How do I prepare myself emotionally for something I really don't want to do?

It’s good that you’re reaching out for professional support. I also might suggest finding peer support, maybe something online. If you have a good, supportive, trusted loved one to help you through this that is good too- but if your support system has a history of being wishy washy or making you feel worse sometimes, i’d skip that entirely and look to people who have experience with this specifically for the time being.

5,4,3,2,1 grounding exercises (simple to learn if you aren’t familiar, you can Google for instructions.) Very useful to practice and can be done anywhere, including if you get overwhelmed in a court settling.
Prepare yourself, but don’t let your mind get carried away with thinking about it. Try to distract your brain with more pleasant things that encourage you to focus and stay present because it can be easy to overthink and then get emotionally activated. Valid to feel, but can make it more complicated if you’re trying to practice being composed while facing some of this and it is actually helpful to practice being able to move into a calmer state while recalling certain memories.
Self care. Might seem silly, but deliberately trying to relax and take time to do nice things for yourself will help keep you centered while thinking or talking about what happened.
You might want to write down important things, it’s easy to forget details or significant factors when we’re stressed.

Disclaimer: I’m not a legal professional. I’ve been in family court a few times, though.

I’d recommend a little bit of rehearsal. Probably the women’s center can help you with this. Practice answering the kind of question you’re likely to be asked in court. Practice sticking to pertinent facts and not rambling.

Marshal your facts ahead of time, too. Know which specific incidents you want to cite and when they happened, especially if there’s a pattern.

You don’t want to sound rehearsed, of course, but neither do you want to sound baffled, confused, and uncertain. Stick to your own words. If there’s some special keyword you want to be sure to use, though, I’m sure your women’s center counselor will tell you (for example, and it’s just an example, “afraid for my life”).

You won’t be the first person who ever cried in a courtroom, but you also don’t want to blubber your head off while the judge gets impatient.

If they offer to have an advocate accompany you, you’ll say yes, won’t you?

Oh, and if the defendant has an attorney or representative present, don’t talk to them. In fact, don’t talk to anybody there without knowing who they are.

You can do this. Good luck.

@Jeruba I do have an advocate and I am doing a trial prep thingy to answer questions. I will not talk to his attorney at all.

That’s good. For me, the feeling of preparedness, as well as of knowing something about what I’m in for, is what helps me feel emotionally ready to face the thing. Same when I have to give a presentation, do an interview, anything where I’m on (what feels to me like) a hot seat. Being prepared makes all the difference.

This might not help you, but it did help me: if you can, go visit the courthouse ahead of time. Sit through a couple of hours of courtroom stuff when you’re not on the calendar, just to see what it looks like, get a feel for the drill, see where the restrooms are, and so on.

Again, I didn’t want to look like I was used to being in courtrooms, but I also didn’t want everything to feel weird all at once.

His lawyer, will likely be very harsh.
He/she, will probably try to ask embarrassing questions, and humiliate you.
Speak very frankly, with your attorney, and tell them your concerns.
Remember that this guy, needs to face the ramifications, of what he’s done. Keep in mind that he will probably do the same thing, to other girls, if he beats the case. So. You aren’t just doing this for you.
Life is full of things that you won’t want to do.
Soldier up. And put this guy away.
It will all be a distant memory.
But. You’ll be a stronger person, and make this a better world, if you do it right.
I believe in you. You can do this, and everything will be better, when it’s done.

This will be a defining moment. Either you define the moment, or, it will define you.

Define the moment…

The District Attorney should meet with you and go over questions he or she will ask, and questions the defense attorney will likely ask, and the DA should tell you how you should respond (only answer the question asked, don’t ramble on, etc.).

Realize that saving another from the same circumstances by testifying and doing the right thing ( good motivator)

I am not a lawyer.

I’ve never testified in court, but I have been deposed. I’d say a little practice might be helpful or at least what questions will be asked. Sounds like you are going to do that.

One thing that I did was I did not let the lawyer pressure me into answering yes or no when neither fit. I also more than once restated a question so the answer was in my words. The lawyer asked me a question wanting a yes or no, and I answered, “I would describe it as x.” Instead of answering yes or no. Something along those lines.

The oath you take will likely have you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If they try to corner you you can use that to say, “I was sworn to tell the WHOLE truth and if I answer yes or no to that question it will not characterize the entire truth of the situation.” I’d only pull out that last part in a desperate situation because it might sound coached.

Obviously, be truthful. Try your best to let go of thinking anyone is judging you if that is part of your fear, I hope it isn’t.

Everyone in that room is just another person. You could be on the jury as easily as you are on the witness stand. My experience with judges is they are reasonable, care about victims, and the law. Possibly, the person helping you knows a little about the judge.

Let us know how it goes.

I forgot to say @jca2 is right, don’t ramble on or bring up points not asked. I know I said don’t feel forced into a yes or no answer, but also balance that with don’t elaborate too much if you feel you must put something in your words. Often times the yes or no is ok, they get you on a roll, but then ask a question that isn’t really a yes or no. If they get an answer they don’t like they will push you and reword things to try to get you to the answer they want. You just stick to your truth.