How do you get over being in love with your friend?

Cut her off. Save what sanity you have. If it upsets her, she can be the one dumbstruck, and confused. Oh well…

She’ll have to find another guy to move her furniture, and help her through hard times. You’re in the “friend zone.” No benefit for you. All her using you…Happens ALL the time.

Just my opinion…

Accept that she is not into you. If you want to remain friends with her you have to change your mind about what you deep down want your relationship with her to be. It sounds like you have never told her how you feel so I guess part of it is on you. But if you still want her as a friend, you have to move into the friend role. Be happy for her if she is finding joy in life. Try to be there for her when she needs a friend. Accept that she will likely be with other guys and that sometimes she will need to gush or cry about them.

I don’t agree with @MrGrimm888 ‘s harsh words. She hasn’t wronged you in any way since she never indicated she saw you as anything but a friend which is a fact you recognize. However, it is very hard to get over someone you love or are infatuated with while you keep seeing them. I think you need to cool the friendship for a time until you get over her. The kindest way to do this would be to tell her why you need to cool it with her since she hasn’t done anything wrong but if you can’t do that, just start making excuses not to see her or run with her.

I agree with @janbb. You have to tell her before cutting her off like that.

Be unavailable more often. Pursue other interests.
After some time, you might question why you were in love in the first place. If that happens, you’re cured.

Distance yourself in miles and time. Time being most important. Give it at least 6 months.

Tell her exactly how you feel about her & she will distance you immediately. You keep saying that “it’s OK” that she sees you only as a friend; but that just is NOT true!!! Maybe you should be MORE honest with yourself.You’re NOT in love with her. You’re in love with the her that you see in your head. IF you got to know the “real” her on a one-on-one basis, I bet you wouldn’t see her as being so perfect!!! Look for her flaws…YES, she does have them. You 2 share a passion for running & that is ALL she sees you as…her running partner. Try to push it past that & you 2 won’t even like each other.

STOP punishing yourself!!!

Did I miss something? Where’s the part about moving furniture and using?

Tell her and stop seeing her. This should not be her burden to bear. Behave with some grace and move on. Your infatuation is your business. I am sorry you have to deal with it, unrequited love, affection,infatuation, whatever it is can be painful, but distance and time will help.

Move on, find other running mates.

Similar situations have happened to me. I know how you feel. You will feel much better when you find someone who appreciates you and likes to be with you.

I joined a dating club. Got used and abused there also but there was always the next women to explore. Finally found a women who liked being around me. After a year we were married. That was 28 years ago. Can’t imagine life without my wife.

Good luck and good health to you.

A couple of contradictions here…

I don’t think she feels the same way, which is fine.

I figured maybe they were having a quicky and that didn’t really bother me

So which is it?

Respectfully, I am not sure you really know what you are talking about

Well, one thing is certain. If the OP takes no action, noting will change.
I like the idea of telling her how you feel. But I suspect that most women know if someone is interested in them.
I also like the idea that you may be in love, with a version of her, that only exists in your head. I’ve been guilty of this before. It starts with physical attraction, and then you make assumptions about her character. Then, you get to know her, and she’s a dumpster fire…

A hermit crab, never keeps the same shell. It understans, when it needs another, for whatever reason, and moves on. Until it finds one just right, and keeps it for the remainder of it’s life…

No, @MrGrimm888, most women don’t necessarily know. A lot of us assume that a person that presents as a friend is a friend. Remember, most people that are quietly and secretly in love with someone are careful not to reveal that, unless they 13.

Interesting. I can tell when a female likes me.
I can tell you that, from my perspective, I wouldn’t hang out with a female, unless I have some interest in her. Maybe that makes me shallow…
I have had multiple female friends, that would basically use me. My best female friends, usually get a little frisky with me, when they’re drunk.
I am positive that man, will conquer space, and time, well before fully understanding the female mind…

My very best female friend, is a woman named Laura. I’ve known her, since we were teenagers. We’ve both seen, and touched, every part of each other’s bodies. I would never date her. She’s crazy. I love her like a sister, and I would die to protect her. But I would never be her man…. Life is strange.
She always comes to me, when she needs something. She was a gorgeous girl, and is still very attractive, 20 something years after I’ve known her. She used me a lot. She knew what she was, and took full advantage of it.
She used several of my male friends, the same way.
She taught me a lot, about how females use men.
I think she loves me too. But, it’s difficult to get a read on.

I had a friend like her, who one day said she wanted to be with me. We dated, and lived together, for a few months. She was a train wreck. I knew that going into the relationship. But, she had me wrapped around her finger. And she knew it. It was one the best, and worst, time of my life…
I’ve known multiple females, who told me that they just wanted to make sure, that every guy, wanted them. But, they would never hook up with them…
That’s again, an observational take, of mine. Doesn’t mean that I’m right. But, I’m going by observations….

Oh,what a load of teenage crap.

Maybe it’s just the kind of people you know @MrGrimm888. I’ve had a lot of male friends, and I mean good, lifelong friends, and we never touched each other intimately or used each other.

@chyna – Same here.

@chyna Me too.

Like I said, I attract crazy women. Like a moth, to a flame… I concede, that I have repeated this, dozens of times….

I remember being there once eons ago before I met my husband. Try to think of it this way. Now you get to be who you really are with her and have a better friendship. What I mean, is that people always show their best selves but their real friends know the real person you are. It could be she will never like the real you. I had a 3 male friends I dated. Two of them were really close friends until I dated them. I got to see the dating version of themselves. The friend selves were kind an sweet for many years. The dating version were selfish a holes. So it didn’t work out and I lost 2 good friends.

So be who you really are. If she sticks around you will have a good friend for life. If she dumps you, you and she never really knew each other. I’m not saying be a jerk to her. I’m saying treat her like you treat all your pals. You may think you already do, but it’s rare. At first in friendship there are no expectations, so we are relaxed but guarded. Then when you developed feelings you go overboard to agree with stuff you don’t really agree with or substitute your thoughts for theirs . It’s the courting phase. Eventually with time they will see who you really are or you grow resentful because you feel the relationship is one sided.

The only person I ever got to be friends with quickly and marry is my husband but that was because we actually argued a lot at first and cleaned the air about who we really were. We didn’t have a lot of time to develop a deep infatuation. The thing I liked most was he didn’t take crap from me and I didn’t take crap from him. So we laid it all out.

You do that and you may have a long time friendship worth preserving. Or one implode because it was headed that way in time.
Or you can just really take a good look at her and recognize all her flaws that you ignored because you were in the courting phase and recognize all the reasons it wouldn’t have worked and give yourself some distance and find a new love interest.

I’d just be honest. ”[Insert her name], I can’t keep running with you. I’m sorry but I caught feelings, and I need to give myself time and space away from you so I can emotionally recalibrate. I’m sorry if my decision hurts you. I’m going to miss our friendship, but it’s what I need for my own emotional/mental health. I wish you the very best in all things. Goodbye.”

Me either, @MrGrimm.

Perhaps they think they have so little value, you’ll only help them if they put out?

@MrGrimm888 It seems to me that you need to take ownership here and say that you are attracted to crazy women. Nobody is just a victim in dysfunctional relationships.

@KNOWITALL . I help females all the time. It’s when they only call you, if they need something that bothers me. “I need you to come help me move.” “I need you to take me somewhere.” “My boyfriend hit me.” “I need you help me fix my car.” “I need you to help paint my house, because you’re tall, and could paint the high places.”
After a while, a patern emerges. I’m just a utility, not a friend.

My friend Laura makes me laugh. If she sees me walking on the side of the road, she’ll pick me up. And she’s extremely loyal. She’ll try and kill someone who fucks with me, or my current girlfriend. She asks for a LOT, from me. But she reciprocates. Yes. We’ve done some sexual stuff, but we never went “all the way,” and I don’t really want to even though she’s really pretty. But we love each other, like siblings.

@janbb . I thought I took responsibility, by admitting, that I make the mistake of hooking up with these crazy girls… It’s actually ALL my fault, because the signs were usually there, before I got with them…

A couple things here.
Firstly, it is not Love that you are feeling at this stage. Love is not a feeling that you have when you are just running buddies. It is also unhealthy to think it is Love when you have not even tried to make things serious. Try no to confuse what you may want with what is in front of you at this point. It takes quite some time to develop “Love” feelings. You are interested in her that is for sure. But she does not have a crystal ball and you need to move this in some direction.

What do you want? How do you know she is not interested in you?

You say you are OK with things, but your actions say another.
Admit to yourself that you have feelings. Take some time to determine what they are and what you may want. What I am reading is that you would like more than a friend who is a running buddy. Give her the respect she deserves by being open with her as opposed to hiding your feelings.
If you want more than what you have now, then you need to have a talk with her to discuss your feelings. Make sure you do this in a calm and caring fashion. Be prepared for it to go either way.
If you don’t feel strongly enough about her and your feelings to do this, then you have to let go of the movie playing in your head.

Don’t run your life by “should have, could have, what if” questions.

Let us know how things go. I wish you peace, confidence and a positive outcome for each of you.

I forgot to mention. Whatever you do, do it sober…

Sounds like your stuck in the “friend zone” pal. Deal with it and try to find another woman if you’re in the market for girlfriend. It’s hard but it happens to all of us. Good luck.

I was in the same situation in 2000 in university. It went over badly because I had a too high of an opinion for her. I didn’t think that I could ever find someone like her. The university had to break us up because we where making a toxic environment. I found another woman, but she was married. I stopped looking. After my debts are paid and I am settled in a new career I will rejoin eHarmony or Match.