What can I do to help a forgetful friend remember where she puts her medical mask?

Tell her to place it by the door.

She has to find one place and get in the habit of putting it back there every time. Ido that with my purse and keys and rarely have trouble finding them. My phone is another story!

Hang it from her neck with a lanyard or those things some women wear to keep their glasses within easy reach.

I have the same problem. At first, I had to be very intentional about it. Now it’s become a matter of habit and muscle memory. If I’m out of the house and my keys are not hanging from my neck, it “feels wrong.” When I’m home, they hang from a hook. I make a habit of looking at them often, so I know where they are all the time, and it’s comforting to know where they are. Part of my bedtime ritual is checking to make sure my keys are on the hook.

I’m having to create a new habit with the mask.

She has to want to resolve this problem enough to own it herself. Tell her these suggestions and if she’s willing, help her find solution that works for her.

@mazingerz88 Why is she driving around ? If she is elderly she should be staying at home.

@Tropical_Willie Some of “elderly” people need to go out for essentials at times. It is not always an option.

She will go nuts staying at home. Can’t stop her. She’s at least willing to be as careful as much as she can remember how. And when.

Okay !

I went through a phase where I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on & I had no one to granny sit me. I drove myself crazy looking for my keys every time I needed to leave home. I finally bought myself one of those small wooden racks with 3 hooks on it & I had it mounted next to my door. Now, when I come in, I immediately hang my keys on one of the hooks, With now having to wear the mask to protect from the virus, I also hang my mask next to my keys. I also keep a small table next to my door & under the key rack where I place my purse, so everything that I need to take with me is right where I need it when I’m ready to go anywhere!!! I’ve also made it a habit to look back once I’m home to verify that my keys & mask are hanging on their hook & my purse is sitting on the table. I’m not going out very often right now & my system has come in handy as I wouldn’t be able to retrace my last time seeing any of them when it’s been over a week since I came in last.

IF you can get her into a habit of doing the exact same thing every time, her brain will kick in & make her ask herself, what did you just do different than you meant to do? It’s easier to remember immediately after than waiting even as little as a few hours!!!

She’s lucky to have you to help her with her tasks!!!

Awareness. Tell her to ask herself often (and especially when she moves about): What’s in my hand? or just more generally: What am I doing right now?

She doesn’t have to focus on remembering where a particular thing is. She has to pay better attention to what she is doing in the moment. Practice her Zen. Awareness: present-mindedness, not absent-mindedness.

During one depressed period, I was very forgetful. I locked myself out of my car several times. Even the humiliation of having to call my husband to come rescue me in Palo Alto didn’t beat it. My very young son suggested doing this: Ask yourself, “What’s in my hand?” I did it. Also promised myself not to get out of the car without my keys in my hand. End of problem.

At least, end of that problem.

Awareness has lots of other things going for it as well, like noticing you’re alive while you still are.

I agree only putting the mask in one of two places. I say two, because in the house I have a place for when it needs to be washed, and a place when they are clean. Maybe the two places are by the door or on a table where she puts groceries waiting to be degermified. She just must be committed to never wavering on putting the masks in one of those places.

I agree with @Jeruba also about awareness. It means taking the time to pause and question if one has everything they need. I remember the number when I live my house. For instance TWO, today I have two things I’m carrying. A purse and a mask. A different day it might be THREE, sunglasses, mask, purse.

Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that this is somehow your responsibility to help her with? This sounds like your friend’s issue, to me.

^^Not sure about weird. It could be an inconvenience to the point of exhaustion but doesn’t friendship involved taking some responsibility for a friend despite of course it’s her ultimate responsibility to look after herself?

@mazingerz88 Wanting to help a friend solve a problem isn’t weird. You’re not going over there and finding her mask every day.

I have a friend who lost his phone twice within six months. I made a suggestion for how he could keep from losing it, but he didn’t take my advice. You can’t force them to do what is suggested in the effort to help with the situation.

@mazingerz88, has the friend asked for help or advice?

I thought that one can’t re-use masks? I would buy a box of them and leave then on a table by the door.

^^ If it’s a fabric one, you can wash them between wearings.

@janbb Oh. Ok. Thanks.

@Jeruba No she hasn’t asked for anyone’s advice. And that’s the problem. She kept saying she doesn’t care whether she gets the virus and die from it.

But after 14 years of friendship I really think this is more about venting her frustrations in life. I still don’t think she means it when she says she’s ready to leave this world. Loneliness is her biggest problem these past few years.

But she does have issues concerning her memory functions. She gets defensive and irate when friends point that out just to remind. She does see a doctor and misses some appointments because she forgets.

@janbb No, I’m not going over her place to help look for her mask. I also asked her to pick-up at my place a second mask after she lost the first one I gave her.

There’s a recent development re grocery stores near us too. Only groups of ten are allowed in and you can’t go in unless you have a mask.

@mazingerz88 I’m assuming that is just a policy of the store? Can I ask where you live ?

I think it’s great that she has a friend like you.

@anniereborn I would also assume so. Though I haven’t checked our county website if directives been given. I’m in Maryland. :)

My mom said only ten are allowed in her usual supermarket, she is in Maryland too, Montgomery County.

In Miami, FL they put into place everyone must be wearing a mask while in the grocery stores, I don’t know if they are limited to a certain amount of people.

The states, and CDC for that matter, have been too slow to put rules into place for supermarket shopping. It’s terrible. Employees should have been wearing masks for a month now, especially cashiers and deli.

A ziploc and clothes with pockets. Abundant spares (my eyeglass solution) works well. Sometimes a set will be missing for weeks.

@JLeslie There’s a slight chance your Mom and I go to the same store. Thank you @janbb : )

This is really very simple, she should put the mask in something she will need before leaving home…her bra!
Would nestle cosily in a cup & when she reaches for her titty holder…breast idea :D

^^A device that one could easily manipulate to switch from bra to mask and vice versa would be nice.

Nah, that would make you look like a complete tit.