Have you ever given up on a lifelong dream?

@mazingerz88 Have you ever given up on a lifelong dream?

Am I still breathing?

Yes. I gave up my learners permit this week. Sponge bob square pants will learn to drive before me.

I am in my fifties now, and since I was twenty, I wanted to build a retreat center on some property (80 acres, with natural springs) I own which is located less than half an hour from my city. I got a masters degree in relevant fields, and am an ordained minister. I designed buildings, and have friends in areas where I am deficient.

Why did I give it up? Well, I’ve never been much more than living in poverty, have had to take care of people close to me even though I lack resources, and just don’t want to risk going through with it. I gave up I suppose about five years ago, I still have other dreams, such as getting published, if I could get a good workstation for writing, relatively free of these constant distractions,

I gave up my dreams of owning real estate in a big way, but I’m holding onto opening a bakery.

Several things.
From the time I was in the third grade till I was in my 2nd year of college I wanted to be a geologist. I studied the subject obsessively, majored in it for two years and came to the sobering realization that finding work in the area I wanted would be fleeting (historical geology). Luckily I found a new love in electronics which lead to a fruitful career where I spent 15 years developing and deploying electronics for geotechnical measurements.

I did spend a few years on sabbatical from geology ambitions pursuing a career in music. I played in rock bands and seriously studied classical guitar. We were on a trajectory to actually get somewhere but my band mates had little business sense and I realized that it was a losing proposition. I left the group but never found other musicians I clicked with. It was a fun time for a few years in my late teens and early 20’s though. My old group found a moderate level of success regionally but never did “break through.” Again no business/marketing sense. They deserved more, they were so talented! Side note: Both of my sisters had that ambition also only they made it happen.

I did always want a family. I felt a strong need to be a father but only when I was ready. My first serious GF was eight years older than me and ready to settle down. I was running around playing in rock bands and nowhere near ready. She was the one who got away and I let her go. She has three kids now and I’m happy for her but if I could go back… I love my current wife so much it hurts but we cannot have kids. At 43 it’s too late for that now and I would not leave my wife anyway. My one and only true regret in life is not having them though. I fill the hole with hobbies and projects.

I always wanted to be a mom and after dealing with infertility, I ultimately had to be surgically sterilized for health reasons. Now I will not be able to bear any children. I’m looking into foster care, so while I have given up that particular dream, I’ve replaced it with something else that I find myself equally excited to do. It’s not the same, but it’s right for me.

Yes, I want(ed) to own an RV and travel the U S, but I never will

About 10 years ago, I bought my retirement house.
It was a bit more expensive than I wanted, but my wife loved it.
The house is on a hillside, so there is little level ground. That means there is no room to put up the secondary house I wanted. I had been hustling to buy a futuro house
It still breaks my heart not to have one.

Gave up on having children.

I had medical issues and miscarriages and I didn’t feel the doctors understood what was wrong with me. I was in pain a lot, and worried about my baby not being ok because if my health issues, and all sorts of garbage. I went to fertility doctors and all sorts of fucked up mishaps happened, and ignorant doctors. I could tell you the long stories, but I won’t bother. It really sucks.

My great fault in life can best be described as a deficit of ambition. I’ve never known what I would prefer to do for a living, or exactly what would best suit me. Most of my dreams have more or less come true, and my greatest apprehension— the rearing of kids was virtually whisked upon me & I braced for the worst. Turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve been unbelievably lucky all around. It appears that there is beauty in a lack of ambition (if you’re lucky). If you don’t know what you want, you are much less susceptible to disappointment.

Yes. Of having children. There are too many sad details to go into. Needless to say it was the right choice. But it still make me sad sometimes.