How do you self comfort yourself?

Kool aide and pizza.

High five!

@Jonsblond Hi five!.

Rubbing my chin.

Ice cream

That’s an interesting question. I’ve worked hard at this over the last three years or so. Staying calm used to be relatively easy for me, but legitimate concerns about different loved ones along with grief and outside stressors have made it more of a challenge.

I think many attempts at self-soothing are subconscious. Sighing, stressed yawns, curling up, kneading one’s lips, withdrawing. I believe I do all of those. Sometimes I massage my own head. I tap my feet when I’m stressed, but I don’t think that soothes me.

More consciously, I sit down with a calming distraction and a hot drink or something sweet. I do mindfulness techniques such as noticing how gravity grounds me and feeling the movement of my own breathing. I find five things to see, four to hear, three to feel, two to smell and one to taste. I put some lavendar oil on my wrists or smell flowers and herbs from the garden. Walks help a lot, especially when I can be in the forest. Sometimes I take a moment to notice that I need to take care of myself before worrying about anyone else. And I make it impossible to act on repetitive instincts like checking my phone for new input, usually by simply turning it off and putting it away. For anxiety, I use the ABCDE technique to dispute catastrophizing thought processes. And when I feel tired, I listen to a guided meditation. My current favourite is a “loving kindness” meditation because I’m definitely at my best when I let go of anger.

I wish calming techniques were a part of the school curriculum. Everyone should know how to get back to a healthier state of mind. Teaching children how to do this would have the great benefit of implementing good habits before bad ones can develop, making the process automatic and very reliable. In addition, people who know about compassionate ways of helping others feel better can resist the temptation of giving unfortunate advice meant to remove feelings of anger and sadness instead of accepting them.

Hot chai, lavender diffuser and naps.

Hot bubble baths, walks and a good book. (Not all at the same time.)

Sometimes I play with my eye lashes, but I try not to touch my face when I’m in public so that’s out a lot of the time. Taking deep breaths to try to calm down if I’m anxious.

I’m not sure food and TV counts as a self soother, but I do use both as soothers.

Sometimes I clean if I’m angry. It’s like the anger gives me a burst of energy, and whatever mess that has been bothering becomes much focus.

Square breathing. It keeps me out of prison

Square breathing makes me anxious; I’m afraid holding my breath after inhaling and exhaling will kill me.

@rebbel You need to count faster!
This guy for instance, takes too f’n long and is why his face is purple!

Food, weed, and hibernating.

@longgone There is a technique taught in school : turn off the lights and rest your head on the desk.

@YARNLADY That’s for the teacher’s comfort!

Mexican hot chocolate, raisin toast, and Casablanca.

@YARNLADY Really, is that a thing? That’s good. Just not enough, I believe. Ideally, there would be formal lessons on different strategies as well as daily mindfulness rituals and reminders in tense moments. Even very young children can understand a breathing technique when it’s explained as “smell the soup, cool the soup”.

Still, a good start. When I was in elementary school, teachers would sometimes read to us and I remember resting my head and closing my eyes for that. I was very grateful for the break. Thanks for the memory, which even came accompanied by the taste of vanilla…I had vanilla-flavoured milk every day in elementary school, and it was probably my favourite part of most days. Making myself one now, and I bet it will soothe me.

Laying in my bed with my favorite comforting blankets, stuffed animals and kitty.

Tap dance, hot shoe shuffle.
Something of that order.

@anniereborn That’s actually my go-to if the tea and essential oil doesn’t work. My dogs have a whole basket of stuffed animals we play with once in bed. :D

@longgone Some schools in the US have meditation and mindfulness lessons.

@janbb Wow, cool! I hear of individual teachers implementing that over here sometimes. It’s really not very common, though.

Well if the weather is not so great, ill lite a candle and burn a lil lavender/white sage, put on either a good Horror or Comedy and drown myself in a pint of vanilla bourbon Haagen-Dazs ice cream!!!

^Can I join you?

@ Jonsblond Sure!! Company would be awesome!!! What snack would you indulge in? Your more than welcome to try the ice cream if you like☺

Cheese. I’m happy with any dairy product. :D

@Jonsblond, if it makes you happy im all for it! Sometimes when I don’t have the ice cream I would have a small bowl of cottage cheese mixed with pineapple Delish!