What secrets are your pets keeping from you?

“I am the king of the castle. I have trained Gail well and either I was a wonderful teacher or she was a quick study. My life is perfect. I get most of the bed when I feel like it.”

My Poof’s secret is the stash of plastic she’s hiding. In my last apartment, it was under her duck bathmat… a collection of Werther’s and juice box straw wrappers. I haven’t found it in the new place… but she has one. Oh, yes… she does.

Syz’s cat could tell us why she stole large pieces of fried chicken.

Jack the Pug is wondering why the three boys who live here stopped leaving their underclothes on the ground.* Jack would also like to give a shout out to the makers of Legos for providing him such a tasty snack that is always available, anytime night and day, throughout the house, for a quick pick-me-up.

*Answer: Mom got tired of buying new undergarments because Jack the Pug ate all of the old ones.

When I had a couple of pet dolphins, many years ago, I remember accidentally hearing one of them telepathically saying to the other, “We finally have Jack completely trained. If we want him to toss us some food, all we have to do is jump through this hoop!”

August 30, 2008, 1:03 PM EDT

@JackAdams…You had pet dolphins? LUCKY!

I didn’t OWN them, but I was responsible for their care and training, while I was living in the Hawaiian islands, many moons ago.

They were more intelligent than I, and are the most intelligent creatures on this planet, with the possible exception of the octopus.

August 30, 2008, 2:06 PM EDT

Flower: I have every hair tie you have ever lost.

Mushroom: He has no secrets. He expresses everything.

Jelly: The reason I will only cuddle with you in the morning, when you are in bed, is because I think it’s funny when I put my butt in your face.

Blackberry: I know, that you know, that I know, I have an eating disorder.

Cali: I might be skiddish, but I’m glad you brought me here to live with you.

My cats Chance and Katy: We sit on the kitchen table when you’re not looking. not much of a secret, actually, as we catch them at it all the damn time

Chance: I know the entire house has hardwood floors. I know it upsets you that I manage to find the one rug in the whole house and throw up on it repeatedly. I do this on purpose.

I remember years ago, I had a pet Beagle named, “Krypto,” and one day, while we were seated in front of the TV watching Mister Ed, he suddenly turned to me and said, “Whoever heard of a talking horse? That’s stupid!”

August 30, 2008, 7:47 PM EDT

My pets (4 cats & 2 dogs) have huge parties while I’m away at work.

Also, my kitties are hiding the giant work of art they’re constructing with the socks, underwear, and wash cloths that they constantly carry off.

I suspect mine know something about some missing socks, but I’m still gatherig proof…

My daughter’s guinea pig…she’s plotting to take over the world.

My dog, I’m not sure there is enough going on upstairs to plot or keep a secret – wait! She’s probably a mensa member!!

The cat, that he’s yet to enter the final stage of training all of us.

I don’t know if there are secrets but I am willing to bet that they laugh every time I get up at night naked for a glass of water.

He is thinking “Man I have a lot of dirt on this girl, she would be screwed if I could talk human.” , “But I won’t because she scratches my tummy and feeds me tuna on occasion.”

Memnoch: “I’m so glad she spent all that money on custom upholstery for this chair. It feels GREAT against my claws!”

Midnight: “Tee-hee! She’ll never find that lizard I hid in her closet. But if she does, I love hearing her scream when she finds one of my secret gifts.”

The parties when we’re not home!!! They really can open the cabinets and open up their own cans of food, but the cats are going to continue to wake me up at 5am to feed them and I think they surf the internet, too. lol.

I know my hermit crabs hide their poop in a certain secret location of their choosing…they stash food bits underground too.