When my kids were younger I restricted them to two activities during the week. My son typically chose two sports and often wanted to drop out of those. The rule in our house is if it is a team sport, you have to finish the season. After that you never have to play it again. That seemed sufficient for him, and he still has typically two activities. Right now it is managing various sports teams at school and taking SCUBA lessons. Oh, and taking care of babies at church.
My daughter at that time was interested in theater so it was a constant battle to keep her down to just two (she wanted piano lessons, and jazz and tap lessons, and to hit every audition, plus she liked kickball and church basketball and Girl Scouts). In her case we gradually allowed her to add a few more as long as her grades stayed all As and her health stayed good.
Nowadays she is active in sports (usually only one at a particular time but sometimes two), church, a school-based social group, an honors club, and gets As, and will deliberately schedule sleep time so she gets enough. She is very organized and makes sure her homework gets done, too (often at the gym or on the bus waiting for her team to play). However, as long as she is that busy she is not allowed to get a job more complicated than periodic baby-sitting.
I have never scheduled either of the kids into something that they didn’t ask for (or in my son’s case, demand). Since there is only one driver (well, 1 1/2 – my daughter has her permit and drives to school and church but I have to be with her), we have to double check all scheduling before anyone can add another activity to the list, and above all, grades stay up and health stays good!
As to family dinners – we always eat together. Sometimes we eat late, after everyone is home, and sometimes we eat early so I can get everyone to whatever activity there is. We also go to sports events as a family, so while 1 child is playing (and pantomiming that they will DIE if they don’t get a blue Gatorade right now), the rest of the family is watching. Then we can talk about it on the way home.
One of the things we always have to consider is that one child is a major go-getter with established career plans, while the other is bipolar and very immature emotionally. So what we try to do is encourage and allow activities that will make each child happy and will develop their own talents and interests. At the same time we monitor them to make sure they stay healthy, happy and productive at school. Well, maybe we don’t worry quite so much about my son’s productivity. It is more a case of making sure he doesn’t throw any more desks at teachers and that he does actual work at school each day.
Saturday nite, Aug. 30