Once again, will you please favor me with your creative wit, #2?

I want to humorously make the point that I have a lot of matches.

Something like:
I have more matches than _____. (Fill on the blank.).
... more matches than match . com.
... more matches than the Diamond Match Company.
... more matches than ____.

You get the idea. Can you come up with some other examples?
Like the last time I asked for your help, humor is definitely encouraged!

Thanks!