Is it okay to ask to spend New Years Eve with significant other?

I don’t think there’s any problem with asking, but I would recommend doing so in a low pressure way that makes it absolutely clear that you know you might be asking for too much right now and that she can say “no” without incurring any negative consequences. Maybe something like:

“Hey, I had this random thought, and tell me if I’m being a little excessive here, but if you’re into it, I was thinking I could catch a cheap flight out to see you and your kids just for New Year’s Eve and maybe New Year’s Day. I don’t want to make things overly complicated or intrude on your time with your kids, so I totally get it if you don’t want to. But I’d love to see you that week, and New Year’s seemed like it might be the best option. What do you think?”

You know your relationship better than I do, so calibrate your answer accordingly. But I think something like that would come across as reasonably low pressure while still making your preferences known.

What @SavoirFaire said.

You don’t tell us what color your SO put on this trip with her kids. Was it. “I’d like to spend holiday time with my kids” or was it, “this is a really good chance for me to spend mother daughter time, it might be my last meaningful chance before she is completely launched.”

And, you don’t mention if she ever asked you about joining her at all, or if she just told you, “I am spending the week with my kids, see you on the 3rd”.

Depending on how it was communicated determines if your question is intrusive or not.

One one hand if she wanted you there I would think she would have tossed that option out for you. I mean you have been dating over a year so by now if your relationship was truly serious, I myself would think you would be inseparable and we would not be having this conversation.

But as they say, it never hurts to ask and when you do you will be sending a pretty strong signal that she means that much to you to want to be with her.

Thank you all.
As for how the trip was colored or proposed there was no pre-talk. She didn’t discuss it other than that is what she was planning on doing. She did not mention or throw out any thoughts of potentially joining because logistically it is not easy. She doesn’t tend to think that way as I have come to learn. There have been other things like this over the year and once she realizes I would like to attend something with her, she is okay with it. I suspect it comes from her having been in a marriage where her EX didn’t value her or want her along unless his mistress was unavailable. She learned to just do things on her own and not ask him.

Yes, we has been somewhat inseparable on weekends and summer vacations together since we met.

I have been fine with giving her space and space is really good for everyone in a relationship.

I simply would like to see the New Years in with her.

Have you considered giving her a call to tell her how much you’re missing her? Then you could throw in that you have some time to kill before getting back home and tell her that you just can’t wait until the 3rd to see her because you miss her too much. Then suggest that you’d like to join her so you 2 can return home together. Be sure to add in to the conversation that you don’t want to interfere in her time with her daughter but you really need to be with her. The worst she can say is no

Thanks @SEKA

I would prefer to let her know that I would like to do this in a face to face discussion. I plan on bringing the subject up when I see her tomorrow or Friday when get together for the weekend.
She just booked her ticket back for Friday the 3rd, but I more than likely need to come back prior for my work commitments.
I always make sure she knows I never want to interfere with her time with her kids. Especially since they live a bit away from her. We each respect each others times with our own Adult children. She offers me the same respect with my Adult son and daughter.
Much Appreciated!

If you can’t communicate honestly after a year, it doesn’t bode well for the relationship. Why not just tell her what you would like and ask if that would work for her or if it would impose on the time she wants with her kids? Don’t get upset if the answer is no though and maybe plan a special post-New Year’s Eve when you get back together.

@janbb Our communication style is very good. I was merely looking for validation that it was not too much to ask. She also never assumed that I would be able to meet her.
We are always calm and respectful to each other. I suppose the fact that I posted this means I was over thinking.
I do not doubt we will figure something out without any hard feelings.

Thank you so much

@Forever_Free I wasn’t implying anything – hope you know that. Just saying that honest talk is always the best. Sounds like it will be fine whatever you decide. And congrats on having a good relationship!!

Yes,it’s ok.
Even if she can’t make it, it’s nice to be asked :)

@janbb no worries. Nothing personal taken. You were covering all bases and points. Communication is a two way street and so critical for a good relationship with anyone

If you want to spend NYE with her, tell her that.

So??? Did you ask yet!?

@chyna Yes. Denver bound on NYE

@Forever_Free Yay! Can a few friends crash the party?

Yay!!

@janbb indeed. The more the better