Do you consider this wrong or sketchy?

It doesn’t matter what I think – YOU obviously think it is sketchy.

Yes, you should ask him about it if it bothers you. Otherwise it is going to go from a little bother to a big problem.

Be prepared that you might not like the answer he gives you.

Also, it is not nice to be a snoop.

@elbanditoroso In her defense, using his Google is not snooping in my book.
Although it sounds a little stalkerish as I read on.

Here’s a second for just asking him, communicate!

Sounds like beginner’s gaslighting to me. Get you off guard. Get you feeling insecure. The better to control you with.

@Dutchess_III
Exactly that is what I think that he is doing, playing a game to get to her and control IS the issue.
Now that she knows this I wouldn’t say a thing just ignore the games and do you own thing from now on.
Start distancing yourself from him because if he actually cared about you he wouldn’t “play” you like a fool.
You need better men around you than this one, thank him for showing you who he really is..a schmuck!

OP has asked this same exact question under another name.

Crap. Is that Heather 13 or Honey Buns again?

Not sure of the past users name.

He obviously still carries a torch for her.

This is great news! You’ve just found out your boyfriend’s a piece of shit. Any man who disrespects you like that is a looser. This is awesome because now you don’t need to waste a single additional minute on the guy. Just walk away and find a guy who treats you with respect.

Do not play into his games, get jealous or any of that crap. He’s trying to manipulate you, but he’s too stupid to be good at it. There are billions of men on this planet and plenty of them know how to treat a woman.

@gorillapaws -Yep.

Who cares if this is a troll. (if you smell a troll, flag it. Pitchforks aren’t helpful.) The question is legitimate and can help future users who have similar questions.

I’m with @gorillapaws. There are too many red flags here. Yes this is sketchy. I wouldn’t trust him.

It sounds like he isn’t entirely over her yet. That doesn’t mean he is cheating on you, just that she is still in his thoughts. I would agree with @elbanditoroso and talk to him about it. Be prepared for him to accuse you of snooping. Don’t let that rattle you or really even put you on the defensive. Just tell him it popped up when you were doing a search. I would also be cautious of accusing him of anything. Just tell him what happened and ask if he is still not over her. If he tries saying he is entirely over her, tell him it bothers you when he raves about her and now you find searches on his computer about her. Again…not accusing, just explaining your view.

I would have to say something to him, but also, understand that if you stay with him, and he wants to continue whatever it is that he’s doing, he will continue it, he’ll just be more careful to hide it. Also, chances are he will swear up and down that he’s not searching for her, not interested in her, etc.

@Jonsblond The reason I care that this is a troll is because some jellies spend a lot of time and effort on their answers, including me. If this crap keeps happening, people will stop participating.

@seawulf575 it’s so weird especially when they where not even in a relationship, this looks obsessive on his behalf to me.

@Bellezzz On the surface it seems obsessive to me as well. But apparently they had some sort of relationship since they are Facebook friends. Maybe not sexual, but at least friends. And it might be that he was, and possibly still is, hoping for it to go further. But that is why I would recommend talking to him and giving him a chance to air his feelings.

@seawulf575, I agree they where working on a project for a couple of months, but I do feel a bitterness on his behalf , and what does not match is that according to him he is the one that told her that he just did not want anything with her because her head was full of spiderwebbes, basically that she was too much of a flirt, diva and was not emotionally stable.

So why would he still be obsessed with her or sound bitter/stinged when he mentions all of this if he was the one that realized that she was not a good choice for him after all. Maybe theres more to this story that I dont know.

@Bellezzz I think there is more to his story

@Bellezzz I suspect there are a couple things at play with him with this wonder woman. The first and possibly biggest is his self esteem. His story of breaking up with her and creating personality flaws may be true, but it doesn’t seem to ring true with his continued efforts to keep her in his life. The continued efforts and the “sour grapes” reaction seem to point towards him either getting rejected by her or he never asked her out for fear of rejection or because he didn’t feel he was in her league. Either way it comes back his own self-esteem.
The bigger concern for all this seems, to me anyway, the question of whether he is with our jelly friend because he truly likes her or because he figures she is good enough for him, but he still wants wonder woman. That ends up being a bad relationship over time.

@seawulf575 That’s right, and I feel as if he even wants me to be her sometimes.

This women took dance classes, my memory is so good I recall him telling me I danced with a girl from so and so country and she danced great ( it was more than obvious he was referring to her).

Then he tells me why don’t you find a nicer job like managing properties job, wouldn’t you like that ( Guess what this is HER job in that luxury residential building).

The other days I was mentioning to him about this blogger from YouTube that happens to have this girl same nationality and he says : “oh the skinny girl that lives in so and so building at the beach( guess what he was referring to the building where this woman worked in.

So to me all of this screams obsession, this woman impacted him a lot, and he is not over the fact that he thought that she would be his perfect match, when he first met her( which leads to the conclusion that he Idealized her way too much and found out she was not what he thought or wanted.

I understand that when this occurs it could bother a lot, especially when you had illusions with this person.

It’s possible that he is into her and she is not into him, @Bellezzz. She may have other boyfriends or other guys interested in her, and even if she doesn’t, she may think your boyfriend is nothing she wants.

I’m Facebook friends with an ex or two of mine. I’ve also Googled an ex or two out of curiosity. Anyone care to make some snap judgments and condemnations?

I’ve tried to find exes too. But I wouldn’t let Rick know. And I certainly wouldn’t talk about how good looking and wonderful they were to him.

@seawulf575 oh my god, he searched for her again on google, I’m still working on his laptop and have to use google and she appears searched for as most recent like 2 days ago, plus then he is searching for me and my facebook.

I would love to know what is going on in here? I’m sorry but this does not look normal.

You are then one closest to the situation. Only you can sus out what his motivations might be. If it feels wrong to you, then it probably is wrong.
Is there something from keeping you from walking away?
And also, quit spying on him.

I think you are on point, it’s like an ego thing going on with him, I actually told this situation to a good friend of mine that studied psychology and she says that she feels that there is more to this story, like maybe they did not have a relationship but since they saw each other everyday during the time he worked on the building that she works in perhaps, he got very excited about this whole situation with her and went too deep in based on looks and like you said the fact that every rich/ millionaire men was chasing after her, he somehow felt the winner that she indeed liked him, flirt with him. And went out with him.

But then he realized she was not what he imagined, she was just looks, a diva, and shallow perhaps.

Another thing he told me is that they almost had sex, mind you when he met this girl her ego was really hurt, her boyfriend had just dumped her for another woman and then married that woman right away, so I bet this was a low blow for this girl. So in my mind heartbroken women (some) tend to do this thing of looking for affection just to alleviate their hurt ego. So one night they went out they went to my boyfriends apt, drink wine, dance and almost had sex BUT according to my boyfriend he rejected her, cause when they first went out she cried to him and told him “ please don’t play with me or treat me like that man or men did. So this is why he rejected her and they did not end up having sex.

And then the day after this when they saw each other at work he recalls that she gave him this look of hatred and he knew that it was not going any further, like if she was really pissed off. Then they grew apart, then started talking again, but it just did not go anywhere at all. I guess she lost interest in him after what happened and he realized he was getting to hot and heavy with her and she was just emotionally unavailable plus very hurt about her being dumped by her ex.

I’m in shock right now cause there is an event that I want my boyfriend and I to go to for a long time now and I signed up for it in facebook events, and she happens to be going to this same event as well

@lucillelucillelucille UPDATE: Here we go again, he mentioned her again, but it was my kind of my fault cause we were talking about having chemistry with someone, and I told him the story of a good friend of mine, and he had the exact same happen to him, except that he was telling me that he was connected emotionally to her, that they had chemistry but they had a deal he would not have sex with her due to the fact that she asked for it because she was vulnerable because her boyfriend at that time broke up with her, left her for this other girl and got married little after breaking up with her.

So he has the nerve to explicitly tell me, she was in a bra and panties with this amazing body, and he had boxers on, they were kissing, cuddling and nothing else happened because they made a deal they wouldn’t have sex until a little more ahead.

And again tells me with an insisting manner, that this is really precious, that she had a whole bunch of men after her, she has this amazing body of working out at the gym, this work position, etc etc, and he always seems frustrated or almost bitter when TALKING ABOUT IT, about it, I wonder why!! They had nothing serious, just going out and getting to know each other.

I think he is somewhat frustrated because he did want to have sex with her but due to respect he did not. He sounded intense about this, like somewhat bitter.

Jesus Christ. Get rid of him. He is a thoughtless, selfish, narcissistic ass wipe who doesn’t care about you or your feelings.