Why can't I lie and play games when it comes to romance?

No you are not wrong. Sounds like you keep being attracted to the wrong type.

No, it’s not okay to lie in romance, imo. That is the surest way to miscommunicate.
But, it may take you longer to find your mate, weeding thru the liars.
Why do you think people wait so long to get married these days, if at all?!

I was pretty lonely in romance thru my teens and early 20’s, it was really hard to find a good man, because they were all such ‘boys’ at that age.

I’m not sure what you’re expecting people to divulge. Initially, no one is going to broadcast all the shitty things about themselves unless they never want to get a date.
What are your intentions anyway?
If any of these words come up when one is just starting to date, I wouldn’t blame someone for running away: Marriage,kids,settling down,commitment,money and here’s another one….......sex.
Dating is when you find out whether or not YOU even like THEM enough to spend any amount of time with them.
If you find out they have any sociopathic or narcissistic traits, run.
Value yourself enough to not waste time with low quality men.

People tend to lie to people who tolerate lies otherwise it is a one-up conversation. Act like a doormat you will be treated like a doormat.

You’re not wrong to want and require honesty, trust and transparency. It may not be common, but it’s worth it. It makes a massive positive difference to have that in a relationship.

If you can be up-front about requiring people you date to be honest with you, and be ok with some (even most?) people leaving when they hear that, it can save you a lot of time, effort, and upset.

It is ok if most people leave at that point, because you don’t want a dishonest relationship, and it saves time otherwise wasted engaging with people who you don’t want to be involved with. There are honest people – it’s just harder for them to find each other if they keep wasting time with dishonest people.

It amazes me how so many people get this relationship thing so fundamentally wrong.
None of that shit matters, the people who turn out to be our partners began as friends, just that.
Thinking of love & kissy kissy time only complicates things, that stuff just happens naturally…so let it.

Romance is an intimate thing. It goes beyond just a hit-it-and-git-it. Want to get laid on a one night stand? Lie all you want. Want something that goes deeper and longer and is much more meaningful? You need to give and expect honesty. We are all human and we all lie. But little white lies, like a woman saying she weighs 125# when she actually weighs 135#, are basically meaningless. But if you want a lasting relationship, you have to have honesty as a base. If you don’t, everything you are building is based on a lie. When that lie gets exposed (and they usually do), you now have a situation of one or both parties being hurt and distrust begins to sprout.

Because telling lies and playing games is dishonest, and sooner or later, the truth will be found out.

I agree with @ucme.

I think your problem is that you rush romance. You just meet this dude you are into and you decide “yeah, he will be my lover from now on”, and then you run with it. That is not how relationship works, you can’t just decide you love someone and expect them to love you back in just some days. Relationship has to unfold itself naturally.

No one likes to be rushed into a relationship. No one likes to reveal what they do privately at night to someone they only know for 3 days. That isn’t what “honesty” is about at all. The men will either back away slowly, or if you are unfortunate enough, they turn out to be narcissists and they play along with your “honesty”. And narcissists love people who reveal everything about themselves. That’s right, most people who want to start “romance” after a few days are narcissists.

If rushing is your definition of honesty then you need to seriously reflect on yourself why you need to rush.

So the secret to successful relationships is skilled deception? That is the trait which will deliver you from a lifetime of loneliness? I tell you truthfully that one is going to require some thought, but my instinct off the bat is to declare the supposition depressing enough to endow you with the aura enabling the realization of those expectations.