How do I feel about someone who almost caused my death?

Unfortunately, we can’t tell you what to feel.

What your father did was horrible, I can tell you that. But I am not sure how I would feel in your situation. I wouldn’t associate myself with that person nor would I like them, but I haven’t been through what you have, and he is your father. (which does make it equally worse and harder to handle)

This might be a situation, where if you are able to, you should try and see a therapist. They can help you organize your thoughts and then from there you can work towards figuring out how you feel about him.

It’s a hard situation. I’m sorry it happened to you. I wish you the best.

How should you feel? Angry, betrayed, vulnerable, expendable at the uncaring hands of others.

What is POTS?

@Dutchess_lll POTS

Whatever feelings you have are okay.
It is hard for people to believe symptoms they can’t see. Broken bones are easy to believe because their is visual evidence.
That doesn’t mean doubting you is okay, it is not, but It is normal.
Millions of people suffer with conditions which are misdiagnosed, and misunderstood for a long time before they finally get the treatment they need. It goes on, and it hurts.
I believe social media will eventually help well people be more understanding.
I don’t think you hate him. I think you hate that he wasn’t in your corner when you badly needed him.
You should discuss with him, in a calm way, how it made you feel, that he didn’t support you.
If you give him forgiveness and compassion as you let him know how you feel, some of that might rub off on him.
I have been through a lot myself due to a rare condition I suffer, so I understand the mix of feelings you probably have. The important thing is, that you focus on your own happiness, and forgive yourself, because along the way you probably had your own doubts. It is one stage most of us go through when fighting to find out what’s wrong with us.
I joined a FB group which is for people suffering with the same condition I have. It is a comfort to associate with people who understand. I feel you could benefit from finding a group you can identify with.
Your strength is admirable. Hang in there.

Welcome to Fluther. I hope you will choose to stay.

I’m going to repeat what @Patty_Melt said because it is very important and will be hard to remember at times ”Whatever feelings you have are okay.”
Try not to shame yourself. That’s easier said than done, but allow yourself to go through emotions with this. It’s tough when it’s family. Everything you feel is valid.

Social media is also very good. Reddit is another site, I use it personally instead of Facebook. You can be more anonymous on Reddit if you don’t want to show your identity.
@Patty_Melt gave a good suggestion with that. Reaching out to those who know how you feel will help. You will discover that you aren’t alone in things you thought you were.

It’s a waste of time and energy being angry at someone who won’t admit being wrong in the matter.
Cut him loose.

https://www.medicinenet.com/pot_syndrome/article.htm#pot_syndrome_definition_and_facts

This would had been a very difficult thing to pinpoint so no wonder the father discounted it since he never had heard of it?

It doesn’t discount that fact that he should had sought out medical advice for his son anyways to get expert diagnosis.

I would cut him some slack since he is not expected to be an expert.

She was misdiagnosed several times @Inspired_2write. Because she kept getting different diagnoses her dad thought she was faking it. Also, she’s his daughter, not his son.

What do you mean your dad “attacked” your mother over this? He physically attacked her?
Has your relationship with your dad always been this strained?

IMHO if he continues to deny that you had/have a medically diagnosed condition I would not trust him. And if you have negative feelings about him it is certainly understandable.

@Dutchess_III He was verbally abusive, she prevented him from speaking with me because he yelled constantly, claiming she was coddling to me, and that I must’ve been faking my illness, when I was bedridden I heard him yelling at her, and she would be crying in the kitchen, I’ve not had a good relationship with my father since I was a child, and for future reference, pots was not the disease, it is a result of going so long without treatment, my body is damaged, I had a combination of things the doctors still aren’t sure what all it was, but once my rocky mountain spotted fever was treated, my immune system was eventually capable of fighting back the rest of it

I am so sorry @SicklyWoman. Are you still living at home?

You don’t have any friends to talk to? People who know you? Perhaps a school counselor. It’s not going to help you to hear strangers say what they would do and how they would feel because no one knows what it feels like to be you. Talk to an adult you trust. If you know a pastor you might find some help there, at least some help finding some help. They usually have very good resources. Good luck

@Dutchess_III I am, I’ve been in recovery about a year now, I’m not in any danger really I’m just upset

I don’t blame you.

@SicklyWoman I get you. I also have a difficult to understand condition. When I tell people about it I either get a blank stare or they get offended because I somehow insulted them with my condition. Unfortunately even medical people do this! All the same, it’s real. I’m not making it up.

It’s very frustrating. Every once in a while I find somebody who is compassionate, but mostly I have had to learn to protect myself from people like your father. I’ve noticed that getting angry doesn’t help a bit. It’s better to channel my anger toward a solution. I have done everything from calling corporate offices to get people to cooperate with my needs, to enforcing personal boundaries to make sure that I am not further injured.

I know that remaining angry long term (becoming bitter) toward the people who have hurt me doesn’t help me. There are many magazine articles and much documentation on the toll that long-term anger will take on the body. Below I have posted one article.

Remaining angry Is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die! So I’m choosing to forgive and I am praying for those who have hurt me. Hugs sweetie!
https://health.usnews.com/wellness/mind/articles/2017-10-26/the-physical-and-mental-toll-of-being-angry-all-the-time

@snowberry -Exactly right.

Well said, Snow.