Is my dad invading my privacy?

Depending in your router, it is easy to have the router create a log of each and every outbound IP address (internet address) that you visit. It’s not all that hard to figure out where you have been from the IP address.

My router has an additional setting – a log of all uses of port 80 – the primary HTTP port, and port 443 (or 8080) which list all the websites that a person goes to.

Many routers (typically netgear) have an additional setting which is called “parental control management” or something like that which puts the log in an easy-to-view presentation for your dad.

Bottom line: it is super easy for a person like your dad to monitor your web use through the router.

Now -is he invading your privacy? That’s a whole different question. In most families, the parents make the rules. Talk to him about what you told us.

The answer is a clear yes. He is indeed invading your privacy. Your age more or less settles this issue from a legal standpoint as well as a parental responsibility. The terrifying snares lying in wait on the net compel any sensible parent to keep watch on their kid’s online activities. You must assume that you are being monitored (and should proceed accordingly). Meanwhile, I would assume that you will advance your computer skills to render your dad’s task as problematic as you believe the surveillance merits.

If you are 12, you live at home, and your dad pays the rent , then your privacy inside the home is pretty much what your dad says it is.

Yes, it is an invasion of your privacy. Is your dad wrong for doing it? No way, he’s doing it because he loves you and doesn’t want some psycho harming you. He could easily ban you from being on the internet altogether. That wouldn’t make you very happy either. You will understand everything he’s doing when you get married and have a 12 y/o who thinks she’s 20

If you have a good relationship with your Dad, talk to him about your feelings. He does have a right to check on you but maybe you can figure out some parameters together. If your brother gets involved too, that’s ok.

And by the way, we do have a minimum age of 13 for joining this site. Enjoy this freebie and please come back when you’re 13.

@janbb Well said.

Yes, it is an invasion of your privacy.

Your parents are legally allowed to invade your privacy.

It being legal doesn’t change how you feel about it.

Hopefully, you have a relationship with your parents such that you can tell them about your feelings and the impact of their behavior on you, and they will listen to what you say and talk to you about it in constructive ways and maybe even modify their behavior.

Yes, he’s invading your privacy but it’s for your own good, in ways that you may not realize at 12 years old. There are people out there who are predators and will message you and may pretend they are something that they are not. It’s called “catfishing.” They may say they are a young girl but it might be an old man who wants to trick you into speaking with him. It may be someone who pretends to be a young girl and then will ask you to buy iPhone gift cards for him or her. That happened to my daughter when she was 11. Someone from Instagram started messaging her and asking her about her name, her pets, etc. and then asked her to buy iPhone gift cards for them, because they said, “tomorrow is my birthday.” I had warned her about that type of thing happening, but after it happened, I had to use it as a teaching moment, and I made her block the person permanently. Even though I had warned her previously, she was gullible.

So those types of things are examples of what can happen, which your dad understands, and is “spying on you” for your own good.

@josie has it right.