If someone called you by accident (butt dial) and you heard them talking about you, and it was something they were mistaken about, would you bring it up to them?
Asked by
jca2 (
16826
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July 21st, 2020
The backstory: I’ve had two pedicures in my life. I’m not a “nail person” and I’m not one to go for mani/pedi’s and worry about how my nails look. My friend Pat loves pedicures. She often encourages me to get them, and I don’t care so much about it and I don’t usually have time for it. I’ll paint my toenails myself (which I did recently), and most of the time my fingernails are bare.
She told me about a new nail salon in her town that has an offer, buy one pedicure, get one free. I told her to see if they will give her something for referring another client, and then I would go there and she’d get whatever they offer her.
She just “butt dialed” me and when I said hello, I heard her telling her husband that I said to see if they give her a kickback, and that she knows I want the kickback. Her husband said something agreeing.
If you were me, would you tell the person (my friend Pat) that you overheard what she said, and she is mistaken? or just let it go?
I’m kind of surprised she thinks I’m looking for something free from her. That wasn’t my intention at all.
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8 Answers
I’d tell her. You have nothing to lose.
Yes, friendships are worth an uncomfortable conversation and you don’t want her thinking you’re a cheapskate or something. Good luck, let us know how it goes if you do it. :)
Your first answer here nailed it!
Were I in your shoes, I wouldn’t bother to mention it unless she brings the subject up again. At which point, you should not bother embarrassing your friend with the butt dialed revelations, but let her know that you detest salon nonsense.
Is this Pat a good friend? If you feel comfortable with your relationship in general, I would bring it up. I would also say how I feel – which in my case would be hurt and surprised.
If she’s more of an acquaintance, I’d be inclined to just ignore it. For a good friend, the uncomfortable conversation is worth it.
Maybe you can clarify without saying you overheard her conversation. Maybe text or call her in a day and say, “did the salon say you will get a referral bonus, if so I am still willing to get a service so you can get the bonus.” She still might interpret wrong if she has her mind set on the idea that you want the bonus. This sort of thing happens to me all too often with my husband’s family. They like to think I am trying to take advantage when I am actually trying to help them. It’s very frustrating.
I think it is ok to say you heard the conversation and explain what you really meant, but she might not believe you. My SIL would not believe me, but I don’t know your friend.
I believe you. Your original intention seemed clear to me.
Don’t bother with the pedicure probably. Why risk covid and a nail infection, and why pay for something you don’t care about.
This happened to me once. As someone who is normally comfortable with bringing up confrontational matters that, in my opinion, need to be addressed, at least in my mind, it still took several years before the occasion arose, because it was my beloved older sister.
Over the years, I’ve learned that these type of scenarios should either be let go or brought up at appropriately, meaning timely, sincerely, and specifically. Preferably, it should be shared privately.
To answer the question, here are some things to consider:
- How important is this issue to you?
– Can you let it go and move on?
– If she has seen you with painted nails and not knowing the source, might she interpret it as some sort of slight to her offer?
– What is at risk if she is confronted about the occurrence?
Heck yes. You heard it, it was about you, why not speakup.
Except I wouldn’t mention the butt dial piece. Let the person just wonder how you knew. It will drive them nuts.
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