How do you know when you can trust someone?

As a general rule I pretty much don’t trust anyone.

@Darth_Algar -No family members or friends?

Family especially.

@Darth_Algar-

Do you go by three strikes (or less) and they’re out method?
Does hearsay ever play a part in your assessment?
Do you believe that if they will do little things they will escalate to bigger things at some point?
Direct,negative experience with them?

Trust is merely the prelude to betrayal.

@ragingloli – Sure, people make mistakes but where do you draw the line between trust and distrust?

When you’ve known them for a very considerable length of time and they have proven themselves to be trustworthy.

@kritiper – Time is definitely a factor for me.

I principally trust everyone I meet.
I can’t imagine how I would (have to) act towards someone with the attitude of the opposite.
I feel I would be (or get) bitter.
So far I’ve only once had the experience that a friend did something that broke my trust in them (and the friendship).

So, in short; I don’t know how or if I can trust someone.
For me it’s a matter of feelings, sensing.

I stopped trusting people when they replaced the pinata with a bee hive on my 6th birthday.

@ragingloli -Is that also the day you lost trust in bees

Levels of trust must vary with the individual and what tequires entrusting? Trust with what? Secrets? The combination to the safe? Trust my neighbor to feed my cat?

@stanleybmanly -All under the title of “trustworthy” if they are

I trust implicitly until they give me a reason to doubt their sincerity.
Then, I withdraw my energy & time from them as they are thoroughly undeserving of my general awesomeness!

Generally, I try to trust everyone once. What they do after that is up to them. It’s like being in a court of law and assuming innocence until proven guilty.

I trust no one until they can prove that they are trustworthy. At that point, it’s instinct that kicks in to tell me what to expect. I believe that if you’ll lie to me about the unimportant little stuff, that you’ll definitely lie to me about the major important stuff. Anybody can make a mistake, so I’ll forgive the first lie, but don’t tell me a 2nd one or you’re gone. If I lose my mind and give you the 2nd one, there best not be a 3rd one or hell will freeze over before we are friends again

I see “trust” as a neutral and neither positive or negative. Meaning that, I trust someone will act a certain way or say a certain thing based on the nature of our relationship and their track record. Those actions or words can be either positive or negative.

For example…

I trust that my wife always has my best interest at heart.

I trust that my nephew, shortly after breaking up with current girlfriend, will come looking for a handout or help with his children and act like nothing ever happened (despite him being a volatile, selfish, asshole a mere 6 to 18 months previous).

I trust that my friend will, at least once, in any lengthy get together bring up to all our struggling friends with children (us included) how great it is that she and husband will be retiring early and have oodles in the bank thanks to not having kids (and a timely inheritance from her mother).

I trust that every morning, around 6AM, a cold, wet dog nose will find its way into my face as if to say, “Wake Up!!”

I trust that my daughter, despite being smart, articulate, and generally caring will not take care of me in my old age, because she has said so multiple times.

@SEKA -“I believe that if you’ll lie to me about the unimportant little stuff, that you’ll definitely lie to me about the major important stuff”. I couldn’t agree with you more.

I trust only people I have very damaging intell on.

@Patty_Melt -Lol!

@lucillelucillelucille _“Do you go by three strikes (or less) and they’re out method?
Does hearsay ever play a part in your assessment?
Do you believe that if they will do little things they will escalate to bigger things at some point?
Direct,negative experience with them?”

- No.
– No.
– Not necessarily.
– Often times, yes.

My stance is that trustworthiness is earned. You have to prove to me that I can trust you.

And friends and family are often the worse since A: they feel it’s their place to butt into your business, and B: they’ll attempt to manipulate you emotionally. They’ll drain you if you let them, and they’ll act indignant when you refuse to allow them to feed off you.

Well said. Trust is earned. And it’s easily thrown away. Once thrown away, it REALLY hard to get back.
I generally trust nobody either…

I trust that people will be people. Logic dictates, that a person will choose their own interests, over another’s. It’s a matter of if the right circumstances will arise, to force them to make such a decision.
Then you have psychopaths, who would do something untrustworthy, to anyone.

It’s not uncommon to see neighbors, and friends, of a mass shooter, to say “I never suspected that that person was capable of doing this.”

Then, you have to realize that statistics say, there are x amount of serial killers, living amongst us. Who knows who they are?....

Some of it is history. Have they openly shared your values over time.
Some of it is sort of organic. Like when you meet somebody, and you just sort of know immediately they are a kindred spirit.

I give everybody a chance if they screw up. I let them know what I see as the problem. If that doesn’t do it, then I figure they have made a choice regarding the value of my trust.

I give a stranger respect. I don’t give them trust…

Oops, I missed the hearsay part of the question. I will take hearsay into account, but do not base my entire logic around it; so although it might make me weary, I don’t base my entire opinion on hearing one or more comment on a particular person not being trustworthy in their mind. If I’ve learned to trust their judgement, I usually take a little extra care in my trust management. If I feel that the perceived liar is being honest with me, I throw out the opinion of someone else and don’t base my entire opinion on what someone else said. Still, it is always in the back of my mind to keep my eyes and my mind open to my interpretation of what I’m seeing or hearing.

@lucillelucillelucille It took me years to learn about the little big lie. Believe me I learned it the hard way

@SEKA -I eventually learned as well.