Am I the only one feeling like I won't be happy anymore?

The world can look and seem hard and dark at times. Especially when your life is not what you wish it to be. I have lost a person I loved more than anything in the world to suicide. It shut me down completely for ten years. I know you have a mom you love and my guess is that she loves you. Please don’t even think about throwing away your life before it has really started. Suicide is not the solution. Have you heard the saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That is the truth. In case you don’t already have it I’m giving you a telephone number you can call 24/7 to talk to someone. They will get you help. If you really feel like you want to hurt yourself you can always call 911. You will be taken to a hospital so you will be safe and get help. It’s not weak to need and ask for help. That is what you did when you posted this 20 minutes ago. People do care, Zed. I care. Elaine

800–273-8255. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

You certainly aren’t the only one.
I don’t want you to put too much personal information out there, and if you want you can feel free to PM me, but are you able to elaborate slightly? Can you list things that come to your mind when you are upset, things that bring you down? That would be a good place to start. It’s hard to continuously motivate yourself and it’s easy to get burnt out. Identifying those things help because then you can start to slowly tackle each thing individually. Are you able to take a little break, focus on yourself for a few days? That won’t be a cure but it’ll make it easier to see things with a clear mind. I like making lists. I make lists of things and I come up with reasons why it’s bothering me and solutions to help me. If there aren’t any solutions, I work on getting it out of my mind so I can focus on what I can change.

Do you have any ability to see a therapist? Or is that out of the question?
Life is worth living, believe it or not. . I don’t know anything about your situation but I really want you to stay strong and stay alive. Please, feel free to PM me and I will do what I can to help.
I don’t have the best solutions because my coping skills are all temporary, but sometimes I make a list of everything I accomplished that day. Like for example, “I woke up” is one or “I took a shower”. It sounds really stupid but when you are depressed those things are a real struggle to do, but reminding yourself that you can do what you put your mind to helps. I also make my bed every day as well.

Suicide is definitely not the answer. Don’t forget that.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out, I would love to talk to you and do my best to help.
Also, welcome to Fluther. I’m sure many of us here would be willing to help you as well.

May I ask how old you are @Zed?
It would affect my response.

Thank you so much for sharing your situation with us. I am so sorry to read that you are hurting.

I have been there. I know how awful it is to feel glued to the bed or the couch or the chair; wherever you are. It’s just awful to feel so heavy and not want to move. I know what that feels like. I really do. I was there for years. I recovered. It’s not a simple process like just taking a pill. It’s a combination of factors that helped me recover.

First, I take meds. I still take them. I don’t want to get back to that blackness, so I take the meds my psychiatrist gives me. I hope you can see a doctor. I hope your situation is such that you have insurance and can see a doctor. The meds aren’t the only thing that helps though.

Next, I go to therapy. I go every other week now, but at my worst, I went every single week, and there have been times when I went twice in a week. There is no shame in going to a therapist. I was fighting for my life. Therapy gave me a place where I could talk about the blackness. Also, I could hear ideas that I could actually use to help myself feel better. Little ideas.

Next, I started to walk every day. Every single day. I got out of my house and I walked. Some days, it was very short. Just down the driveway and back. But for that very brief bit of time, I wasn’t siting full and heavy in my chair. I was outside walking.

Next, I started to eat a healthy diet. I have no scientific evidence, but I stopped eating refined sugar. If I wanted something sweet, I ate fruit. I kept my sugar intake to below 20mg each day. It’s not easy, but I am completely convinced that it helped. Other than that, I ate whatever I wanted to. But I had to be careful. There is sugar in a lot of fast food that you wouldn’t expect. It’s in hamburgers and French fries. It’s in all processed food. I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables and chicken and turkey. I drink a lot of milk, too, and I eat a lot of cheese.

Then, I made sure that I got good sleep. This may not be an issue for you at the moment. If your depression is like mine, you sleep a lot. I forced myself out of my bed after 8 or 9 hours, and made myself sit up in my chair. These days, I get up refreshed after 8 hours of sleep.

Finally, I meditate. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s probably the most important thing I do for my recovery. I sit and relax, and then I start to breathe. When I was first starting, I counted my breaths. My thoughts would start to wander after just 2 breaths, and here’s the key. Don’t fight the wandering thoughts. Don’t get upset. That’s exactly what your mind is supposed to do. It’s built to wander. When you find your mind wandering and you’re not concentrating on counting your breaths, very gently return your mind to the number. Start again at one each time after your mind has wandered. Do it very gently. Don’t get angry at yourself.

I’ve been meditating for years now. I no longer count my breaths. I recite a mantra I learned. I also recite some affirmations. But counting is a great way to begin.

I’ve given you a lot to think about.Does it feel overwhelming? Probably. Do you want a simple way to start? Here is a good idea that someone told me about: do one nice thing for yourself every day. That one nice thing might be getting out of bed. If the only nice thing you can manage is to get out of bed, celebrate that victory. Getting out of bed is a victory. There were days when the only nice thing I could do for myself was to brush my teeth. I would brush my teeth, and then I would force myself to smile at myself in the mirror for 5 full seconds. It was a fake smile, but I forced myself to do it anyway.

Other ideas for one nice thing to do for yourself might be to watch a comedy show on TV. Watch a funny cartoon. It has to be a funny one. A great way to do one nice thing is to go outside. Just for a little while. If you can manage it, go for a walk. Just a short walk is OK.

Finally, thank you for your honesty in telling us you want to be gone. Oh! I understand! I wanted to disappear. One night, I was in the black pit of despair where there was no light. None. I was in such pain. I made a plan, and I was ready to do it when my phone rang. By some miracle, I found the energy to answer the phone. It was my boyfriend calling. I was so anguished that I started to cry. He called my sister, and she came and took me to the hospital where I got help and started the long road to recovery.

I recovered. You can too. DM me if you want.

I see you have some great advice here, from people who care, for realz.
I couldn’t possibly add to what they have already said here for you. I just want to reassure you that you are not alone. A also, bad is never forever. Please know that people care.

@Sagacious @SergeantQueen @Hawaii_Jake Thank you so much

@MrGrimm888 i am 22

I want to make them feel good.
Life is full of making people feel bad . Nobody is allowed to do that here. Not, without me coming in..
I’ll stick up, for any jelly. I may get moded, but that’s the price I’m willing to pay…
I shake many cages. I know that. .But, nobody, is allowed to beat on my fellow jellies. Fuck that
It’s got me in trouble, with the Mods. They’re patient, with me. Thanks to them.

Peace n love, to all….

Ever tried meditating and traveling around your inner space?
Maybe you can see what’s clouding you so much.
Contact me if you need help focusing.

I can’t meditate. But. I can lay in the dark, and listen to relaxing music. I listen to lots of classical music. Piano, and such. It balances me…

Everyone can meditate. You just need to just first have a goal.

I always have a goal. I just can’t stop my mind from racing…

“It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling — that really hollowed-out feeling.”— J.K. Rowling

Zed, you are not alone. About 7% of the United States feel the same way as you. I have many well-known clients who from the outside look like we all want to be like them but they are going through the same feelings as you. So you are in good company.

I put together a piece on COPING WITH ANXIETY & also DEPRESSION for you with some non-medical ways to address your feelings. I hope you take something away from the articles.

In today’s challenging times, it’s never been a more valuable asset. Scientists say we have between 12,000 to 50,000 thoughts in a day, and our mind takes the negative approach to things 70% of the time. Globally speaking, since we must use our free will to connect to source or goodness, your mind tends to think about what you don’t have or what you can’t do. Pretty wild, uh?

Not to get too scientific but the amygdala in the brain modulates the release of cortisol and other stress hormones, creating anxiety and fear. Simple as that.

So let’s earn how to tap into the positive and manage the negative.

Most of us spend a lot of time inside our own mind — worrying about the future, replaying events in the past, and generally focusing on the parts of life that leave us dissatisfied. While common, negative or unwanted thoughts can prevent you from enjoying experiences, distract you from focusing on what’s important, and drain your energy. They can also make you feel anxious and depressed.

The good news is that with dedicated practice, you can replace negative thinking patterns with thoughts that actually help. This can make a huge difference in your day-to-day happiness and comfort.

Ways to manage and decrease your negative thoughts:

1. Recognize thought distortions. Our minds have clever and persistent ways of convincing us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts reinforce negative thinking. If you can recognize them, you can learn to challenge them. Here are four common thought distortions:

· Black and white thinking. Seeing everything as one way or another, without any in between.

· Personalizing. Assuming you are to blame for anything that goes wrong, like thinking someone did not smile at you because you did something to upset her. (It’s more likely that person is having a hard day and her mood had nothing to do with you.)

· Filter thinking. Choosing to see only the negative side of a situation.

· Catastrophizing. Assuming the worst possible outcome is going to happen.

2. Challenge negative thoughts. Whenever you have a distorted thought, stop and evaluate whether it is accurate. Think about how you would respond if a friend spoke about herself that way. You would probably offer a good rebuttal to his or her negative view. Apply the same logic to your own thoughts. Ask yourself if you are assuming the worst will happen or blaming yourself for something that has not gone the way you wanted. And then think about other possible outcomes or reasons that something turned out differently than you hoped.

3. Take a break from negative thoughts. It is possible to learn how to separate from negative thoughts. One way to do this is to allow yourself a certain amount of time (maybe five minutes) with the thought. Then take a break from focusing on it and move on with your day.

4. Release judgment. We all judge ourselves and others, usually unconsciously. Constantly comparing ourselves to other people or comparing our lives to some ideal breeds dissatisfaction. When you are able to let go of judgment (not easy, but possible), you will likely feel more at ease. Some ways to take a break from judgmental thoughts include recognizing your own reaction, observing it, and then letting it go. Another helpful technique is to “positive judge.” When you notice you are negatively judging a person, yourself, or a situation, look for a positive quality, too.

5. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that feeling grateful has a big impact on your levels of positivity and happiness. Even when you are experiencing a challenging time in your life, you can usually find things (even small things) to be grateful for. Noticing the things that are going well and making you feel happy will keep you in touch with them. Keeping a gratitude journal and writing a few things in it every day is one easy and effective way to do this.

6. Focus on your strengths. It’s human nature to dwell on the negative and overlook the positive. The more you can practice focusing on your strengths and not dwelling on mistakes you’ve made, the easier it will be to feel positive about yourself and the direction your life is taking. If you find yourself thinking harsh thoughts about your personality or actions, take a moment to stop and think about something you like about yourself.

7. Seek out professional support if you are unable to manage your thoughts or find they are interfering with your ability to meet your daily responsibilities or enjoy life. Counseling can help you weather life changes, reduce emotional suffering and experience self-growth.

NATURAL WAYS FOR COPING TIPS FOR DEPRESSION

Life is a drag.

What’s the point of anything?

I’ll never be happy.

Do any of these gloomy thoughts sound familiar? It’s likely they do. The occasional case of the blues is perfectly normal, but that doesn’t make dealing with it any easier. If you allow them to, negative thoughts can fester and lead to serious depression. That’s why it’s important to take action early to bust yourself out of a slump.

While these suggestions won’t eliminate your problems, they can help you break a negative thought pattern and stop feeling depressed. If you think you might have a serious mental health problem, don’t hesitate to see a medical professional.

1. Understand the emotional cycle – Life is an emotional roller coaster. Some days you feel like nothing can stop you. Other days you feel utterly hopeless. Most of the time you’re somewhere in between. Understanding the pattern of positive and negative emotions will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next time you feel down, just remember that it’s a natural emotion that will inevitably pass. Knowing that a feeling of depression is only temporary makes it less dreadful.

2. Spend time with positive people – Nothing affects the way you think and feel more than the people you interact with. Thoughts (both positive and negative) are contagious. If you are surrounded by negative people, it’s only natural that you’ll start to think and feel the same way. To improve your outlook on life, spend time with positive people. Search them out and try to understand the way they see the world. Chances are their happiness will rub off.

3. Reflect on past success – In the wake of a colossal failure, it’s easy to forget everything you’ve ever done right. Take a few minutes to remember your past accomplishments and build yourself up. What made you successful before? What are your strengths? Frequently, this exercise will build self-confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in the future.

4. Focus on gratitude – It’s human nature to measure ourselves against those ahead of us on the social ladder. Studies have shown that people care more about being richer than their friends than actually making more money. When you consider everything good in your life and compare it to the problems of less fortunate people, the issue that’s making you depressed won’t seem as serious.

5. Change of scenery – One of the best ways to change the way you feel is to change your environment. When you get in a slump, you start to associate your problems with everything around you. It can get to the point where your environment is a constant reminder of your problems. This can be a dangerous cycle. The solution is to change things. Change doesn’t have to be radical. Cleaning up, adding more lights, or including pleasant decorations can completely change the mood of a room.

6. Break your routine – Going through the same routine, day after day, can be monotonous and depressing. It often leads to getting caught in a rut. To get out of it you need to temporarily change your routine. If you can, take a day off from work. Do something you don’t normally have time for or something you’ve never tried. In the long run, taking a day off every now and then to get out of slump will make you happier and more productive.

7. Interact with animals and nature – It’s funny when you consider how humans put so much importance on their own tiny problems. Animals don’t think this way. A little bird doesn’t mope around because it isn’t an eagle or because another bird beat it to a tasty seed. Animals live in the present moment and they show love unconditionally. Observing and interacting with them will help you get over your problems.

8. Get moving – As Johnny Cash famously suggested, “Get a rhythm, when you get the blues.” Moving to a beat makes everyone feel better. The same is true for movement in general. Hitting the gym or going for a walk will help you shed the lethargy that comes with feeling depressed. The more enthusiastic your moments, the better you will start to feel.

9. Think about the big picture – As Carl Sagan made evident with the Pale Blue Dot, we’re insignificant creatures living in a vast universe on a tiny planet. In the long run, everything we do will probably be forgotten. Some might find this depressing, but it shouldn’t be. It means that all our problems are illusory. In a million years no one will remember what you did or didn’t do. What matters is the present moment and enjoying every second of life that we’re blessed with.

10. Do something to help yourself – Above all, the best way to stop feeling depressed is to take action. What is your biggest problem? How can you alleviate it? Once you decide to stop moping and start moving forward you won’t have time to feel depressed. Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier.

I hope this was helpful and understanding and starting to alleviate anxiety and depression; you are not the only one in the world that feels the way you do.

Besides my passion for Neuroscience, Human Behavior and Mental Illness and how it affects and helps human beings, I continue to be excited by the continual positive affects my clients get from reducing “stress in their lives” in this “UNCERTAIN WORLD.” I hope this helped you a bit as well.

“Ordinary people can become Extraordinary” and be able to overcome your challenges and attain your goals so you will get what we all want: “peace of mind.”

Thanks for the great question. They not only help you but many, many, many other people dealing with the same issue. First we crawl, than we walk and then we run!

This is an incredible time to “Reinvent ourselves” and Pursue our Passions” in the “New Normal” and with the right tools you will continue to grow and have an incredible life. Crush it!

As we are in this world for a short period of time, my goal is to change the lives of people so they can continue to grow, give back to the community, and change the world for future generations, thus leaving a legacy. (It is key to think about our legacy because we are all writing it every day!)

The BEST IS YET TO COME.

Have a Powerful Day!

Hey Mr Grim sorry for the late reply.
See a goal you would like to achieve.
There it is. You can see it visually.
Literally you saw it with your own eyes in front of you.
Race in that direction and I wish you the best.

If you’d like to reconnect, leave your technology and risk your life alone in the wilderness (a simple task for some and impossible for others) and come back in a week tell us how you feel

(Don’t take my advice if you felt endangered by it)

^If that was directed to me, I’m afraid we need to clarify that I was not the op, and there are many differences in whosoever the op is,and my scenario.