What thoughts do you not allow yourself to have?

That life would be better if I were still married.

That I cast the sink spell from Dungeons and Dragons on a class mate in grade 5 and he is still trapped in the center of the earth.

That if I just tried harder to be a better daughter I could reconcile with my mother.

Memories of stupid stuff I’ve said and done.

That everything was my fault.

That I can retroactively change my past.

I don’t allow self pity or fear. If I’m hurt, maybe one night of ‘feels’ but next morning I square my shoulders and move forward.

The ones I tend to resist the most are judgments about others or thinking too highly of myself.

~That If I was more humble then I would be better than everyone else.

I have to make myself stop thinking about my moms last few months of life and all the things I could have done better for her.

Revenge daydreams.
I want to forgive all those who have wronged me, or hurt me.

I try to lay off the negative thoughts. I’ll be 70 in January and believe me I’ve screwed up many many times. When ever I catch myself beating myself up over something wrong that I did decades ago I tell myself it’s done and there’s nothing that I can do about it now. Just move on and learn from it. It works for a while but the black cloud of the past seems to follow me wherever I go.

I make it a habit that IF it is something over which I have NO control, I don’t dwell on it & move on to a happier thought!!!

I have OCD so I don’t usually get a choice, but if possible I try not to focus on regrets because it’s so incredibly pointless and counter-productive. But every now and then I can’t help it.

Sometimes I think it would be better if I was accepted in high school.

But then I think it would also mean losing the people I have now, so I stop.

That if I had a different childhood I’d be happier or more content now. There is no guarantee of that, so it’s a foolish thought.

That it will all end badly. This one is more of a vague sense of dread that, if I allow it to stick around, turns into anxiety and panic.

That my wife and daughter will simply leave one day. In a bad moment, I’m thoroughly convinced I’ll end up alone, living in my car. I even have numerous contingency plans that regularly run through my head, almost daily, just in case.

These three are my regulars that creep in either in the middle of the night or if I’m way over stressed.

Oh. That just maybe my kids would have been better off if I’d never divorced their Dad.

I spiraled into a cesspool of poverty after that and I kick myself for not even attempting to get back on at Boeing.

When I lost my job as the Special Market’s administrator at Rubbermaid why didn’t I apply at one of the dozens of other manufacturers for a similar and stable job?

Just do this

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