Do You Know Anyone Who Is Cheap?

Two people come to mind.
My husband used to work with a guy who eventually moved down the street from us. The other also lived down the block. They eventually became friends and tried to out-cheap each other.Fun to watch-for a minute.

I have a multi-millionaire uncle that chose to live in an old single wide trailer for many years. He owned a trucking company at the time-a very successful businessman in all that he does/did. He was very frugal and hates to pay for anything.

One of my old bosses was so cheap, he’d bring checks at 6pm Friday (payday) to save a days interest. We all closed at five so we had to wait or come back.

I suggest your husband has a private conversation with his parents about the student loans, his income, that the loans were for affluent families- maybe they dont realize. Perhaps an interest free loan from them, is a possibility. If you dont man up and ask, you have no right to complain if there was no agreement made imo.

I have weathy friends and family who are so used to having money, they forget other people dont. Its not malicious, they just dont have that worry.

Also, if they are wealthy, is there no trust or money set aside for his education? Thats pretty odd.

The following is a true story: My cousin, up in the Pacific Northwest, won 90 million in the lottery. I think it was in 2015 or so.
There is a field across the street from my son’s house. The farmer rotates crops. A couple of years ago the farmer grew cotton. My DIL posted a picture of the kids water coloring with cotton instead of brushes. They just went across the street.
My millionaire cousin went wild! She begged me to send some cotton for arts and crafts, because the cotton they have at Hobby Lobby is SO expensive!
I took it as a joke, but nonetheless filled up a shoe box with cotton and sent it off.
A week later she thanked me, but asked if I could send more, and with them attached to the stems! It was ridiculous! I sent a much bigger box, not only full of cotton, but threw in other crap we found in the ditches and stuff that could be used in some sort of display! Everybody loved it!

I find it a little disgusting that they brag about how much their bonuses were.

My Butler Carstairs comes in at £8 an hour, cheap at half the price.

Yes, by your standards, me. I don’t spend my money the way other people think I should, and I have excellent reasons for living as I do.
How easy it is to judge others when they don’t do the things with their stuff that you think they should.

There’s a certain mindset that I think was far more prevalent when I was younger. It had to do with people who lived through the great depression. Nowadays, such people are exceedingly rare, but I remember when coming up at being constantly surprised at the “frugal” habits of people I would judge too prosperous to be concerned with such arcane chores as saving string and such. I don’t think of myself as cheap, but back when my son was 10 there were actually packs of dogs loose here in the city, and I had a habit if scanning the ground as I walked to avoid the poop. And it was amazing how much change you can actually find on the ground. Well one day the 10 year old admonished me for “picking up pennies”. His 5 year old sister, on the other hand, thought it was a marvelous game. (Like all sensible women, she worshiped me). Anyway, I quickly advised the upstart that it might be a bad idea to chastise his source for arcade and videogame money, and that henpecking was his mother’s job! I also told him that you never find coins on the sidewalk in the financial district or on the sidewalks in front of the mansions.

One man’s cheapness is another man’s frugality.

You know, there is a reason some people amass so much money.

I agree with @KNOWITALL, if your husband needs financial assistance, he needs to sit down with his parents to discuss all of that.

I would probably also laugh if I got $15 in a birthday card. But not because it wasn’t more cash. But because I’m not seven-years-old.

A person can be frugal, which is all fine and well but when their frugality extends to seeing what they can get others to pay for, that is when it becomes a problem.

@KNOWITALL He has been talking to his dad about how to get his payments down so he knows and has seen how they are based on his income and not my husbands realistic income. I don’t think he wants them to give him money he just wants to know they would be willing to for him, their son. There is no trust fund or money aside for him. His dad never tells him he is proud of how he finished school while working full time and never asked for money… it’s more about that than “how dare he not give us money!!”

I have a colleague who told me some months ago that he needed a little knife to peel the potatoes.
So he went to the city center to shop for one.
The first shop he bought one from, sold him a crappy one (he found out peeling the potatoes later that day) so he returned it.
On the the next shop.
Here the knife was €3 (as opposed to the first one, which was €1.50).
This he found too expensive, so he went to the third shop.
He bought the knife for €2.50.
A good knife.

Is this cheap?
Or frugal?
A challenge?

I know that I wouldn’t make the same trip, for a €2 knife, but apparently he thought it was well worth the ‘trouble’.

The same colleague gifted me a fridge/freezer combination when I told him that mine had died.

I agree with @chyna.

I don’t care what they do with their money but IT IS embarrassing when we go to eat somewhere and they are arguing with the waiter over being charged 25cents too much.

And the other small stuff is just funny.

It does wear on me though when being frugal is always a topic of discussion but so is how much he makes.

I’ve also heard his dad tell his mom no to buying simple things like a pair of snowboots and a frame to put a picture of her frined who passed away in yet he bought himself a Mercedes. He makes her drive an inexpensive Honda.

Hearing that shit all the time can drive you crazy. I still love them to death though.

@rebbel I think some people find it to be a challenge or a hobby! My dad is retired now and will drive around the whole state to find the cheapest gas. I always thought how silly you just wasted half a tank looking for a deal. :) I think he just likes to get out of the house.

Every year they get richer yet every year they send him less money.

I think this statement maybe the root of your problems. You and your husband are expecting help relative to how much money they have. And I suspect that the amount of help they are giving is relative to how adult they expect you to be. As a parent, the goal is to raise your kids to be self-reliant. Slowly decreasing support is the goal. Not increasing support as they get older.

When I was a bank teller I took a phone call from a woman who wanted verification that the $50 she’d deposited the other day hit the account. I opened the account, and to my astonishment it had almost a million dollar balance! And here she was fretting over a $50 deposit!
I said something to a co worker, and she pointed out that that is probably WHY the woman has so much money!

@candidmajor I wasn’t attaching you personally with my post. It is your business how you handle your money and you shouldn’t feel bad about that! I think it’s great you have a plan for how to spend your money and I wouldn’t tell you to do it differently.

The point I was making was that my in laws brag about their money yet CONSTANTLY talk about how expensive things are and how they are going to be frugal.

I like to talk about social situations and this is just another situation I find fascinating.

:)

BTW, what kinds of Birthday gifts does your dad get his parents?

@raum I said in my post how he didn’t’ want to be a brat about how much his bday money was but it’s like if they are going to cut back on something why would it be on the literal ONLY thing they give their only son. Neither of us expect anything but it has been tradition for a very long time that he get a $100 check from them….. and his dad talks about every year how much more his bonus are and how much his raise was and how much they paid for his condo the list goes on.

I wouldn’t say we have a problem. And I think my whole story proves how self reliant my husband is… He went to school full time, worked a full time job, and has been making astronomical payments on his loans(based on a million dollar salary) for 10 years on a $50,000 salary. There has been NO support from his parents. And whether or not he gets $100 or $55 dollars for his birthday would help that debt. It’s like getting a Jelly of the month Club for your Xmas bonus all of a sudden one year (Remember in Christmas Vacation?)

I don’t want to come across as “they have so much money why don’t they give more to me!?!” It more about the social aspect of it.

There’s an episode of Sex and the City (lol) where Carrie is having financial trouble and the only one who doesn’t offer her money or to help was Charlotte. Carrie said that she wouldn’t have taken any of her money but it would have been nice for her to offer in some way to know she cared about her well being. It’s kinda like that.

@Dutchess_III He buys them stuff for their house usually… They are really elderly so it’s usually like décor items.

@canidmajor and by attaching I meant attacking* sorry for the typo

I have very wealthy people in my family but they never discuss money. I know what their homes are worth because I have googled and see multi-million dollar price tags on the condos in their building and stuff like that, and I know they own multiple homes in wealthy areas. They are not cheap people.

I have middle class friends who watch their money but none that are very frugal, like your in-laws. I would find that annoying too.

I just asked a question about giving gifts and having a dollar amount in mind. I wouldn’t give a $15 dollar gift to anybody, unless it was merely a token gift. Even when I give gifts at Christmas to the office staff, I spend more like 20 to 30 dollars each.

They simply sound like clueless, tacky people, to brag about money, then send worthless pennies as a Christmas gift.

@jca2 -” they never discuss money” Smart

We were always taught it’s tacky to talk about how expensive things are, @lucillelucillelucille.

I will talk about buying things on sale, but never about how much they are (my expensive handbag or whatever).

I’m “cheap” but I go for value rather than price. I love guac so I’ll pay the extra buck for it. I’ll pay the premium for good shoes because being able to walk comfortably is important. I have a $3k mountain bike which some see as extravagant but I’ll ride it yen years and enjoy the hell out of it.

We “cut corners” on things that are not necessary to spend tons of money on. I buy my cars used with cash, we get our groceries at Aldi and most of our general household items came from estate and yard sales or thrift stores. Thing is these are generally nicer things than we would ever buy new if at all. I remember just a few weeks ago we had to take a course at work that discussed appearance and dress and someone made a comment that it costs a lot of money to dress for work. I had to bite my tongue as the dress shirt and slacks I was wearing did not even cost me a dollar in total. I literally spent more on the coffee I was drinking. I was happy to pay for the good coffee and not the swill they serve in the cafeteria.

@BackInBlack Can you refi the loan debt to match your income now possibly?

With both your incomes and you living frugally (maybe even driving beaters a few years-lol), perhaps you are overlooking the lesson they are trying to teach.

Part of the reason rich people have money is because they don’t spend it all. Not that it can’t be beyond ridiculous how frugal some people can be.

Most people have things they are willing to spend on and things they really cheap out on. My husband will spend $100k on a car, but darn his socks and bring lunch every day to work to save money.

A friend of mine was telling me her sister complains about money, but also owns a million dollar house, and takes one or two long cruises a year. About a year ago my friend was really worried about her sisters financial situation because of something she said. Worried about her sister buying her a gift of a pair of jeans that were $90. I asked her, “why are you worried?” Her sister and husband are retired, with pensions and SS, and have owned their house for years, and just put in a $100k pool in their backyard. It’s obvious to me they have plenty of money for their lifestyle. My friend said, “my sister was trying to think of an inexpensive way to feed her guests for a few days, she was worried about the money.” The back story is my friend had suggested making some steaks, and fairly expensive meals for the guests. A couple of weeks later my friend said to me, “I guess you were right, I just found out my sister has millions, and she’s shocked my husband and I don’t.”

To me, her sister isn’t cheap, she does spend lots of money, but she saves where she likes too. Not to mention my friend doesn’t have much money, because she spends where I never would. She and her husband bought platinum Disney annual passes. I think they are $800 each. You can get a perfectly good annual pass with some blackout dates for half the price. We live just over an hour from Disney, we can go any time. She probably thinks I’m cheap sometimes, but I think she throws money on the street.

I admit I too would want parents to help pay off the college debt. At least help. He has his degree right? So, it’s not like paying for a year and he dropped out. It’s too bad they won’t help with that.

You aren’t entitled to gifts. I don’t know how old his parents are, but if they are under 60 they likely still are in a saving mode, and worried about having enough money for the rest of their own lives. If they have enough money for themselves you won’t have to take money from your hard earned savings to support them. That’s what I think adult children should be very grateful for, not having financial concerns for their parents, and hoping their parents get to enjoy life. Any inheritance and gifts are gravy.

@jca2 -Exactly.

I worked full time and put myself through college and did not expect my mom to congratulate me for doing it, nor did she.

Well, part of the reason some people are rich is they they make above and beyond what they need for sheer survival so they can save some.

I’m coming in late here. Sorry about that.

My dad grew up in the Depression, but his parents were well enough to do that they were able to afford maids. There was little love in his home growing up; he was an unwanted child. They assumed that he wouldn’t mind if they gave the money they could have spent on him for Christmas and birthdays to their impoverished relatives. Unfortunately he always received underwear as gifts. He hated any celebration, especially Christmas.

I suppose as a result Dad always saw love in terms of money. “Look how much money I spent on you!” was used as a constant reminder of his love for me.

When Dad was in his waning years we moved him in with us. That’s when I noticed how he shopped. He’d drive 10 miles out of his way to buy two bananas on sale.

A friend of mine has two houses, but she’s very middle class, not rich by any means. But she’ll go out to eat and if she has a half a cup of food left over, she gets the waitress to bag it up and she takes it home. To me it’s not worth the effort and refrigerator space.

It’s funny to see what different people will spend their money on. Some people talked about it on this thread. Me too. If I want something bad enough and it’s within my means, I may or may not buy it. Now, it’s also a question of, do I really need it? For example, I love perfume and will spend some bucks on nice perfume, but now I ask myself, do you need it when you have all those bottles on the dresser? Why not use some up and then get more in the future. So there’s that.

I’ll talk about money if the person I am with has a similar about of money, and the discussion is about investments or tax advice, that sort of thing. I don’t talk about how much money my husband and I make or have, although, I might say how much I invested in a particular fund, but usually not. It’s not really necessary to discuss the amount.

Usually, I will tell the amount I paid for something if someone asks. That’s how we help each other not overpay. The consumer has more power if they know how much other people paid.

When I’m shopping with friends, we always talk about what things cost. $150 handbag on sale and with a coupon, $60 or something like that. “Where do you get your hair done?” “such and such place, 75 for a color.”

I can be a pretty cheap person according to people’s standard. But I’m proud of it. In my country there seems to be a culture based on emotional spending. Spending money to celebrate just about anything no matter how trivial it is: getting your paycheck, buying a new item, parties of all sorts; and all sorts of gambling games… I see these things done by young people, and then they complain about running out of money. Not engaging in these things would culturally make you dull, stupid and cheap, but I’d rather be dull, stupid and cheap than to be broke at old age.

But unlike your in-laws, I don’t boast about my money habit. Is it even something I should talk about? You won’t even know I’m cheap if you don’t ask this question.

@jca2 she has the waitress bag it up? They quit making doggie bags around here 30 years ago. They’ll give your the container, buy you have to bag up your own. I guess there was a problem with the waiter or waitress taking the plate to bag it up and returning the wrong food so they quit doing that.