How many bites does it take you to eat one "bite sized" candy bar, like what we give out at Halloween?

For me it depends on the candy.

Kit Kat: I break it in half and eat it with 4 bites.

Almond Joy: 2 bites

Reese’s mini-cup: 3 bites.

I could eat any of the above with one bite, but since the only time I eat any of those is just before Halloween, I try to savor my pancreas-punishing treats.

Bob Hodges: There’s two bulls standing on top of a mountain. The younger one says to the older one: “Hey pop, let’s say we run down there and fuck one of them cows”. The older one says: “No son. Lets walk down and fuck ‘em all”.

When I was young we only had rabbit ears for TV and the locals went to the ant races (LSD peeps know what I am talking about) at 1AM. But we had a VCR, and my mother, being the well rounded person she was had only stolen 3 VHS tapes from the video store. One was the Breakfast Club, one was Weird Science, and the other was Colors. I watched all of them hundreds of times.

Bob is right and I treat my candy the same way. If you nibble you get 80% the flavor but you spread it out over 20 bites. Enjoy it, swirl it around in your mouth. Only idiots run down the hill and stick your dick in a sour-patch kid and call it a day. Gotta nibble those toes and slowly work your way up to the belly.

I’m sorry I asked.

Two, but three is more comfortable.

Usually two. Depends on the candy.

The grands ate all my candy!!!!