Is calling a woman a "baby mama" descriptive or insulting?

I think it’s stupid and disrespectful. It’s removing oneself from any type of relationship with their childs parent. Why not just say “my ex girlfriend/boyfriend “?

Most ridiculous description evar.
What does it even mean…
I think I’ve seen a similar one for the papa’s….

It’s an insulting description.

Horrible term.

It’s ghetto af.

Insulting, or not, it’s an apt description.

I feel it’s insulting.

Just for my information, @MrGrimm888, how is it apt, to you?

Just to add, there is a male equivalent “baby daddy”. Do people view that one similarly?

@rebbel . Well. It’s a description of a female, who is the mother of a certain child.

Baby daddy, is also apt.

@MrGrimm888 I get that, but are the words baby mama descriptive of that?
I see it as weird choice of words.

”..who is the mother of a certain child.”
Also called, mother.

I’ve never hear the term used in a positive way.

I see it as a description as most who are labeled as such had NO relationship with the “baby daddy” other than to screw & get preggers. I see many a young girl bragging that she’s a “baby mama”...obviously, she doesn’t feel insulted.

@rebbel . It’s a term used for people who aren’t married, or together. One is the “baby daddy,” one is the “baby mamma.”

I’m not condoning the rhetoric. I’m just saying that it’s accurate.

@MrGrimm888 Gotcha.
Since it seems you know about this phenomenon; do the parents themselves use these words too, when they refer to each other, or is it only used by third parties?

Both.

I am living in the American South. The term is thrown around, quite often.

I find it far less offensive, than the “N” word. But I hear that all of the time.

@rebbel As strange as it might sound, it’s as close as they get to being civil with each other. They do call each other the reference to their face. The saddest situation I have seen of it was when a 3 y/o called her daddy “just my baby daddy”. She had heard it more than once & picked up on the term.

”

Very condescending use of words.
Something you’d hear from Goldilocks :D

It’s just human rhetoric.

I hate both baby mama and baby daddy. I know some people who say it think it’s cute, I think it’s just stupid and trashy sounding.

To me it signifies that even though the couple is not together, they both have a strong tie to the child(ren).

I imagine there are sub-cultures where it’s used all the time and not seen as derogative.

Absent any more details Baby Mama is very descriptive that the person using this verbiage is judging this mother and doing so in a derogatory manner. Not knowing this mother and her situation I would not be able to apply an opinion as to where this persons use of that term was descriptive or insulting. It could be neither or both but it does tell me without question that the person was indeed judging this mother and I don’t know if this person was judging a singular moment of this mother or do they know the whole story and the supporting details why they felt enough to use a very derogatory term to describe this mother. Even IF there was supporting reason(s) that this mother was not meeting basic standard of motherhood, calling her a Baby Mama says more to me about this person using the term than the mother herself. It could even be a term of endearment that the mother and this person use all the time. Based on the information provided only the mom and this person knows.

@Vignette The OP can and will correct me if I’m wrong but I think they were talking about the term in general usage not a specific case. It is a term that is used in some areas or cultures to refer to the other parent of one’s child whom one is not married to.

@MrGrimm888: It’s an apt description of what? Someone being a certain type of mother? What type?

I don’t think it’s intent is insulting and I hear men using the baby mama descriptor often, so people don’t think it’s their current gf.

If they say ‘oh, that’s the ignorant baby mama’, that’s obviously intended to be insulting. Just vernacular to most people I know.

@janbb is correct, I was was speaking in general – not with a particular person in mind. The context was that I read an article in a magazine yesterday where they quote a person who used the term ‘baby mama’ in a very neutral way. I had never heard it used neutrally before.

Again, I think it depends on context and culture but I agree with @MrGrimm888 that those who use it, don’t mean it in a denigrating way.

@jca2 My guess, and this is only a guess, is that it is a shortening from baby’s mama so that, She’s my baby’s mama” became “She’s the baby mama.” I din’t think it’s meant to imply anything about the quality of the mother other than she’s not married to the father of that baby.

The only way I’ve heard it has been in a negative way, so I am hoping @MrGrimm888 can clarify what he was referring to, @janbb.

I’ve heard it used in a derogatory way. And I’ve heard it used as an endearment.

Either way, as @Demosthenes already wrote, it’s ghetto AF.

I think it is similar to the seventies when we said, “My old man”. It is simply phraseology of the era.

I certainly would be upset if someone called me a “baby mama”!

But you still have dada with you.

It’s the language of people whose life ambition is to appear on the Maury Povich show.

I think it is a reasonable description of a woman with whom someone has had a child but not had a committed relationship (hence, ex-... does not fit).

It is not an offensive term to me and I find no need for people to explain their past relationships, or lack thereof. If a child is the only thing that ties people together, so be it.

It would not seem like a fitting description of me coming from my husband, for example. But this is just my opinion.

The word “ghetto” is far more offensive, in my opinion.

It’s stupid-sounding and disrespectful. Go ahead and use it if you consider yourself a gansta thug.

Good grief. It’s just terminology. I don’t think it is used to insult anyone.

I don’t think the people using it are necessarily using it in a derogatory way, it’s that a lot of us look down on the situation in the culture where the term is used.

Like a jelly above said, it sounds ghetto, and part of the culture that uses it is that it is common for people to have children while not married, the child is usually unplanned, and the children are growing up in not very good circumstances all too often.

Not to be confused with single people who choose to have a child and it’s planned, and can afford to take care of the baby and simply didn’t have a husband, but want to have children. An upper middle class single mom isn’t being called a baby mama by her peers, or the man who fathered her child. Not likely anyway.

@JLeslie Actually a lot of slang is used by middle class white people, here anyway. The man who uses it the most is 65 lol, rich-ish and hilarious. Its used sarcastically.

It’s just rhetoric. Do you think African American people call each other, the “N” word, because they think they are what the word means? I know it’s not.

I’m with Cupcake and MrGrimm.

Using the terms thug and ghetto are more offensive and downright racist.

@Jonsblond That’s why I erased it before publishing my first answer. I had written ghetto, and got rid of it, because I was afraid that was offensive. Then when I saw another jelly use it, I went ahead and wrote the answer. I’m not sure why ghetto is offensive, but I knew someone would find the stereotyping offensive.

@KNOWITALL You said he is using it sarcastically. Not everyone uses it sarcastically. When he says it with sarcasm I think he’s kind of making fun of the people who use it regularly as part of their vernacular.

@JLeslie Many black people find it offensive. I respect their opinion.

@Jonsblond I respect their opinion too. Ghetto technically doesn’t mean only black areas, There can be Italian ghettos, Jewish ghettos, but I agree it is often most associated with black people when not defined. Thing is, when I say ghetto in this instance, it has nothing to do with African Americans as an entire group, it has to do with socio-economically poor people who use that slang. They could be any race. Anyway, I’ll refrain from using it if they find it offensive (I might ask a black friend of mine). It doesn’t matter what the technical definition is, I wouldn’t want to offend people.

@JLeslie Look who you’re talking to. You think my friends are mocking black people when the say baby mama? Like I would tolerate that shit, let alone giggle about it?!

@KNOWITALL I wouldn’t say mocking, but you’re saying they aren’t using the word seriously. Is everyone who uses it, using it sarcastically? Maybe that’s what I’m missing.

I don’t think you would just sit by if you thought someone was mocking black people. I know you better than that.

@JLeslie You know the slang Boomer, that young people use for older people? It can be used disparagingly, and usually is, but if a young friend says it with humor and obvious teasing tone, its not insulting, its funny.

Baby mama is just another thing, like ‘cash me outside’. Theres a funny movie named Baby Mama, its just slang humor.

Thanks, that hurt my feelings that you think I’d allow that.

@KNOWITALL I get it, he’s just using the term in a funny way, but do you think some people also use it in a serious way?

I think that can be very tricky. Like when Margaret Cho (the comedian) mimics her mom’s Asian accent. Funny when she does it, but then if a white person does it some people get offended. maybe some people are offended even when she does it. Humor is always tricky.

I don’t know what “cash me outside“ is.

LMAO at “cash me outside”. GA.

Well. Context, is always important, with language.

I just don’t see how accuracy, is offensive. What would be the preferred phrase?

The preferred phrase for what, @MrGrimm888?

Baby Momma?

If she’s the child’s mother, she’s the Baby Momma.

She’s the/a mother.
Plain and simple.

^Correct. So, what’s the big deal?

The deal is, why call a woman with children a baby momma, when there’s a very standard word for (without any possibility of sounding derogatory), namely; mother.

Baby mama sounds like a machine to me. Someone who just squats out babies.

I guess all I can say, is that it isn’t inappropriate, in my neck of the woods…

I suppose I should add, “Mother,” is the most respected name in our language. To me… I hold no higher opinion, of anyone…

My Mom, is a saint. There is nobody more important than her…NOBODY. Mothers, are the glue of humanity. IMO…

@JLeslie @Cupcake Excerpt from Dr Phil with a tiny little white girl who thinks she’s bad…haha! It was a whole social media thing for awhile.

https://youtu.be/ZrtSOTGNqA8

And no, people in my age group grew up with rap, rap lyrics, rap stars-it’s part of our culture now. I’m not saying there’s a small percentage of people who may use things like that to disparage, but it’s pretty common now if you look at urban dictionary.

I don’t think we even use mama in America typically when talking about our own mothers to other people. I call my mom, mom, mommy, and ma, but when I talk about her to people who aren’t relatives I use mom or mother. Although, I do remember the show That’s My Mama, so maybe in parts of black culture, but none of the lack people I know were using it. Even my Spanish friends would use mother or mommy (madre or momi in Spanish)

Question: would you refer to a mom who is married to the father as a baby mama? Or, only a single mother?

I have one adult daughter who calls me mama. It doesn’t bother me, but it was her idea not mine. My other kids (all adult) call me mom. I agree with @chyna. Baby momma sounds like somebody who just squats out babies with no commitment to anybody.

That’s not a polite or complementary description.

@snowberry So, if she were talking to me she would say, “my mama likes to vacation in Aruba.” She would refer to you as mama when talking to another person?

@JLeslie I don’t know. I have never heard her speak about me to other people, or if I have I wasn’t paying attention. She’d better not call me her baby mama though! LOL

It’s a term, for unmarried, otherwise separated couples. A lot of times, there is hostility, between them. Understandably. There may be some negativity, in the phrase. I am not denying that. But it’s an appropriate description of the “baby mamma,” or “baby daddy.” I don’t understand the problem…

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=baby%20mama

@MrGrimm888 There is more than one problem, but one of the obvious ones that stands out to me that I don’t think was mentioned yet is the bad grammar. In English we don’t say baby mama, we say the baby’s mama, if mama is going to be the word used to describe a female parent. That’s part of why it sounds ghetto, because it sounds uneducated, or like slang.

Edit: Think about it this way, if the phrase was young mom, or sleepy mommy. The first time I heard baby momma it wasn’t clear to me at all what it meant. Baby was where there adjective would usually go.

Holy lord, I can’t believe folks here are still trying to analyze this. There’s nothing to it. It’s just slang.

I’m talking about grammar, and then I also have a bunch of typos in the same paragraph. Lol.