Do racist people know that they're racist?

Not necessarily. And in fact, it’s likely that most racists not only don’t know they are racist but actively believe that they aren’t racist. As I’ve said before, racism isn’t just burning crosses or screaming racial slurs. It doesn’t require conscious feelings of hatred or hostility. And as our understanding of racism grows, we will start to see it in places where we haven’t seen it before.

Perhaps they do. Perhaps they don’t.
But if they are, then they are, no matter how the describe themselves.
People don’t often hang an unattractive label on themselves. It is others who do that.

Do they care? I would surmise that 99.9% of people like your BIL would justify what they are doing and see nothing wrong with it.

Often yes. It’s like a religion to many of them, just part of their life. They try to convert people, too.

If they know you agree with them, they are far more likely to admit or downright flaunt their racism. But many are really good at hiding it. Maybe a dot tattoo on their wrist, or a swastika, but passing them in Walmart you’d never know.
American History X had some great insights into the culture.

@Dutchess_III So you have not really spoke in 20 years??? A lot could have changed between now and then.

Some, assuredly, others, no.

I think this also depends on who you talk to. What you think racism is may or may not be very objective. I have heard people say wearing black masks for covid-19 is equivalent to blackface and racist. This is clearly absurd and not racist. Throw a rebel flag on the mask and that changes things. Most of us can distinguish between the two.

I’m in touch with my neices, their grown daughters who don’t share his beliefs @AreYouKidding. He has not changed.

My brother in law is also racist but sees it all through the “What?! I’m joking” lense If you call him on it, you’re accused of having no sense of humor.

Strangely, growing up, I knew far too many people like that. The “I’m not racist, but…” crowd.

Its one thing to know, its another to “feel” the hate.

Perhaps if “He” went to Europe he would “feel” what its like as in some countries they dislike Americans especially form the U.S.

Tourists from Europe told me once about a trip in another country ( Australia this time) where on a bus tour and marveling on the scenes it was the ‘rude Americans” that piped up stating “but in America it is far better ! ( to every stop of interest.)

Finally the rest of the patrons yelled in unison to the American tourists to shut up!

In Europe they are far more accepting of Cultures and differences than America.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. What would you say to children who get racism in inheritance from parents? I have seen so many such examples. Even small children pass the racist comments

You know Driving Miss Daisy suddenly came to mind. She was completely oblivious of the racism she displays.
“They all steal things.”
Assuming Morgan Freeman knew MLK because they’re both black.
The reality, though, was she cared deeply for her driver.