What would be your response to a friend who, it seems, is bragging an awful lot?

Gosh. I trust your instinct….but I don’t know what you can do except grin and bear it. There is nothing you could say or do to change her behavior. That kind of bragging is a sign of insecurity, BTW.

If you only ever hang out with her when the kids hang out I would just not say anything. If you guys hang out on separate occasions and maybe knew each other before you had kids I might say something because there is already a strong friendship and she may take it better, but otherwise just let it go. Seems like a touchy subject to try to bring up

I wouldn’t say anything. People act like that because they feel “less than” and then get offended if you call them on it. It is one of those traits that the community learns about quickly, and better to stay out of any kerfuffle that erupts.

And it works better when your daughter shines at something real, and you can mention it.

Sounds like she’s proud. Be delighted that your daughter’s friends have a mom who notices them and is proud of them. Think about the other side: what if she was constantly saying things like “They’re so stupid! They can’t even figure out (thing)!” and “They’re so clumsy, they fail at the most basic gymnastic moves!”

Bragging really isn’t awful.

Sounds like the braggart could run for president.

Is her name Karen?

What if you just said “You win”? If she weren’t trying to one-up everybody all the way, it might give her pause. I would definitely not compete with her, in any case.

That could be misconstrued as the insult that it is @Jeruba! ~

My mom used to brag on us kids. Never to us, but to other people. She could never compliment us or really pay any attention to us, so I think it was her way to let us know she was proud of us without saying so. I don’t see anything wrong with bragging on your kids.

I think the best is to let her have her moment. People who brag out of the blue probably need some sort of approval or to feel better than others. It would be different if you were on the topic anyway or specifically asking her about those things.

If she is bragging I’d just smile and say, “that’s great,” and maybe change the subject. If you want to play along you could give her a compliment or something nice about her kids, but I can completely understand how the whole thing can get annoying and that feeling of wanting to tell her “yeah yeah your kids are perfect, I got it.” Don’t do it! Lol.

Do you feel she is specifically trying to one up your daughter? Like her girls are better than your daughter? That’s not nice. She sounds like a “princess.” Annoying.

That diva comment I think I might say how glad I am my daughter isn’t like that. Just for one little dig. You could ask her what she is doing about it to make sure the girls don’t get too self centered. Show her some concern that it must be difficult dealing with that.

She will tell me “They’re little divas! They have to get a gel manicure every three weeks. It costs me $60 each to get their nails done. That’s $120 every three weeks!” I think next time she says that, I’ll tell her I’m happy my daughter doesn’t want gel manicures because she’s saving me money.

Her twins were getting professional manicures since they were toddlers. In my opinion that’s unnecessary but of course people spend their money how they want to.

One time when she said “My girls are very athletic” I said with all sincerity “that’s wonderful.” I don’t know if she took it as I was being sarcastic or what. I wasn’t. I felt “that’s wonderful” was a great response.

Why does it bother you, @jca2?

@jca2 If someone said to me they were giving their girls manicures as toddlers I would probably ask “why.“ That’s absurd to me. I wouldn’t say out loud it’s absurd to me. One manicure for fun as some sort of special treat maybe, like a $5 paint job at a birthday party, or maybe for a flower girl in a wedding.

I wouldn’t pay $120 every 3 weeks for my daughters to get gel manicures, I would buy them nail polish, they can do their own nails. Maybe teen manicures where you live is commonplace though.

My niece (on my husband’s side) started getting manicures fairly young. I don’t remember when she started doing it regularly. Maybe she was still in high school, I know she was doing it while in college.

My husband’s family can be very superficial though, from a macho culture, and those cultures tend to emphasize women as objects and to judge people based on their looks, clothing, with a lot of pressure to spend money to keep up with the Jones’. The first thing they do when they meet someone is talk about how well dressed they were and imply they are good people because they are well dressed.

I think the mom is justifying her own expenditures on nails and whatever else. Does she get the manicure also?

Do you feel like she is judging you or your daughter when she says these things? Putting you down? I feel that way sometimes with my in-laws, but I don’t care, because their way of thinking puts them in a bad financial situation.

It would bother me too @jca2. But, like I said, it happens due to a deep seated insecurity on her part. Nothing you can do about that.
My ex used to brag on himself a lot…..for that same reason.

“What’s up with you? Did you get laid last night??”