Am I bad for not reaching out (details inside)
So this morning I was in a group on Facebook and I saw someone talking about a psychological matter. It was something I know about and I was compelled to add something. So I made another post talking about the same thing but with a bit of my own experience. My post immediately blew up, with people telling me how that was the most accurate analysis on the topic so far. Then people immediately asked me to give them advice, some said under the comment section, others either added me on Facebook or directly messaged me.
Now this is where the problem began. I really, really wanted to help everyone. I know that the people who asked for advice are the one with genuine problems, but I was afraid that once I started commenting publicly that anyone could ask me for help, I would be drowned in messages (I only helped the people who reached out to me in PM and I’m feeling somewhat exhausted right now, I’ve been doing that since the afternoon).
Am I bad for not telling people publicly to just PM me?
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6 Answers
I’m not going to say whether you are good or bad, for not stating that.
That would be judgemental, and I don’t want to do that in this case.
But, how about you look at this case and pretend it was someone else’s; what would your answer to them be then?
There’s your answer.
That is, if you would use the same standards for others that you would for yourself.
I don’t think of it as being bad or good. It’s emotional labor. You don’t have an unlimited source.
Definitely NOT bad. People who engage seeking advise in social media should realize ( if not already for those who have been doing it for years now ) there are limits.
If they don’t get a direct response from a FB thread or PM, they must assume you have a good personal reason behind it and they should leave it at that.
My advise, post saying you will try to accomodate but if they don’t hear from you, you have commitments you need to attend to. Reasonable people would understand.
“So I made another post talking about the same thing but with a bit of my own experience. My post immediately blew up, with people telling me how that was the most accurate analysis on the topic so far. Then people immediately asked me to give them advice, some said under the comment section, others either added me on Facebook or directly messaged me.”
Since you were just talking about YOUR experience I would had stated that in the next Post that you are not a professional and the reason that you felt compelled to answer in the first place..to help.
Post that you do not wish to be inundated with posts as you are only one person and too ask them to confide in a professional if more is required? ( since you are limited ).
However you end up answering these people, compassion is appropriate. Try to keep in mind that each one is in a in desperate situation, grasping at any thing that looks like it might have an answer for them. In your country, most professionals do not have training in this area, but because you have read widely about the subject in English, you appear to have an expertise on the subject. Certainly, you know more than most, but as you are well aware, that does not make you an expert.
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