Social Question

Mimishu1995's avatar

Is "whatever" an impolite word? And is sighing rude?

Asked by Mimishu1995 (23798points) October 28th, 2019

I’m analyzing a conversation for my thesis. One person said “whatever” a lot when he wanted to change the subject and he sighed when he felt offended. Then at one point the other person said he shouldn’t sigh too much because “that’s like little upset toddler behavior”, and “whatever” is a rude word. This throws me off. Are they universally unacceptable behavior, or was it just the woman who was personally offended by the behavior?

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27 Answers

Pinguidchance's avatar

Whatever, sigh.

It depends on context, intonation and intent.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Pinguidchance you shouldn’t sigh. That’s like little upset toddler behavior. And also whatever is rude ~

MrGrimm888's avatar

I suppose it depends on each situation. Contributing to a negative atmosphere, at work, helps nobody…

Follow rank, and do as you’re told, or find a new job. Some jobs, are frustrating. Especially if the person who is being negative, feels that they are doing the best they can, with what they have. It’s a natural human response to get upset, in that situation. But. If that person keeps it up, that will be viewed as a negative influence…

Mimishu1995's avatar

@MrGrimm888 the people were friends. I thought whatever could be ok because they were supposed to be informal.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

What @Pinguidchance said. Depends on context.

Demosthenes's avatar

It can be. It’s a dismissive way people avoid having to give a real answer or admit they’re wrong. At the same time, some of the people who get so indignant over it act like they’re owed a better response even if they’re being unreasonable and rude themselves. And some people are so tiresome they deserve nothing more than a sigh in response. :)

MrGrimm888's avatar

In a professional environment, friendship, should go out the window.
I have worked multiple construction jobs, with my closest friend. But, when he tells me to do something, wheather I like it or not, my response is “yes sir.”..

When I am being paid to do something, our relationship goes to rank. He’s my boss, and I will do whatever is asked of me, no questions asked, no attitude.

Same with when I would be in charge, as a head of security. I loved, a lot of underlings, but when I gave them an order, I expected it to be carried out. I led a lot, by example, or by doing the dirty work. But there were times, I needed them to just do what I said. No questions asked, no attitude. When working with friends, IMO, you respect the chain of command.
One of best friends, used to work under me a LOT. He knew I didn’t want him to get hurt. So. If the situation called for it, I would do the dirty work. He has a problem being physical with females, and would often ask for how to handle the situation. Usually, I would simply do what needed to be done, and have him watch my back. I wasn’t happy with what I did, but he had too big of a heart, to deal with it. My character didn’t. So. He’d come and get me, when certain situations called for it, and I’d handle it. Heartlessly. Females would often run him over. When I came into the situation, I would do what needed to be done. And the females knew, from my character, that I didn’t seem to care, about what needed to be done. I would drag them out, or what need be. I didn’t have time, to let them slide. I also would fight much larger men, or groups of them. I knew he had a big heart, and just couldn’t do it. But my character, I played, was heartless, and would get things done. Things most men, and not my true self, would be capable of doing. He was not a bad bouncer, but he didn’t have the heart, to do what I would. I played a role, almost like an actor. I had my own personality, and the one who was HOS. That HOS person, was not ME. But the work had to be done. Buy someone. He didn’t like it. Neither did I. But had hundreds of patrons, or more, and had no time for bullshit. So. I did, what had to be done. I didn’t mind that he couldn’t do it, but I often did. And it was sort of good cop/bad cop stuff. I took care of the dirty work, he made sue I didn’t nailed by a drunken guy, that had nothing to do with it.

When I did what I did, it was because he didn’t have the heart to. I never blamed him for that. And I k ow, he thought I went too far, with certain patrons. But. I gave them every chance to leave peacefully.

You simply have to concede, that there are parts of a job, you don’t like. He was generally good at de-escalation. But got ran over multiple times. Because he was a good guy. The character I played, wasn’t a “good guy.”

As time went on, I realized that I was becoming this character. Which is why I guit.

I’m not a good guy. Or at least, when I did that job. I want to be a good guy.

That means being positive, when circumstances don’t allow.

That also means that I need to be more me, than the HOS, I was… Not contribute to a negative atmosphere. And be a part of the solution, not the problem….

JLeslie's avatar

Yes, it’s rude. “Whatever” shows indifference and sighing is passive aggressive.

Indifference shows a lack of caring and love. Passive aggressive behavior is just as damaging to a relationship as aggressive behavior. The passive aggressive person often believes they are in control of their temper and better than those you are more direct, but we all know what they are thinking, and if we are wrong about what they are thinking it’s the passive aggressive persons fault, but they will never see it that way.

Sighing, making music loader, saying whatever, is telling the other person to shut the hell up I’m so tired of you.

Once in a while whatever is ok or even funny, but everyone has to be on board.

rebbel's avatar

“I think he was eating a cheese sandwich, or a ham one…., or a baloney….
– Yeah, whatever (....it was, it doesn’t matter for the story).”

“And on top of that, she told me they found a lump in her knee….
”- Sigh….... ”

elbanditoroso's avatar

Whatever used to be a good, informative word. It has devolved into a derisive and dismissive word, and has taken on meaning (meta-meaning) that it never had before.

I don’t like it, as it used today.

Sighing, on the other hand, is universal behavior – nothing new there. Is it rude? depends on context. Can non-verbal communication be rude?

kritiper's avatar

Specifically, it may depend on where you are, who you are with and what the pretenses are.

tinyfaery's avatar

Saying whatever can be dismissive in a certain context , but I’m not sure it’s necessarily rude. Also, sighing a lot can be a sign of an anxiety disorder or depression. It could have nothing to do with another person at all.

https://www.popsci.com/sigh-reason-study/
https://www.prevention.com/health/a20508517/why-you-sigh-so-much/
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/i-sigh-a-lot-what-does-that-mean/

Some people need to get over themselves. We are not the center of the world. Not every action, or emotion, or utterance has something to do with another person.

josie's avatar

It may or may not be rude. Convention has not decided that yet.

But both are evasions of participating in a logical argument.

Whatever or sighing means I can’t put up a logical argument so I will evade the challenge by acting like you are too boring or too stupid to argue with. It is a version of the ad hominem fallacy.

Rude or not it should be called out for what it is.

JLeslie's avatar

@josie Interesting take! No logical argument. Watson I think you are on to something.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

It depends on context. By itself “whatever” isn’t rude.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@MrGrimm888 The conversation is entirely casual. I appreciate your personal story anyway. Your situation is similar to mine at work. I have some people who are of higher rank than me, and I have to stay within my rank at work. But then after work, we goof around like we are friends, calling each other hilarious names and stuff. My workplace is not too formal though, so the boundary between people may not be as clear-cut as your situation.

@everyone thank you for your insight. The full context of this conversation is that it’s between a man and a troll who posed as his friend, but the man didn’t know the woman was a troll. The aim of the troll was to get the man to say as many embarrassing things as possible, then use his words against him. I was just making sure that the troll didn’t unfairly label the man as rude.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Mimishu1995 -That troll sounds a bit sociopathic.

SEKA's avatar

I find that with the way “whatever” is being used lately, it is very dismissive and I find it as impolite as telling me to “shut up”. A sigh usually indicates that they don’t like what you’ve said; but they also cannot verbalize why they don’t like it, so they want you to drop it. Yes, it can come across as rude

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