Those of you who didn’t want children, did you view your parents as not enjoying being parents?

They must have enjoyed the thought of having many children (8) when they first got married, but the notion wore off when so many children eventually equaled so much work and sacrifice.

My parents love(d) their children, love(d) to have them.
I don’t think I would like to have (a) child/children, because I am not at all sure if I got what it takes.
When my fish limps I go in to panic mode.

My mom enjoyed my younger years, but felt burdened in my pre teens as a single mom. My bio dad never wanted children, mom did eventually, but I was an accident.

I had planned to have children until I realized my husbands health issues and a few other factors, would make it very difficult for me, and wouldnt be fair to the children. Theres a lot more to my decision not to have kids, too, societal, overpopulation, etc..

My sibs and I had good parents.They loved kids.
My parents didn’t have any influence on my decision not to have them.I’ve never felt any pressure to have kids by them either.
Maybe if my sibs didn’t have any children or if I were an only child, they might have pressured me,idk.
That would have went over like a lead balloon. LOL

My dad hated my sister. Made her weigh herself in front of him to make sure she wasn’t becoming a fattie. And if she gained weight he would beat her. One night so bad that there was blood all over the bathtub. This would be the last night of his life.

He loved me. He owned a welding and machine shop that was the size of a Costco. Millions of dollars worth of tools making all sorts of fantastical contraptions. We made most of this..

https://goo.gl/maps/a5rZuMPmixxPEYnQ8

And did the same for factories all over the PNW. Made tons of cash. After school we did the same thing everyday. My sister and I would get out of school and catch the 11 to the Taco Bell on 42nd where I would get a Taco Bell Grande with no tomatoes or lettuce but extra cheese and sour cream, AND NACHOS. Then mom would pick us up and go to the shop.

I was 7–9 years old and got paid well to work. I would sweep up the shop for a few hours dodging looking at welders and my mom would give me 20 bucks (mom controlled petty cash). Then I would run up to Payless and buy Lego. Every day. I had a gross amount of Lego. And Nintendo games and accessories.

But my dad would teach me how to weld, and use the band saw and so on. He seemed to enjoy teaching me stuff. Almost like he likes me being alive.

But the bag of shit made a stink when the family went out for pizza and my sister wanted a slice. “No man will want a fattie, put down that slice and hit the salad bar… But no ranch, that goes to the hips.”

So my dad liked being half a parent I guess.

My mom just spent gross amounts of money on us (the kids) to make up for his horribleness. She also shot him in the forehead to protect her children. So safe to say she cared about us.

Never had a interest in having kids. And my sister had her first when I was 15 and I was living with her and helped a lot with him. And then a few years later she had twins. Also helped raise them. I have done enough parenting.

@johnpowell Wow, what a horrible way to live. Any idea why he was so cruel?

He was a drunk

A mechanical engineer that started the morning with beer.

My mother wrapped up her whole idea of self into being a mother (the later a grandmother). She loved it. My dad, I dunno. Dad was kinda hard to read. Still is. To this day I’m not entirely sure that I really know anything meaningful about who he is, or if my understanding of him is mainly just surface-level (he’d probably say the same about me, to be honest).

As for myself: I never wanted children because I just never wanted them. There was never a conscious choice on my part where I decided not to have kids. There’s just never been any moment in my life where I could envision children as a part of it. No matter what age I was whenever I thought of my life, even how it would be in the future – 5, 10, 20 years down the road – there’s never been children there.

@johnpowell Same here.
May I ask how your sister is now?

Top notch. Her oldest son is living in Arizona running a custom motorcycle place and is getting married soon. The twins just graduated high school in June. One is currently in nursing school at the local community college. The other works at Subway and likes to party. Which is fine. I did the same. Work a shit job a until you want to go to college. You do better when you actually want to be there since you know about (cleaning) the grease trap trap.

My parents were great and we were well raised and loved. They are still great and I am thankful for them. I would be ok with having kids but it is not in the cards for us. We did not want them as we were free spirited and did not like being tied down like that. Later in life like age 40 it was perhaps a little different but generally too late. I do enjoy being somewhat care free in that respect, except it seems like we always are hosting kid events. We spoil all of the nieces and nephews and friends kids though.

My parents were are great, but saw the work and sacrifice they went through for us kids, and just didn’t want that in my life.
Luckily Mrs Squeeky was fine either way, and now for the first time in just about twenty years got laid off and not going to even look for a job till spring.
I have asked my parents if what they know now and had a choice back then would they still be parents my dad said no, but mom says yes.
To answer your question I think Mom enjoyed being a parent far more than dad did,BUT bot were and are great parents to this day.

I had shitty parents, and I don’t think they enjoyed being parents; though, I can’t be sure because I never really knew much about either parent as a person. I wanted kids until I got into my late 20’s. Then I realized I had a lot of the same traits my parents had and I did not want to pass that on. My wife also didn’t want kids, so there’s that.

Very, very interesting question.

I have thought about this question, and even though both were good parents, I don’t think my Dad enjoyed being a parent very much at all.
Mother did enjoy being a parent for the most part but at times you can tell us kids really frustrated her a lot.

Well, of course you frustrated her. That’s just part of being a parent. But some parents get frustrated a LOT more easily than others.

And some kids are more energetic than others or may not listen, which I would imagine would be very frustrating.

And different people have different levels of frustration. My DIL has an extremely low frustration level. As a result she is almost constantly upset and angry. An example, the kids were here. Grammpa had bought about 8 little kid toothbrushes and a plastic hedgehog to store them in. The kids love picking out a tooth brush then walking around with one for a while.
Coops did that after they dropped him off. They stayed to visit. Coops walked in chewing on the toothbrush. My DIL instantly flashed and started yelling “WE BRUSH OUR TEETH IN THE BATHROOM NOT IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!” and physically herded him back to the bathroom, yelling angrily the whole time. Apparently she doesn’t feel she can just tell him what to do (put the toothbrush away.) She has to physically make him do it.

Well, shit. Seriously. Who the hell cares if he scrubs on his teeth in the living room with a dry toothbrush?! He pulled it out the next day (so did one of the other kids.) After 15 minutes I quietly told them to go put them away, and they did.

I’m not a fan of kids walking around while they are brushing their teeth because they leave a trail of toothpaste where they go.

Her reaction seems over the top. But may be the culmination of an on-going issue at home. Hard to say without knowing them better.

You’re assuming he had toothpaste on a wet brush. He did not. It was simply a dry toothbrush, (and I said so in my last sentence above. Also note, I didn’t have to scream at them to get them to put the toothbrushes away.)

I didn’t assume.
I read that part.

But parenting is about establishing behaviors. Running around with a dry toothbrush doesn’t help teach him not to run around with a toothbrush with toothpaste.

I also didn’t say screaming was necessary.

They aren’t stupid. If they want to play with their toothbrush, I see it as a fine thing. If they put toothpaste on it, they can understand that they need to stay in the bathroom with it. Just like they understand that if they have something to drink they need to stay in the kitchen to drink it.

Spilling toothpaste would be the least of my worries, if my children were running around with the brushes in their mouths.
And I don’t have children.

I didn’t let him “run around” with it in his mouth. I wouldn’t have allowed him to run with it in his mouth. This isn’t my first rodeo.
You’re making a mountain out of a molehill here.

@Dutchess_III I think your DIL sounds uptight, needs a glass of wine and a xanax. I cannot stand being around parents that shriek at their kids over nothing. Thank God they have you so they can relax sometimes, poor babies.

We weren’t allowed to run with lollipops, toothbrushes, toothpicks, sucking candies, nothing that we could choke on. She didn’t even like us sitting in the car with any of those things for fear a stop short situation could be dangerous.

Of course @JLeslie.

You say of course, but I’m sure my husband and probably most of his family wouldn’t think like that.

Well, your husband’s family seems pretty foolish. I don’t let them run with sticks in their hands either.
What I don’t get are all of those people up there who let their kids run in the house.

Anyway, it looks like I’ve derailed a thread that I shouldn’t have even commented on. I apologize.

Dutch said they were walking around. I was the one who said running around. But I didn’t mean it literally. Sorry for the confusion.

When I was a teen, we were hanging out in the street and one of my friends was sitting on a car, with a straw in her mouth (plastic drinking straw). Everyone started horsing around and the straw got hit and went into her mouth and did a bad scratch of her palate. She had a bloody mouth and a lot of pain for a few days. It taught her about hanging around with a straw in her mouth.