In relationships, which do you choose: the one that you love, or the one that loves you?

C) All of the above.

If you can’t get both in the same person, it’s not the right choice.

Well, I wonder, does the one you love have feelings for you? Otherwise there’s no choosing. You could love someone, and they don’t feel the same, then what? :)

well here’s my dilemma:
boy 1 is wonderful and sweet and the feelings are mutual but he has three jobs and for the past four months.. he’s only been able to make time for me once a month. lame.
boy 2 is totally in love with me and i do like him.. but not as much as boy 1. and i feel bad but i dunno. it’s just a dumb teenage girl situation

Neither sounds like a good situation to commit to, but no reason you can’t go on a few dates and see how it develops. Chances are one or the other will develop in to something worth taking more seriously.

how can you get one that don’t love you?

If your feeling are with boy 1—why not stay there? Yeah, it’s not ideal, but he’s working He’s not parading a bunch of other girls in front of you. Have you told him how you feel about not seeing him?

Even if you are with boy 2, you’ll be thinking about boy 1——that’s not fair for the 3 of you.

yes.. I have told him, and apparently it doesn’t change anything. i’ve been “waiting” for him since february and just starting to wonder how long is too long.
and i agree, that’s not fair at all. i’m gonna have to do someeeething.

@General: Do you need to be in an exclusive relationship with either of them? There is nothing wrong with dating more than one guy, as long as everyone is aware that you are doing so. When I was your age, I didn’t commit myself to any one person most of the time, and it was helpful in figuring out what kind of person I did want to commit to.

I’d have to say both or you can forget about being happy.

I’d say both too. If Boy 1 really cares, he’ll make more time for you, an you can let something develop. Choosing Boy 2 just because he’s around more would be a bad call.

Either way, you’re blessed to have such a dilemma.

@stratman: What a nice way of looking at it :)

i think that no matter how busy someone is, if they like you they will make time for you. i think if the guy is not making time (even like an hour several times a week) then he is not trying that hard, and it seems he’s not interested. that’s just my guess. you know if you like someone you MAKE the time for them. even if it’s 11:00 at night or early in morning before work or whatever, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

More words of wisdom from my grandma: “Something better always comes along.” I would go with neither/nor, and hold out.

I dunno the answer to this but in Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk used the narrator to say that the one you love and the one that loves you are never the same person. This has proven true in my life, thus far.

You could always try following the advice of CSNY and Love the one you’re with – which is great in theory, but I doubt it’s really doable….

I’d pick all of the above, if it’s only one you fell like your missing something.

@wildflower: that’s pretty funny because at first, in the details area of the question i put “should i just love the one i’m with?” in reference to that song.. but decided to delete it :p
@randy.. that is a good point, and pretty true in my life as well

well it’s nice to feel loved, but if someone doesn’t love you why waste your time?

What’s your definition of love?

Take your time and be on your own for a while. When it’s right it will be the same person.