Should I be worried about mental illness?

A sensible person with a family history of high blood pressure, would regularly have a physician check their blood pressure.
A sensible person with a family history of colon cancer would regularly get scoped.

Thus, a person with a family history of mental illness should occasionally check in with a professional and tell them what they are thinking.

Mental illness can be very insidious, it’s when you aren’t worried that it is most dangerous. I would firstly try and avoid the triggers that you know precede these mental states and secondly I would discuss your concerns with a psychiatrist.

Schizophrenia usually starts to show by the late teen years and early 20’s. There can be later onset, but it’s not typical. If you are already 25 or older I’d say you are probably scott free when it comes to schizophrenia, although no one can make a promise.

Paranoia I think can be genetic predisposition and also learned by example, and it can get worse as we age. If you had parents who were paranoid, the behavior they modeled might have affected how paranoid you are.

I’ve read that it’s not unusual for children of paranoid schizophrenics to have some OCD tendencies.

I do think with some genetic predisposition it’s more important than with the average person to try to learn to handle stress well and make good choices to help not complicate life. My grandparents generation on my fathers side was riddled with mental illness,,but all the generations after have not had nearly as severe psychological problems. My grandfather and his siblings went through very bad conditions as children.

I’m not a doctor.

@josie: Oh I do that. Been going to a therapist off and on for 30-years, since college. Went to the school counselor around 4th grade to kick things off.

@flutherother: I’m not so great at avoiding triggers as my triggers are stress and exhaustion, which have been a part of my life since I was fifteen.

@JLeslie: “handle stress well and make good choices to help not complicate life.” — I struggle with this as I know what my life should look like for that to happen, but it doesn’t match up with reality, as I have a ton of responsibility.

This could sound ‘stupid’ and radical, but is there a good reason (better than your (mental) health) why you would continue with having such huge responsibilities?
Maybe you can ditch (a huge portion of it)?
Just imagine how much less stress (and potentially anxiety) that would give you.

I think the fact that you are aware and trying to practice self-care means it is likely that you will avoid falling into mental illness. However, if you are not in therapy it might well be beneficial to go for some to figure out more about your relationship with your past and how to structure your present life to your best advantage – and reduce worry.

Over my years in therapy, I discovered some of the troubling traits of my make-up that I “inherited” from my family of origin. I’m not perfect yet by any means but I’m on much more solid ground.

@rebbel: Not stupid at all, just unrealistic at this point. I’m married with a daughter, own a house, have two dogs, work three jobs, and am one of the primary care people for my elderly mother-in-law. None of the related responsibilities are going away anytime soon.

@janbb: Yes, I’m going through that unearthing process now with my therapist. It’s slow going though and is actually upsetting sometimes. Is that to be expected?

@cookieman Yes, it is. Some of the depths are profoundly upsetting but it is part of the process of realizing and growing through it.

I don’t know your full situation but being chronically overworked is not conducive to mental health. Anything you can do to alleviate that situation would be a step in the right direction. I essentially made a career change to do just that. Part of me still wants to be the “expert” in my work but it came with a heavy price. I’m still considered “green” where I am now but I’m able to put in a straight 40 hours and go home. Instant mental health change and my marriage is better too…

I would do it again and again if needed. I would even relocate to a different part of the country with a better cost of living if I had to.
If you relocated everyone in your care would you be able to drop two jobs?

You should go to a doctor or talk to the therapist to put your mind at ease.
As for combating stress? Try to follow a good exercise & diet plan along with sleep.If you have a spare 20 minutes, go for a walk. Give up some of your responsibilities to others to handle if you can,Good luck :)

I just want to say you are on your way to become the one to break the family “curse”. Please keep it up.

@ARE_you_kidding_me: You are 100% correct and I would LOVE to make that kind of a broad change (I dream about it daily). Unfortunately, my wife and daughter are in very different places than me with regard to lifestyle. Plus, to complicate matters further, when my wife and I had to switch jobs about a year ago, we both took a big hit financially. Hence the three jobs.

@lucillelucillelucille: Thank you. I am fairly good with those. I eat better and lost 60lbs. over the past few years. I am generally in bed by 9–10PM and up at 5–6AM, so I sleep fairly well.

@Mimishu1995: Thank you. I believe that intellectually, but emotionally feel like IT looms over me all the time. Not logical, but there it is.

Keep an eye on the symptoms or even get a DNA health report to determine if possible although just because a relative had it doesn’t mean that you will .
Not everyone in a family receives all of one DNA percentage, some don’t while other inherit a small percentage .
A lot of problems are behaviors that were learned in a family over generations until one discovers a better way of handling problems.
Genetics determine whether one is susceptible while behaviors patterns are learned.
It is a good thing that not “all” DNA is transferred.
You may be one that had positive genes passed on to you?
Just because other family members acted a certain way doesn’t mean that you will too, at least you have the awareness to offset any of that.

@cookieman – Congrats on the weight loss.
Reading your comments, it reminds me of people I have known whose family members died at an early age due to a medical problem.
Both have surpassed their expiration date. :)

You are not just your genes. You are also all of your experiences both good and bad. You have a lovely family as support and a fulfilling career. The fact that you are concerned and think about this says that you are very self-aware and vigilant about it. Id you get into a dark place, seek support from a professional, but remember a dark place does not mean that you are sliding downhill toward mental illness.

(I have not read the thread.)

Thank you so much for your post about mental illness. I live in recovery from bipolar disorder type 2. I also work in the field and read about this all the time.

I do not know your age, but I’m guessing you’re not a spring chicken. If you’re past the age of 30, the chances of developing schizophrenia go down exponentially. My bipolar disorder was diagnosed when I was 37 years old, but I had been self-medicating it with alcohol for years. Since you don’t drink or do drugs, I would surmise you’re probably safe from that as well.

The only serious mental illness you might still be subject to may be depression. There’s no age when it tends to start, so it could still occur.

I must add I am not a doctor. I have a lifetime of experience with mental illness and now work in the field, but I am not a doctor.

My personal thoughts are that you would do well to get into therapy. You’ve got enough trauma in your past to warrant sitting down and talking to someone in depth about all that.

All the best to you.

Edit to add: I just read part of the thread in which you state you’ve been in therapy for a long time. That’s great! I have nothing else to add.

@cookieman I will add what I’m going through in therapy. I’ve been in therapy for 33 years, and I will always go. I have enough trauma in my past to last several lifetimes. I am just now getting to a place where I can deal with the core issues related to my parents and the way I was raised. I bought a notebook, and I’m starting to write about it. I just started writing, so nothing mind blowing has emerged yet, but I fully expect it to.

I’ve come a long way in my life. I’m at a place where I genuinely love myself, and I feel good about my life in general. I’m an out and proud gay man after living with grotesque internalized homophobia for decades that caused me great anguish. I’ve been sober for 20 years and love it. I meditate daily and am about to start my first formal meditation course. I eat a healthy vegetarian diet with rare forays into fish eating. I monitor my sleep daily to make sure I’m getting a good amount. I go to therapy regularly and am completely open about everything in my life. I have a good set of friends whom I see a lot of. I’m actively looking for a boyfriend and have a date tomorrow that I’m really excited about.

Unfortunately, I do not have good relationships with my family of origin, but that’s not unusual for a gay man from the South. I will heal. I’m not worried about it.

@Inspired_2write, @Hawaii_Jake, @marinelife: Thank you all for the advice, care, insight, and sharing. Truly appreciate it.

@lucillelucillelucille: And, my father died of cancer at 62. Sometimes I feel like I struck the reverse lottery.

I should add, fellow Jellies, that today is my 48th birthday, so this is just weighing a bit heavy on me today. ((GROUP HUGS))

Happy birthday, cookieman!

(Was reading quietly because everyone else seemed to have covered all relevant points that I had wanted to make.)

@cookieman It doesn’t mean you will, but then you that :)
Do something fun today! <<HUGS>>

Thank you @raum !!

True enough @lucillelucillelucille. I will.

@cookieman -Did you know that I left out “knew”? :)

@lucillelucillelucille: I wasn’t’t gonna bring it up. Shhh.

@cookieman I appreciate you not caring about that. Really;)

Happy Birthday @cookieman ! I baked you cookies but you have to come to New Jersey to collect.

Fluther cookie tour!

Come to the Bay Area, I’ll make you some cookies too! We can chit chat about schizophrenia, depression, mental illness, drug addiction and questioning your sanity over cookies. :P

Staying away from drugs, particularly marijuana, is perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself given your possible propensity for psychosis. Read. There is a lot available to understand what you might look for. That is different than what I would look for you to exhibit. Stay in touch with you, and take care of your body and spirit. I hope you are never afflicted. I have been around mental illness my whole life and I do not understand how one generation, my sister and I, escaped it.

Yes, (everybody should), and it sounds like you already are. Which gives you a good chance to stay healthy. Already, your life seems full of meaningful activities and connection. That’s a good start.

It’s also great that you’re going to therapy. I wonder, though, if you could make some healthy changes to avoid the exhaustion and stress. The therapy, by itself, will not really help with that. If you insist on a diet that leaves you vitamin-deficient or stubbornly spend your life sitting on the couch, no amount of doctor visits will cure you. It sounds like you’re mostly revisiting old wounds in therapy. What about working with your therapist to change your daily life instead? You might need to look for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) specifically.

For those dark moods, you could try a type of self-medication that actually works. Meditation is one, exercise is another, a third would be reading about harmful thought patterns and how to change them. Here is a book on that. I think you might find it useful in general, since it specifically talks about how to restructure your life in a healthy way. Another resource that could offer some insight on how to get on a better path is this site.

If you died tomorrow, somebody else would need to take over your responsibilities. The world would not collapse. If you can bear it, try letting that thought into your mind. Who would take over? Those people can help share the burden now. And I’m sure your wife and daughter would give up some comfort if it means they can have you around, healthy and happy.

Have a lovely birthday, I hope you can relax a little today. Remember that stress can be enhancing and even healthy for you. Just keep some balance in there.

My dad was overworked, closed off to his emotions, and feeling a huge amount of inescapable responsibilty for decades. He had a nervous breakdown complete with paranoid ideation and hospital stays. It was a very difficult time, and it took almost two years for the shock to subside. Take care of yourself. Please.

@cookieman My extended family has some members that are arrogant and abusive. They stepped on other people to be the best of the family. Some of us know they were bad but none of us knows they have a problem, except me. I’m the only one in the family who can see them for who they are and work on undoing their damage.

So if I can you can too!

Happy birthday by the way. May your new year be the year of you stepping toward the light.

@raum & @janbb: I’d love to do a Fluther tour. I may be meeting a fellow Jelly in person very soon though. Very exciting.

@longgone: Thank you for all of that great advice. I worry a lot about having a breakdown at some point. It seems completely inevitable sometimes. I need to change that. I added your book suggestion to my audible account.

Thank you @Mimishu1995 and @Sagacious

@cookieman I wish you the best of luck. Also, I just remembered that Yale is offering this free course on the science of well-being. You might enjoy it – and if your wife and/or daughter would be interested in learning about these things too, maybe you could eventually segue into a conversation about your happiness and the pressure you’re feeling. Do that rather than the breakdown thing, okay? [Hugs].