Puns friends or foes?

As long as every other sentence doesn’t contain one I enjoy them. Too many gives me a headache.
I imagine this thread will be full of puns. I will abstain from making one.

What do I think? I think that last weekend I went to a seafood disco
...and pulled a mussel.

I loveeeeeee puns. Go on here and watch the episode of flapjack called Pun Times. Great Ep.

I am often guilty of making puns.

You should talk to JackAdams and Stratman…you’ll lurve each other!

Stand-up comedian KIP ADDOTA recorded WET DREAM with all kinds of puns in it.

Play it and listen to it, more than once.

September 5, 2008, 1:06 AM EDT

JA- Did you not look at my link?

Thanks for mentioning my old friend Kip Addotta! Another Rockfordian (IL) who done good!

I bow to the Bard.

@Sueanne Tremendous: Kip is also mentioned here:

http://www.fluther.com/disc/21982/of-all-the-tv-game-shows-you-have-ever-seen-which/

September 5, 2008, 9:15 AM EDT

I like puns a lot.

I don’t like puns at all.

I love them!

I won’t enter laundromats, because I have been told that I could DYE in one!

My buddy owned a laundromat, but due to poor financial decisions, it FOLDED.

His Kentucky father had LINT him the money to get it started. (According to him…)

And, can you imagine having a laundromat, that is located in a DRY county?

My buddy’s favorite TV show (in the 1950s) was “RINSE TIN TIN.”

Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat? A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.

Forgive me, but I must now leave. Another buddy is calling me from prison. He is using a CELL phone…

September 5, 2008, 10:01 AM EDT

That was very punny! Babo laugh!

Babo good to laugh. Babo do good things.

September 5, 2008, 3:29 PM EDT

Here’s one:

I wanted to be a fisherman for the halibut, but I floundered. I couldn’t live off my net income.

Puns do not equal wit. And they both are better in small doses and should be original and not derivative. And if one has written a good pun, he doesn’t need to broadcast it by saying “no pun intended.”

Any violators of the above rule should be pun-ished.

AC: I’m sending thorny branch to you, UPS, for immediate self-flaggelation. Instructions included. GAG

On June 8, 1972, Alfred Hitchcok was interviewed on the Dick Cavett Show and commented about puns, after making one. Here’s the clip of that segment.

September 6, 2008, 11:29 AM EDT

edit: flagellation

edit: self-flagellation

You mean flatulation?
And please don’t use the initials UPS when addressing me. They’re the enemy.

AC; not up to your usual high standards :-(

I wasn’t aware I had standards.

Sorry about UPS ( thought it was a time zone). I forgot; is Fed-Ex on your hit list too?

Definitely, even thought USPS has a contract with them. I actually prefer UPS to FedEx as UPS is union and pays their employees well.

I once wrote some ad copy for FED-EX, about how they didn’t want to mention their competitor by name, but had to note that FED-EX was an UPStanding company, and wasn’t like some UPStart companies that try to compete, but can’t, and that it UPSets FED-EX to be an UPScale company, having to compete with one of lesser quality. And, it must be noted, that some FED-EX locations in flood-prone areas are located UPStairs from the ground floor, to prevent packages from getting wet, and that was the whole UPShot to this message, without mentioning their competitor by name, and giving them any free publicity.

You will find, if you visit ANY FED-EX facility, that no manager ever engages in any company coverUPS, provides plenty of ketchUPS in the employee cafeterias, encourages their staff to have regular medical checkUPS, and always, without any exceptions, to act as grownUPS, unlike their competitors, whose name they will not mention, ever.

September 6, 2008, 2:19 PM EDT

Well, all I can tell you is that FedEx isn’t UPStanding when it comes to wages, benefits or job security.

A good additional question would be: why do some people get irritated by puns.

maybe they don’t find them punny .

yes, nina, that’s a good question. Why do people groan at puns? What makes them offensive or painful to hear?

When a jet aircraft made a particularly rough landing at the Kansas City, Missouri airport, several years ago, a FA told the passengers, over the PA system, that, “We apologize for that very rough landing, but want to let you know that it was the condition of the runway that caused it. It was not the aircraft’s fault and it was certainly not the pilot’s fault; it was the ASPHALT!”

hehehehe good one Jack adams

I forgot to add that it was a true story, because I was on that flight in 1968, when it occurred.

AH i totally forgot to post this here. One of my favorite webcomics oddfish has its jokes based mostly around puns. Love it.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has be en found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a-head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes in-verse.

22. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

23. When the cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

@ JackAdams – Dude you are on fire!

You know what a group of deaf people is called?

A HEARD!

@Jack; Is there an echo in here? How about sending the links rather than the long text, please,

My post of the 24 puns (above) did not have a link, unfortunately.

It arrived in my e-mail, exactly as shown (above) and was publicly posted via “cutting and pasting,” at/on September 15, 2008, 4:06 AM EDT according to the time/date stamp, appearing directly beneath it (as you can now see).

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

I dunno jack I felt it was a nice light airy break from the heavy thick multi paragraph political writing we have been seeing.

Better read the previous stuff, before you begin, Stratman…

And we will have a CHAT, MAN

someone pick the topic and watch Jack and I bring the house down!

we MUST take turns!

I’ll take my tern from the sea!

Look at it’s feet. Is it a LEFT TERN or a RIGHT TERN?

don’t start politics in here!

A cross between a sheep and that kind of bird would be a EWE TERN!

Jack, you’re so BAAAAAAD!!

He said, “Sheepishly”

as he pulled the wool over your eyes

When I was in Las Vegas 2 years ago, I asked a guy where LAMB BLVD was, and he said, “It is BAAAAAAAAAAAACK there!”

this is SHEER torture! Now you’ve got me on the LAMB.

Probably because someone CLIPPED you in traffic

a guy runs up to knock on the door of a farm house. a small boy answers. the guy says, ‘son, let me use your phone. there’s a man out in the field molesting sheep. the boy says: ‘oh, that’s just DAAAAAAD!

LOL! Here’s your favorite song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRHMiz06VRo

way to RAM it home, Jack!

Would a EWE wear SHEAR pantyhose?

thanx for MUTTON! I bet the girls just FLOCK to your side!

I guess when this topic is exhausted I will have gotten your GOAT, and I am not KIDDING!

I wouldn’t STEER you wrong, and that’s not the CALF of it!

Oh BULL!

Party FOAL

I can make you COW TOW to my will!

I’m going to the Playboy mansion to see Hugh HEIFER.

To a VEGETARIAN, i guess NO MOOS, is GOOD MOOS

How does that make you VEAL?

You really know how to HERD my feelings, don’t ya?

Do you have HOOF and mouth disease?

Hopf IN mouth disease, for the US Congress!

Don’t BOAR me with the details

Hoof in

Hey! Quit trying to HOG this website!

I’m picking up my BREEDER’S digest

Remember that TV series about the flying pig? STY KING?

There really is such a publication!

that’s SWINE with me!

Oh, all i can say is, when I win this, it will be TROUGH SHIT for you!

quit HORSIN’ around!

I knew a pig who lived on a RURAL ROOT!

You can’t HIDE from me!

The Pig’s son was in the Marines, as a GRUNT!

to err is human, to forgive BOVINE

He was from Georgia. You know, MACON BACON was how he was conceived….

stop being imMANURE.

I don’t think I have the STOMACHS FOUR all these cow references

that last one just GRAZED you

You are UTTERLY useless!

You can pun all you want, but you will never CORRAL the laughs I get

you’re MILKING this for all it’s worth

My puns are the CREAM of the ouns

Don’t forget to STAMPede that letter.

puns

I had a girlfriend with a BUTTER face. Every about her was nice, BUTTER face!

CHEESE! Don’t get mad!

BREAK! phone call

hold on, darn it

BREAK! gotta do a little work

Never mind, the call was from some Chinese guy I did not know. It was a WONG number.

I’m sure you do as LITTLE work, as possible….

[mod says:] The Q is about whether you like or dislike puns in general. A few examples to support your answer is acceptable, writing many quips with just puns is not. Let’s stay on-topic. Thank you!

To answer the actual Q, I am not a big fan of puns. I can take them in small dosages. I blame my AP Physics teacher for this. He was an avid fan of puns and scarred our class for life. Sentences like “Today we will talk about tension, hope none you are feeling this right now…hehehhehe!” elicited many a groan :)

Oh. Alrighty then. I LOVE puns. In general.

Damn! I was loving that back and forth. Excellent, creative punnage. Tonnage of punnage.

Trusting – tell it to shilolo!

The author of this Q wrote, quote, ” I appriciate when others make puns cause of the wit involved.”

At least what we did was “appreciated” by someone and we did stay “on topic.”

But, I shall cease and desist, even if someone posts a Q that says, “Would two people like to have a pun war on this thread?”

(So much for free speech, Stratman37)

@JA – A question specifically asking for a pun war warrants the back and forth puns. On the same note, it is true that the author said that s/he appreciates puns, but he did not ask for them in this thread. I am sure he/she would appreciate it if you would PM him/her with puns. That way you will help brighten more than one person’s day while preventing others who are following this Q from having to come back to it every time someone posts a new pun.

I would like to remind everyone that if they are unsure of any of the Fluther rules/guidelines for posting on threads, they should not hesitate to PM one of the moderators and ask them. Also, so as not to threadjack, if you would like to discuss this specific thread/problem any further, please PM me instead of posting here. Thank you.

Forgive me, if any of these are reruns on this thread, and except my apologies:

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at-large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Well folks thanks for all your contributions. I must say I rather enjoyed the back and forth. I never would have thought that all you fluthering folks out there were full of so many puns.