In a professional environment, friendship, should go out the window.
I have worked multiple construction jobs, with my closest friend. But, when he tells me to do something, wheather I like it or not, my response is “yes sir.”..
When I am being paid to do something, our relationship goes to rank. He’s my boss, and I will do whatever is asked of me, no questions asked, no attitude.
Same with when I would be in charge, as a head of security. I loved, a lot of underlings, but when I gave them an order, I expected it to be carried out. I led a lot, by example, or by doing the dirty work. But there were times, I needed them to just do what I said. No questions asked, no attitude. When working with friends, IMO, you respect the chain of command.
One of best friends, used to work under me a LOT. He knew I didn’t want him to get hurt. So. If the situation called for it, I would do the dirty work. He has a problem being physical with females, and would often ask for how to handle the situation. Usually, I would simply do what needed to be done, and have him watch my back. I wasn’t happy with what I did, but he had too big of a heart, to deal with it. My character didn’t. So. He’d come and get me, when certain situations called for it, and I’d handle it. Heartlessly. Females would often run him over. When I came into the situation, I would do what needed to be done. And the females knew, from my character, that I didn’t seem to care, about what needed to be done. I would drag them out, or what need be. I didn’t have time, to let them slide. I also would fight much larger men, or groups of them. I knew he had a big heart, and just couldn’t do it. But my character, I played, was heartless, and would get things done. Things most men, and not my true self, would be capable of doing. He was not a bad bouncer, but he didn’t have the heart, to do what I would. I played a role, almost like an actor. I had my own personality, and the one who was HOS. That HOS person, was not ME. But the work had to be done. Buy someone. He didn’t like it. Neither did I. But had hundreds of patrons, or more, and had no time for bullshit. So. I did, what had to be done. I didn’t mind that he couldn’t do it, but I often did. And it was sort of good cop/bad cop stuff. I took care of the dirty work, he made sue I didn’t nailed by a drunken guy, that had nothing to do with it.
When I did what I did, it was because he didn’t have the heart to. I never blamed him for that. And I k ow, he thought I went too far, with certain patrons. But. I gave them every chance to leave peacefully.
You simply have to concede, that there are parts of a job, you don’t like. He was generally good at de-escalation. But got ran over multiple times. Because he was a good guy. The character I played, wasn’t a “good guy.”
As time went on, I realized that I was becoming this character. Which is why I guit.
I’m not a good guy. Or at least, when I did that job. I want to be a good guy.
That means being positive, when circumstances don’t allow.
That also means that I need to be more me, than the HOS, I was… Not contribute to a negative atmosphere. And be a part of the solution, not the problem….