Do we need to be considerate with jealous spouses?

They could grow a pair & then consider the value of their own life if the spouse is a jealous freak.XD
I don’t think that getting a card from someone warrants a freakout by anyone, even if the partner is going to run off into the sunset with the sender.
If you know that the spouse might cause problems for the person you want to contact,I don’t think I’d send it.
If someone wants to cheat,they will.Jealousy is an incredibly stupid waste of time.
So now, I will wait for the card from you and don’t forget the check! :D

I think showing consideration for anybody’s circumstances is the best route. If you know a couple well enough to question whether or not a certain course of action would be prudent (like sending a card, obviously necessary medical intervention is a different issue), don’t do it.

In the question you mentioned, I think the OP was overthinking it a bit, but even a gut feeling may be telling.

And really, yes, showing consideration of the jealous spouse is a could idea. Why would you not? To make a point? Why? It becomes way more about you than them if this becomes a concern for you.

It’s not our place to test a relationship in order to see if a spouse needs to grow a pair. You are a dick if that’s how you feel.

Of course as this upsets the spouse, causing problems with trusting .

Which is more important your spouse or the other?

It really depends on “if” there were other instances that the spouse is in doubt of too?

More people than not have ended up in divorce over mistrust issues warranted or not?

The jealous Spouse needs more reassurance that nothing mistrustful is happening, so the onus is on the perpetrator to iron out his/her feelings and how it hurts there loved one.

The wife gets super jealous when I lick my reflection in the mirror.
I say jealous, but it may of course be nausea.

There’s no blanket rule here. I teact on a case by case basis, depending on how the issue is presented.

I think that IF you care for your friend, you shouldn’t knowingly bring pain into their lives for selfish reasons!!! My first husband was extremely jealous to the point that IF a man walking past us on the street looked at me, he’d accuse me of having an affair.That would have meant an automatic beating once out of the public eye. Receiving an unwanted card from a person that I hadn’t seen nor spoken to in over 16 years could have meant my death. I don’t think I went the jealous route in my response; however, IF he cared about his friend, I still think it was a creepy idea to suddenly send a card to her out of the blue. This woman had married someone else, closed out her social media accounts, & NOT contacted this person for 16 years. I’m of the opinion that had she wanted to continue the friendship, there would have been some form of contact other than NONE!!!

I removed myself from an unhappy relationship by moving 500 miles away…thinking out of sight, oit of mind. I come home from work 3 years later to find him sitting on my doorstep…uninvited. I hadn’t given him my new address or phone number for a reason & still there he sat. The conversation started out that he missed me & just needed a friend & later turned into I told you that we were getting married in 3 years…your time is up. I didn’t have a jealous partner/spouse at the time, but it sure felt creepy to me & would have welcomed my ex into the situation!!!

It took hours of talking to convince him that whatever we had in the past was just that…in the past!!! My last husband didn’t have a jealous bone in his body; but, I think a strange man sitting on our doorstep might have brought out the worst in even him!!! I was single & I didn’t appreciate this guy inserting HIS drama in MY life; & had I been happily married, I would have appreciated it even LESS!!! I don’t think it is the guy’s place to grow a pair & determine what it is that I want when he has NO respect for what it is that I want!!!

What goes on between a couple is between a couple. It’s not up to any outsider to say what shouldn’t occur or that the jealous person’s feelings need to be changed.

As we all know, feelings are not always logical. Who knows why the jealous one is so jealous. If the spouse tolerates it, then it works for them.

What is inappropriate is contacting someone who is indicating that they aren’t looking to be contacted. This may cause a whole lot of upset in the relationship, and who wants that?

You better!! (Cracks whip)

Infidelity, does not always take the same path, or reason.
Of you have a SO, that drinks a lot, or does hard drugs, they may cheat on you, and not even remember it.

There are many variables, in why a person cheats on another.

Being worried about a SO, who is out drinking, or doing drugs, is different from jealousy, in my mind.

It basically comes down to trust. You either trust your SO, or you dont. If you trust them, there is no need for jealousy. If you can’t trust them. That’s when you start wondering what is going on.
Trust. Is the foundation of ANY relationship. Without it, you cannot have a healthy relationship.

I think having a spouse or SO in your life implies you are intimate with that person. Intimacy goes way beyond sex…it goes into feelings. As such, yes, we do need to be considerate of that person’s feelings when we do things. As humans we will always say or do something that might be wrong or taken wrong. When you are intimate with someone you should be working harder to avoid that sort of thing. If you are considering an action and are not sure how your spouse/SO will take it, you need to have that discussion if for no other reason than to avoid misunderstanding later.

^Dammit @seawulf575 . Here we are, in agreement again…

I didn’t and don’t quite get the context of this question. I thought it was referring to Jellie’s answers to questions on Fluther from the details but now I think it refers to out of the marriage different sex friendships? Can the OP clarify?

Some people are absolutely absurd with their paranoid jealousy. Jealous men can be dangerous men.

^And jealous women, aren’t? All humans, are capable of being dangerous… I love you Dutch, but you consistently bash the male gender… Give us some credit….

I’m sure they can be if they have a weapon.

@MrGrimm888 I agree with you; however, when you’ve only had experience with one gender that’s the experience from which you pull!! You’ve obviously had experience with a bitch of a woman…mine was a bitch of a man. It seems @Dutchess_lll has had a similar experience!!!

^Valid point.