Is it possible to permanently delete a Fluther profile?

Go to the “My Account” button between Help and Chat at the very top of the page.
There are delete instructions there.

A lot of people have given you a lot of caring advice over the years, leaving because you don’t always agree with it seems hasty and I’ll-considered. I hope you will rethink this.

That will not delete or change any of you answers or questions you asked only your account profile. Sorry to see you go.

@Tropical_Willie My questions and comments will remain up?

@canidmajor It’s not at all about me not agreeing with the advice. I’m very open to advice or I wouldn’t ask for it. It’s the fact that I have asked a specific question and instead of staying on topic, it turned into a judgement fest about my past. There were completely off topic remarks made. I let the first one go and very briefly responded, hoping it would be dropped. But it was again brought up. I’m comfortable with all of my life choices and I feel solid in them. It took me a long time to be able to accept myself and my personal choices. I used to need validation before taking the leap. What I don’t feel comfortable with is having things brought up that are irrelevant to the topic just so a person can air out their opinions and try to make it sound like I am jumping into things without thinking of my own children. If there were doubts on my life choices, why not pm me instead of airing out dirty laundry in an unrelated forum?

@ItalianPrincess1217, after over ten years on fluther, you must understand by now that people will consider the whole person when responding to questions. It is done to show that we recognize the asker as a whole person. I think it’s a shame that you saw attacks and judgement where only concern was displayed.

No, it is not possible to totally delete your whole existence here; your questions and answers will remain on.
Then again, one can just stop visiting and/or participating.
As long as one doesn’t use their real name it’s near impossible for anyone to ever connect dots (Q&A’s to member name to real name).

That would be my course of action, at least.
Anonymously, without attention, I would stealthily disappear.

Suggestion. In place of deleting your account, keep it open and step away for a while. Take some time to calm down. One thing for sure is that many jellies are judgmental. Many don’‘t mean to be and will deny it if you call them on it. Step away until you have a different question and then come back to ask your next question. Actually, nobody’s opinion counts except yours (and maybe your bf’s) when it concerns your personal life. Attacking others seems to be what people do best now days. Ignore them and continue with your life

@SEKA Great advice, thank you. There’s a lot to love about this site but there are times when I feel as though some people go back years into my questions just to bring up sore subjects. I try to remember that I don’t need to react and their opinion about my personal life shouldn’t matter if I know I’m doing the absolute best I can do.

@ItalianPrincess1217 What you see as ”...some people go back years into my questions just to bring up sore subjects.” I see as people remembering you and being concerned for your well being. You judge them pretty harshly for a group that only wants the best for you and your children.

Never mind.

@ItalianPrincess1217 Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve stepped back more than once. When I came back, the offender had a totally different attitude and was almost “nice” to me. I find it sad that I need to step away in order to want to stay, but this place seems to draw me back in because there are some truly wonderful people here. Actually, some of those wonderful people are the same ones who are the PITA that often makes me want to leave! HA

When you work, you take a vacation in order to rejuvenate your desire to continue working. I think we all need a vacation from Fluther every now and then as well. You know what it best for you, so you’re the only one who can decide what is best for you. I suggest that you don’t react out of anger, log out and close Fluther for the day, wait a week or however long it takes to feel better, then log back in and you’ll see things much different for a while

@canidmajor Sometimes it’s hard for me to know the intention of some of the remarks. I tend to assume the worst, especially when it involves my kids. Nobody here has more concern for their well being than myself. I simply don’t want anyone thinking they aren’t priority over everything else. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I know I’ve made the right choices for them. I can’t worry about making others see that.

I have taken two long breaks from Fluther. I once left for 19 months. Only the death of a beloved member brought me back. Another time, I left for a year. Both breaks did me good.

I saw the question that I believe has brought up unpleasant feelings for you. I understand your displeasure. When our children are involved, we are very touchy for myriad reasons. I wish you all the best whatever you decide.

I have made some honest friends here. I’ve met them in real life and like them. There are some very good people here. There are also some jerks. As they say, that’s life.

@Hawaii_Jake Thank you :)

Agreed. We might could help you. You’re anonymous. Let us know what is bothering you. We might be able to help you.

Do what you know is best for your children, fuck everybody else as they don’t know your children and their opinion doesn’t count. As in real life, the only opinion that really matters is your own

Remember, though, that any question you ask, you’re going to get a more accurate response if people know more about you. It’s similar to therapy. If you are not honest and accurate with what you tell the therapist, and not giving the therapist all of the details, the outcome and the advice won’t be as accurate.

You can flag the Q, or ask the mods. Back in the days of Auggie she had some empathy for requests like this. I doubt mods now will help you with something like this, but I might be wrong in my assumption. Partly, because I don’t think they feel empowered to do it. That’s not really their fault. I don’t know if anyone is in charge like Auggie was.

[Mod says] Yes, you can delete your profile – but no, that won’t remove your questions and answers. And it’s not for moderators’ lack of empathy. Rather, it’s a question of fairness and programming.

Deleting all the questions you asked here over the years would mean the work that went into answering them was for nothing. Fluther users generally put a lot of care into their responses, and most feel varying degrees of frustration at having their posts removed. Some threads might help others in the future, or be cherished by jellies who consider you a friend. If we went on to remove your answers on other people’s threads, some exchanges there would be confusing enough to render large parts unreadable. It seems unfair, then, to value the needs of the one person who leaves Fluther over those of the many who stay.

Additionally, the option of vanishing people simply isn’t built into the admin system any of us moderators have access to. Augustlan didn’t, either. Ben can theoretically disappear a user. However, judging from the care the founders took to make this impossible for moderators, it is highly unlikely that he would. Maybe in an international emergency.

That said, there are some ways to help make your questions and answers less accessible. Deleting your profile can certainly help, as well as using the “private” function on your profile page or requesting a name change. We’re happy to help with all of those.

I’m glad you decided to stick around for now.

I’m glad you decided to stay. Whenever someone brings up children you take the risk of others going off topic. It’s sad. The same thing happened to me so I chose to take a break. I asked the community to help me come up with some replies (clever or funny) to a religious acquaintance who said my son needed Jesus. Some people became fixated on how the subject even came up with this person and told me it should never have happened, which wasn’t my question.

You are right Princess. You know your children better than anyone. It’d be nice if people stayed on topic but they won’t.

^If the thread is in Social, it seems like there are only two outcomes. It goes off the rails, or burns itself out…