OK, I’ll satisfy your curiosity, once and for all time, but you must PROMISE me that you won’t tell anyone else, ever, because this is a real secret, and I don’t want anyone else but YOU knowing…
I am originally from the planet QUERTZL, in the Zaluvian Galaxy, many light-years away from this planet, and I am doing research regarding Earthlings, who were actually transplanted here from my own home planet, many thousands of years ago, which explains why we look just like the humanoids on Earth.
As part of my being here in a research capacity, I have to document, for my superiors, all of my actions, creating a kind of super-detailed diary of everything I do, so they have proof-positive, that I’m not wasting my time with frivolous Earth-type pursuits, such as visiting a Nevada brothel.
My time/date indicators supply part of that proof to my superiors on my home planet, that I am indeed wasting my time on intellectual pursuits, and in the hopes that I will become a better humanoid.
You see, beings from our own planet were placed here, as a kind of social experiment, and we on the home planet must periodically travel here to see how our original seeds have grown and prospered, from those who came here, eons ago.
So, when my superiors see the printed pages from all of my questions and answers (with the times and Earth-date noted), they will be able to know exactly what I was doing (and when), every hour of every day, and I’ll be able to collect my weekly paychecks, without any encumbrances.
I’m trusting you with this information, and hope that you won’t tell anyone else, because those of us from my planet, don’t want other Earthlings to know what we are doing, nor what we have planned for your future.
You are an interesting race of beings, and the one thing that we on my planet admire most about all of you, is that you appear to be at your BEST, when things are at their worst.
BTW, Babo, you’d be amazed at how many civilizations like yours, exist in the Universe. You are not alone.
Remember: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
September 5, 2008, 3:47 PM EDT