Would you cheat on your spouse?

I was married for five years. I didn’t cheat and never thought of cheating,

I wouldn’t cheat but I may agree to an open relationship.

My reason is that I’m not made to be devious, my moral code prohibits it, and I don’t have the desire to change my entire life or hurt people for momentary physical pleasure.

No

Thanks, @YARNLADY that was heavily inciteful.

I can honestly say that, throughout 29 years of marriage, I’ve never been the least bit tempted to cheat on Paul. He’s kind, loving, and attentive; I have zero incentive to look elsewhere.

I was tempted, but did not, even when my marriage was failing.

I won’t get married again unless either rtes relationship is only monogamist or is not completely closed, or I am dead certain I won’t wish to step out.

I would not cheat on my wife — not just because it’s terrible and I wouldn’t do that to my favorite person, but affairs just seem like way too much work. See, I’m trustworthy and lazy.

No. I was married for 10 years. He went out on me a LOT. I never cheated on him.

There are many different kinds of cheating on a spouse. There is the kind we generally think of which is physical sex with another person. I never did that nor contemplated it. But there are more subtle forms of cheating such as flirting or getting close with someone online because one is dissatisfied with one’s marriage. I was guilty of emotional cheating at times when I was married and it contributed to the end of my marriage – among many other factors. Emotional cheating can be rationalized but it is still a distancer from the marriage.

No, I would not. My wife and I are non-monogamous, but our relationship still has rules. Fidelity for us consists in adhering to those rules (and cheating would consist in violating those rules). In the nearly 20 years that we’ve been together, however, I’ve never even come close to violating the rules (despite having had a handful of opportunities).

Like @KNOWITALL, it’s just not in me to do something like that. But also, I married my wife because I love her and want to be with her for as long as we both shall live (as the saying goes). It’s not worth the risk, it’s not worth the pain it would cause, and there’s just no one so tempting that violating the rules is a remotely attractive option.

@SavoirFaire I’m curious now. So what does “non-monogamous” mean to you?

@janbb “Non-monogamy” is an umbrella term that technically covers any sort of relationship that isn’t monogamous, though I tend to use it only for relationships that are consensually non-monogamous.

@SavoirFaire Yes, I knew what the word means but what I asked is what it means to you given that you are describing being completely committed to your wife.

@janbb I guess I don’t understand the question, then, because there isn’t any conflict between being completely committed to someone and being consensually non-monogamous with them. Or at least there need not be. My wife and I are together. We plan to be together forever. We are also sometimes with other people. Since neither of us requires monogamy as a condition of commitment, our non-monogamy in no way compromises our commitment to one another.

Are you asking for the details of our relationship, like whether or not it is hierarchical?

Negative. I consider cheating one of the worst things ever.

But I watched one of my best best friends ever die of AIDS back in the 80’s. My mom used to wash the LEGO we played with in bleach after he left the house. Because Regan.

So sex transmitted stuff isn’t just a relationship thing. It is attempted murder.

I’ve never been married but it’s tough to say what I would never do unless I were actually in the circumstances which might make it possible or tempting. For example, if I were married for a long time and miserable or feeling neglected, then who knows? Maybe. Maybe if my husband was cheating or if he was terrible, then perhaps. One might say well, if the husband was so terrible, then why not just get divorced? That’s a whole rabbit hole of “what ifs.” I’m just looking at possibilities and my answer is “maybe.”

I’d like to think that I wouldn’t.

But I feel like it’s hubris
to say I would not.

@janbb That emotional cheating happened to me in a previous relationship. I feel I could have dealt with physical cheating easier, emotionally. Great point.

Cheating on a spouse is like committing social suicide.

@SavoirFaire I understand now.

Never! I wouldn’t want them to cheat on me so I’ll extend the same consideration to them. (It’s the Golden Rule thing.)

No, there would be no point in me having a spouse if I were going to cheat behind their back. I’d rather just be honest with them if I had some other feelings.

Depends on who is flirting with me. Reba or Dolly Parton.