girls.
She’s bi-curious and using you to test the waters. It seems she showed you her true colors when she kissed you and told everyone else that you’re a Dyke. I don’t think that I could ever give her my complete trust after that. I’d always wonder when she was going to throw me under the bus again. Kissing her with garlic breath would have been a fitting payback. Plus, it would have shown you how serious she was about kissing you again. Kissing garlic breath is a huge turnoff and if she still went for it, it would help to make her more believable in my book.
I still think that you should proceed with caution in regards to her and her behavior. I’m feeling another huge betrayal coming. If she was serious about being with you, she wouldn’t care who knew it. I fear that you’re going to be dumped sooner than later
How do girls survive teenage angst? Boys have their issues, but I swear NOTHING compares with the carnage the girls inflict on one another, and usually the boys as well.
I don’t know @stanleybmanly. It’s so damn awful. We’re awful to each other.
Boys, on the other hand, are very simple. They have one thing on their mind.
So I was right and she DOES like you!? Yay!
All I can say is the same as Hawaii, just do what your heart says.
Thank you all again for your advice. My friend is again silent about anything between us, now pretending as though nothing at all has happened. I have decided to let her take the lead on this and see where it goes.
You’re giving her permission to toy with you, to yank your chain? Why would you do that? Would you let a guy use you like that?
@Dutchess_III It’s another hs girl possibly coming to grips with her bisexuality. Seems complicated.
I know that. That’s why I asked if she’d let a guy play with her like that.
You know you’re right @Dutchess_lll I probably wouldn’t, but only if I didn’t know the guy from before. But if he had been my best friend for a while before we fought for the first time I might have made allowances. Just the same as I’ve done with my friend in this case. I appreciate all your advice and that you are concerned enough to reply to me. Rest assured I won’t let her hurt me again. We’re both figuring the logistics out right now. So yes I will let her define how we move forward, but most certainly within boundaries. I won’t let her take advantage of me again :).
Good to hear. Stay strong. Your self worth does not depend on another person.
Answer this question 
Composing members:
0
