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lucillelucillelucille's avatar

How tall can a sandwich get before it is an amusement park ride?

Asked by lucillelucillelucille (34325points) April 29th, 2020

Overly stuffed deli or restaurant burgers drive me nuts.
How do you eat these things without making a colossal mess?
Do you use a fork and a knife when eating a hamburger?
What is your technique?

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35 Answers

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

My technique is I just don’t eat such monstrosities.

A big hamburger though I’ll get it lined up and push it all down firmly until it stops at some incompressible point which can be described as a hamburger singularity. Anything that came out the sides is collateral damage which is then removed and discarded.

ragingloli's avatar

Well, for example, I eat chicken wings while wearing rubber gloves.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me -I do practice Huge Sandwich Avoidance when I can but sometimes get surprised by the size.
I have tried a similar technique with the hamburger but am not very successful at keeping it off my clothes.Can’t take me anywhere XD

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ragingloli -Rubber gloves are an excellent idea!

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I get where you are coming from big exploding sandwiches drive me crazy, and would say anything over 4 inches high is an amusement ride I think the staff like watching people trying to eat those things neatly.
One reason I will never oder ribs out.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I pick out the meat and eat the rest if I am still hungry.

ragingloli's avatar

I also use knife and fork to carefully strip the meat off of the bones when eating chicken legs.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 -Me either.
Crab legs are always carry out or make at home because I channel Captain Caveman when I eat them.Not good

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 -So you reject the bun??

anniereborn's avatar

I try to squish them down and whatever falls out is just eaten along with the sandwich.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@anniereborn -I’d need to wear the rubber gloves. Ha ha!
I cant stand food on my hands, yet I’ll play with clay all day. :P

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille I try to eat some of the bun. If it is too difficult to eat then I chuck it.

ucme's avatar

When It’s a rollertoaster!
That gag was brought to you by notfunnyjustbad.com

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 -I understand that :)
@ucme-The link didn’t work :(

josie's avatar

I will occasionally use a knife and fork.
Unless it’s a ham sandwich.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@josie -Then what do you do?

YARNLADY's avatar

I open the sandwich, using the bun as an edible plate, eat with knife and fork.

kritiper's avatar

More than what can be held with two hands. Which would make it bigger than a Dagwood Derby.

josie's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille

Then I don’t worry about getting messy

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I made egg salad sandwich yesterday, three jumbo eggs with chopped onion and half a rib of celery finely chopped for two on toasted Deli Rye.
Knife and fork for sure.

ucme's avatar

My link did not work!?!
Strange…

stanleybmanly's avatar

I never knowingly order a sandwich taller than I can comfortably open my jaw, and if such an abomination arrives will take a knife and fork to it or reduce its vertical dimension through stripping it of offending layers.

JLeslie's avatar

For deli I take some of the meat out and bring it home for a half sandwich later. If it’s not a huge sandwich horizontally I sometimes ask for an extra piece of bread and eat a sandwich and a half, which might in the end be simply equal to a large sandwich, meaning the bread was large (but I don’t mean the bread was thick).

For a burger I usually cut it in half and squish down the bread. If it’s still very tall I do eat it with a fork and knife. I don’t generally order a lot of stuff on my burger. I would consider slicing the burger, the actual meat, in half horizontally too, but I’ve never done it. If the burger is just crazy big I take half home.

raum's avatar

Burger, knife and fork.
Deli sandwich, take out some meat.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@raum That is too sensible!

raum's avatar

Next time someone says I’m being insensible, I will use my sandwich eating methodology as an example to the contrary!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@raum -definitely! Throw it right in their face like a hamburger pie!!That’s all I’ve got
I have to draw the line at this

raum's avatar

I was singing That’s Amore to the 4yo the other day as we were admiring the moon. But I face palmed her at your eye.

She was not amused.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@raum -Haha! that move is called a Dean Martin.

raum's avatar

Totally sound more legit if there’s a name for it.

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