In a relationship dispute, who should say sorry, the one who is wrong or the ones who are right?

Each person should give in 60% of the time.

It is best if both can say sorry. A wound will close faster if it is healing from both sides.

Well if it went into a full-blown argument than they should both say sorry. In my opinion, though the one that should apologize first is the one whose feelings are not hurt. What I mean by that, is sometimes someone can have a small disagreement. Lets say over toothpaste or the toilet seat. So say the spouse complains about the toilet seat being up because they have had more than one mishap in the middle of the night because they were still half asleep. That person may feel that the other person doesn’t care if they come to harm. Now the other person brings up the toothpaste cap not being on. Well you know it can annoy the other person but it’s not like they will get hurt by it. So the one with the toilet seat has two grievances. First that they get hurt, and second that the other person doesn’t value their welfare. That person is going to be disturbed about that second point. It makes you wonder if that person cares about you at all. The toothpaste is an annoyance but it’s not on the same level of hurt feelings. Or at least it shouldn’t be. So reverse the argument. The toothpaste person bought up the toothpaste grievance first. Well, the toilet person will still be more upset. So, the toothpaste person should apologize first. (I couldn’t think of a better example and in this case, they should both apologize and work to do better, but take it to something higher and the one who is hurt most in the argument should not always have to apologize if they were really wrong. Depending on the argument some things can’t be fixed with an apology. Especially if very ugly things were said.

The one who was the bigger ass.

I must be missing something. Why should the person who is right have to apologize? They should graciously accept the other person’s apology and offer support.

The person who is wrong should apologize. It’s also important to remember: Would you rather be right or in relationship? Is this a “hill to die on”?

Sometimes it’s not clear cut. Sometimes it’s a misunderstanding or some compromise needs to be made. They should discuss and each party should be willing to admit their shortcomings and profess a willingness to change in the future. If it’s something where one person definitely did something wrong and the other had no idea (like one spent a large amount of money on something stupid like gambling and the other had no clue), then maybe they should see a therapist to discuss some underlying issues and figure out why this occurred and what needs to be done for the future.

@LostInParadise Sometimes the person who becomes the person to escalate the argument. Then it puts them in the wrong as well. Being right in a relationship isn’t all that matters. Being respectful in disagreement is also necessary. Elevated tempers only make both sides believe they were right. When I first got married I started to write letters than hash things out in an argument when my temper was high. I would carefully write how I felt about things that may upset me and reread my note before giving in to my husband. I would read the words and pretend I was him and look for sentences that would put me on the defensive if it were written to me. Sometimes I had to write it a couple of times or wait till I was calm before writing it.

The goal in a relationship should always be long term maintenance, not short term wins. It would be like taking ripping your car battery out of your car without taking care about where you put the cables or even if you even need a new battery, just because your car won’t start. You might be right about it being the battery but most people would try to make that battery last and give it a jump first to see if it works. Messing up the connections could be costly down the road and maybe really mess up the car, or relationship. . .

A person can be right about a particular point but wrong in the way they behave, in which case an apology is in order.

I’m with @Pandora on this, if a disagreement has turned into an argument has turned into a fight, everybody has reasons to apologize.