Any advice for preparing for a colonoscopy?

Just follow the directions and it’s painless. Instant recovery.

Drink the stuff they give you to clear your colon. It’s not the most tasty stuff in the world, but it’s effective.

Stay near a bathroom.

After the test, it will take your whole intestinal system a day or two to become ‘productive’ again. Prepare for loose stools for a day or two.

I have had two colonoscopies.

The first one, they let me stay awake (sedated of course) and I was invited to watch what was going on, on a monitor next to the hospital bed at the clinic. I thought it was fascinating. Cool technology.

The second one, they put me all the way under. Woke up about 30 minutes later.

Someone has to drive you home.

I had one once. For me, the hard part was not eating the day before. The prep was so disgusting, I put it in Gatorade which I don’t typically drink. So I was struggling to drink this disgusting drink, holding my nose to try to get it down without tasting it.

I had it done in the office of the GI doctor. He had a little room with the bed in it, and the anesthesiologist puts you right to sleep and then you wake up and you’re outta there.

Once the procedure was over, I could eat and I was back to normal. Yeah someone had to drive me. I think my friend drove me and we had lunch, and then he took me to my car, which was outside the doctor’s office LOL. They just knew that someone was there to take me from their office. Two hours later when he took me back to my car, the doctor’s staff was not involved and did not know that I was picking up my car.

It didn’t hurt afterwards, but the whole thing taking two days out of my life is a big pain in the ass, if you’ll pardon the pun. I’m sure in the future they will come up with some type of accurate test that doesn’t take two days.

While waiting for them to come get you, do not tuck your gown between your legs!

I did that because I hate the feeling of my thighs sticking together. They took me back to do the procedure with my gown like that. When I woke up, apparently they had simply yanked the gown, and gave me quite a rope burn in the creases of my groin.

Of course the idiots denied everything, but I certainly didn’t have any fresh rope burns going into surgery!

Procedure is painless as you are asleep for it. The prep is the worst part and it’s not really that bad. Just drinking some stuff and going to poop a lot. I hope yours is early in the morning. I couldn’t eat after 8 p. m. the night before and my surgery was around 11. No pain, just was starving and needed food RIGHT THAT MINUTE! Smooth sailing after that.

They gave me an anaesthetic that wasn’t really an anesthetic. It was some drug that made you forget instantly, basically.
Well, I came to in the middle of the procedure. I was facing the monitor the doc was watching the progress on.
“Cool!!!” I said!
And damn it, they put me right back out.
I should have stayed quiet.

Watch this all the way through. It covers everything.

https://youtu.be/q1Dc3t0YAw0

Two bottles of magnesium citrate and Ducolax. Cheap, easy, eat last meal by 3PM, then in the evening take ducolax and one bottle. Wait an hour and drink the other bottle. You’ll go a lot and can go to bed before midnight. That $120 kit of torture the doctor prescribes…never ever again.

It’s not just that you can’t eat past a certain hour the night before. The whole day before you’re on clear liquids, so coffee, tea, broth, jello (not red jello because it looks like blood), so green jello, yellow, etc. No creamy soups or anything like that. So for me, I was quite hungry going through the day like that. That’s why I said it’s a two day test. It really affects two whole days of your life.

New alternative to colonoscopy is as easy as swallowing a pill…
https://www.sciencedaily.com › releases › 2017/03

Saw this on TV. ( News about newest health procedure ).

One tip that helped me get the vile stuff down was one that said mix it with Crystal Light instead of just water.

When preparing for the procedure (cleaning the colon), never trust a fart. As for the procedure, you are basically out like a light for it so it is meaningless. You will come out of it a little loopy for a while. And you will pass gas like crazy for a few hours.

I should have that bronzed, or maybe sewn onto a baseball cap….