Off hand, can you call to mind the funniest joke you think you’ve ever heard?

No. Here’s the problem. It sort of depends on how much I have had to drink. Some jokes are funny as hell when you’ve had some liquid refreshment, but not funny at all when sober.

NSFW The filthiest is The Aristocrats

Can not post it, for it is obscene.

@ragingloli post it

[NSFW]

@ragingloli That was funny

@zenvelo I think the bandit’s point about the booze is valid. The Gotfreid skit rapidly descends to boredom for me as the imagery piles up. I also suspect that the guy telling me the joke that sent me to the floor laughing was good at telling it. Anyway, let me try to tell it here:

A guy is sitting at a bar when a stunning woman walks in and sits on the stool next to him. The woman is so gorgeous that the man is speechless and can only stare at her magnificent breasts as she orders a drink. Finally he snaps out of his trance but continues gazing at her chest as he stammers “would you accept a thousand dollars if I offered it to you to lick and nibble on those?” The girl looks him up and down suspiciously then replies “Let me think about it while I finish my drink”. A couple of minutes later, she downs the last sip and turns to the man with a determined “you’re on”. Sizing the guy up, she grabs him by the hand and leads him to a secluded booth in a dark corner of the bar to seal the deal before the guy can change his mind. She shoves him into the booth, unbuttoning her blouse as she follows. The guy sits transfixed as she undoes her bra and 2 magnificent boobs tumble out. Our man is overwhelmed by the grandeur of it all, and sits there petrified. The girl quickly understands that she must take the initiative if she is to pocket the thousand dollars so she gently cups the face of her benefactor in her hands and proceeds to tub his cheek gently on her boobs. This goes on for a minute or so while the man coos and purrs in reverie until she leans over to whisper in his ear “aren’t you going to lick and nibble them?” To which the man replies from his rapture. “O no. They’re much too expensive!”

I couldn’t stop laughing

My favorites are all story type. One I stole from Howie Mandel.

I used to have a few one liners I would throw out like marbles on the floor when everyone is stoned.

Yeah, here goes:
A bear and a rabbit were playing chase in the woods, and they stopped because they both had to poop. Afterward, the bear asked: “Yikes, you have problems with poop sticking to your fur?” The rabbit replied: “Nope, not a bit.” The bear chuckled: “Good.” He then wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Eddie Murphy – Delirious. ^