What does it mean when a girl says things like “help” and “I hate you” during sex?

First, you should be aware that according to Nancy Friday, rape is the second-most common sexual fantasy among women (the first being lesbianism). That’s not to say they enjoy being raped, since a rape fantasy is the exact opposite of an actual rape. In a real rape scenario you have no control; in a rape fantasy, you have total control to stop, edit, rewind, and rewrite the scenario.

Second, the Cannon-Bard theory of emotion holds that we consciously decide which emotion we’re feeling based on the unconscious physiological reactions of the body, which accounts for why people sometimes have seemingly irrational or even paradoxical emotional reactions. For example, women may be attracted to “bad boys” because the physiological reaction to fear (fast pulse, sweating, dilated pupils, trembling, etc.) is very close to the reaction caused by sexual attraction, causing people to misinterpret their body’s responses.

The combination of both of these factors is likely to explain her behaviour. The best thing you can do is ask about her deepest fantasies, as it may lead to rewarding exploration of her sexual needs.

Or she may be planning to have you arrested. You need to talk to her seriously. Maybe tape her the next time you two get together for sex.

@elbanditoroso He says in his details that it’s on tape, he showed her and she seemed surprised.
It sounds to me like she is having a fantasy while having sex and didn’t realize she spoke out loud. If it’s not a deal breaker, go with it and make more of her fantasies come true. If you are uncomfortable with it, talk to her and explain why.

She is totally digging it! And she hates you for being so good.

Women talk a lot during sex, often randomly.
Why, just the other night my wife began reading out a grocery list she had memorised.
Only when she got to the melons & plums was I put off my stroke :D

It makes me wonder if there isn’t something in her past she has blocked from memory.

I had a friend who told me her father molested her for years, and she had no recollection of anything. She only knew of it because he confessed to her. Even then she remembered nothing. He went to prison for it.
Apparently it happens quite a bit, that women have such memories blocked.

Yeah this could very possibly be a repressed trauma (or one she’s trying to repress) as @Patty_Melt said. I don’t think it’s a good idea to assume it’s a fantasy unless she explicity says so and it’s probably the kind thing to do to take extra care to be gentle and reassuring with her when you notice her saying or doing those things. Ask if she’d like to stop. And then stop if she says yes.
Repressed trauma is very very real and it’s more common than you’d think. The brain does remarkable things to get through something awful.

Sounds like a bad review to me.

@ANef_is_Enuf According to trauma counsellors, the single biggest problem rape victims experience is guilt over rape fantasies. Rape fantasies following sex abuse is extremely common, nearly universal, and that’s because in a fantasy you can rewrite and edit the experience. It’s the mind’s way of working through the trauma and finding ways to assert a feeling of control over it.

I would be very careful, as she could be selling those tapes on the side as porn, hence the weird outbursts?
Never allow someone to tape as in effect one is giving them permission to use it in whatever way they wish without one knowing that it could be distributed.

Hope that she isn’t planning on using it as evidence against him ( rape)?

@SmashTheState as i’m not a stranger to sexual trauma, I hesitate to agree that’s the “biggest problem” but I’m well aware that it exists. It still isn’t safe to act out rape fantasies with the wrong partner and can easily retraumatize a victim who is trying to process past experiences.

I don’t know what the fuck it means.
But speaking for myself, I would feel better about the whole thing if she said things like “I love you” or “Let’s get together tomorrow”

“Help?”
“I hate you?”
Truly weird shit. You can analyze it anyway you want to, but I would be out of there. Plus I would take the media that recorded it.

Thanks for your answers everyone. To touch on a couple things, she has mentioned a few times that her biggest fantasy is being taken advantage of by an intruder….. also, as for the tapes and selling them, that’s supposed to be my job….

It means she talks too much.