Do you think people should be able to have wedding receptions during covid?

I might, if it was feasible. Unfortunately I don’t think this is going to be effective, at least in my country. A big room like that cost tons of money, and many people in my country simply can’t afford it. And those with enough money for that kind of big room would invite a lot of people, including their relatives and friends and maybe even coworkers. And that doesn’t count the people who help with the wedding like MC or waiters. A lot of people will be left out if the 50-people limit is applied. And some people just don’t like the idea of having to distance, which means no hugs or handshakes allowed.

I don’t know about the US but this is how things would go in my country. The social distancing is being slowly lifted now, but some places with more than 30 people are still not allowed to run. And that includes wedding.

@Mimishu1995 In America sometimes you pay for the room and sometimes there is no separate fee for the room you just pay per person for the food.

The hotels have these rooms sitting empty right now, they pay for their entire building whether there is a party or not. Seems like any revenue is better than none as long as the cost of the staff and the food for the party is covered. With so little businesses happening putting a group of 50 in the big room doesn’t really cost the hotel or other venues anything more except a little more air conditioning and lights maybe.

Not allowed in my state if it is over 25 people.

PO-PO may show up and issue a citiation to each and all in the room. The owner’s may lose their food and liquor license for a period of time like 60 days.

PEOPLE ARE DYING !

Covid is going to be with us for some time, so if all safety protocols are met ,sure have the reception .

No, for the same reason I gave on the sports question.

@Tropical_Willie Does the room have to be a certain size for the 25 max? Is there any requirements for spacing people and tables?

I would attend one outdoors. Not indoors. To me, putting masks on and off for various activities indoors is no fun, nor is sitting masked for hours any fun.

I do feel bad for people who wanted to get married during this time and have a big reception. I can see how it would be a dilemma. I think an alternative is to have a small gathering and then in the future, in a few years, if they are determined and can spare the money, have a party then.

No I would not attend.

@JLeslie group gatherings; just changed to 25 indoors was 10. Any size room when indoors.

No, I would not and have not attended anything like that this year.
People can’t get it through their heads that people are dying because of these type of events. 200,000 dead in the US so far. Is it really worth dying for, or being debilitated the rest of your life to go see a cousin get married?

There was a wedding in Maine earlier in the summer and 7 people have died as a result of attending. Other people who did not attend have been sickenedby the spread. I don’t know what protocols were followed. Whatever rules you put in place are sure to be violated by a few even if unintentionally.

I went to a picnic from my congregation last week and even though rules were in place most people stood closer to talk. We are not going back to the Meeting House til a year from now.

No, this is crazy. Lock it the fuck down unless you want the economy to melt!

@Tropical_Willie That’s the sort of thing that makes no sense to me. Right now in Florida I think we are allowed 50% capacity, so you can’t just pack 25 people into a 25 person place. It would have to have capacity for at least 50. 25 in a 50 capacity would still probably be too close for comfort for me, it would have to be much bigger and masks. I’m inclined to think I probably wouldn’t go.

@jca2 I would go to an outside event also if the host stressed on the invitation there will be social distancing. I don’t know if I would eat. I have only eaten take-out from restaurants that I can heat up before eating. I would definitely dance if there was a large dance floor and I could be far from others. I might just stay an hour. My endurance for being around a lot of people is very low right now.

@JLeslie: I’m really enjoying not having to attend functions and even meetings at work being virtual is enjoyable for me. It’s an introverts’ dream.

@jca2 For the most part I’m fine with it too. My BIL’s who live by you are event planners. They have completely lost all of their business. They mostly did large functions, but they do smaller functions also. Maybe smaller events will start to come back, but I’m guessing not through the winter because of the risk factor indoors.

I do miss in-person exercise classes. Plus, missing hanging out and meeting up with friends I miss a lot. I get to do that a little, all outside, but nothing like before. Before covid I was with friends constantly like being on a college campus. I also miss going out to restaurants, although I only went 1–2 times a week before.

Where I live people line dance almost every day outside. 20–50 people usually in the largest town square here. Then there are 10–20 people all over the community doing line dancing and zumba outside in the streets and driveways. I haven’t done it.

Also, small parties (maybe 20 people show up) with singers and people listening and dancing, distanced. The parties I think are very risky because often that is a drinking crowd and they don’t seem very concerned about distancing.

I wish we knew if any cases traced back to any of these things. From talking to people most cases go back to indoor activities and one set of cases traced back to a garage sale.

@JLeslie: Every December, my job has a huge holiday party at a local hotel/conference center, 500+ people attend, sometimes closer to 600. This year I heard the staff in the catering department at the hotel is furloughed. I’m happy to not have to deal with the party, which is fun but is also an obligation for me, as far as work is concerned, and also requires a lot of planning (holiday party committee, coming up with a theme, invites, collecting money, etc.).

I see friends maybe once or twice a week. We have eaten indoors at restaurants, maybe once a week.

I like going to the movies but have not been since February and now probably would not go any time soon.

On the news, they were just talking about a large number of cases being in certain areas of Brooklyn. I think some of those areas are Hasidic (Williamsburg being one). I think the Hasidim tend to do their own thing and have their large events, like funerals, and not care about the rules. Actually, me saying “I think” is inaccurate because it’s been on the news since the beginning, that they have huge gatherings without regard for the rules.

No. They can get married and celebrate later. It seems crazy to me. What a horrible result it would be if even one person got seriously ill or died from the event. Not worth the risk.

I think humanity needs to get better at differentiating between wants and needs. Right now, needs should have priority. That includes education, doctor visits, exercise, therapy. We can go back to all the fun stuff when we have a handle on this giant problem.

No. Her’s the info about the Maine wedding.
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/how-a-small-wedding-in-maine-became-a-deadly-covid-19-superspreader

Why not wait? Get married quietly, have a big blow-out party in a year or two.

@JLeslie COVID-19 makes no sense, having a group gathering of any size is like “Russian Roulette” many are going to get sick and somebody is going to die.

@canidmajor Thanks for the link. It looks like they didn’t take any precautions at all.

I think and outdoor canopy with no more than 50 people. I always believe the moment people go over 50 they are inviting a bunch of people they normally don’t socialize with. I never understood large weddings. I’ve been to them and I don’t care for them. The most fun ones I’ve ever been too were small. Best one was an outdoor barbeque with a large roasted pig. Wedding was in a small chapel and the festivities were held outside in the back of the church with chairs and tables and some music played by the grooms DJ friend. Right after the wedding everyone went home to change into something more comfortable. Even the Bride and groom. Everyone had a great time and the bride and groom were not overwhelmed. Quick and easy.

“What we have learned about COVID-19 is that it can be the uninvited guest at every single wedding, party or event,” he said.

I think this quote which is the last sentence in the article @canidmajor linked to is the quintessential statement about social gatherings.

@JLeslie, the thing is, the planners can take every precaution, but it only takes one asymptomatic guest to infect a group. For example, during dinner (only groups of live-togethers at tables, unmasked to eat) and Uncle Harry from Memphis rushes over to say a booming hello to Cousin George. George is unlikely to push Harry away forcefully while yelling “Back off, man!”
Boom, George and then his family are infected.

@canidmajor Yes, I understand that. Very easy for something like that to happen.

Your article looked like nothing was planned regarding distancing or masks though. Everyone was socializing and mingling.

Would you attend @JLeslie?

@JLeslie: Which is exactly why I phrased my post the way I did.

@chyna Indoors if it was a huge room with people spaced out, masks required, and not more than 25 people I might consider it if I can have my own table with my husband. I do lean towards not going though, but if it was mostly family and I was local and I knew everyone took covid seriously it might sway me. I bought a car and I was inside the dealership almost 3 hours, I think there was only about 15 people inside.

Outdoors I would go if it was a large outside event space and again everyone very spaced out. More than 6 ft when I say spaced out. With my friends if we don’t have masks we are more like 12–15 feet apart. I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable eating though, I’ve been a little paranoid about that.

I did go to the square where people line dance last week for the first time in months, and it was nice to be out and it was more “normal” but my husband and I stayed far away. I think there were about 35–40 people dancing. They are there 5 nights a week.

I don’t remember if I’m Facebook friends with you. I posted a short live video of the dancing in the square. Meeting up to celebrate someone’s wedding reception wouldn’t have to be much different than that. It doesn’t have to be a 3 course meal with all the rituals.

Edit: the video is on Sept 11. There are two videos actually.

Two people in my family cancelled their weddings. These types of scenarios, however well intentioned, are the complete opposite of sheltering in place, isolating, and quarantining. They are potential super spreaders. I honestly don’t understand why people can’t understand what it means to stay home, and stay away from gatherings that are unnecessary. 200,000 dead does not seem to phase people, and it makes me sick, and sad.

@Kardamom I’m pretty sure 99.9% of the country cancelled their weddings.

Now, people are trying to figure out what things they can do reasonably safely to feel more normal. I’m not saying having a wedding reception is necessary for the normal, I’m just saying even people who are mostly staying home are going out for some things and trying to find a low risk medium for life right now. I’m in that group.

Since March 12 I have been going out and interacting with people maybe once a week either seeing a friend (masked at a distance and outside in a driveway or patio not a restaurant for less than an hour) or going to the supermarket and I have been to a few doctors appointments. When I say “either“ I mean one or the other. I only go into a supermarket about once every 10–14 days.

In the last month I’m doing a little more. I went swimming twice, and went to the town square one night to walk around. Last I checked my city had 15 cases in 7 days, which was pretty low, hopefully it hasn’t gone up, as you said, a super spreader can change that fast.

People are working every day for hours in supermarkets, hardware stores, hospitals, and some of them are getting sick, but most aren’t. How is 8 hours in a supermarket safer than 2 hours at a party, outside, with distancing and masks? I realize we need supermarkets and don’t need parties, but it doesn’t change the risk they take. You can see why someone who works in a store might think having a small party with safety measure should be ok. They take the risk daily.

Covid will likely be around for years with how America has handled it. People are trying to figure out what’s safe.

No, I actually can’t see that.

Some people have to work, and it’s a terrible risk they have to make. Going to a wedding is not something that anyone “needs” to do.

Normality? That ship sailed in March.

15 cases in 7 days seems really high to me. It isn’t the flu, it’s Covid 19, which has no cure, no vaccine, and no effective treatments, unlike the flu, and this thing is airborne!

We need to shut down almost everything, and do a million times better with sheltering at home, isolating, quarantining, extreme social distancing, hand washing, and mask wearing, and educating people on how and why this thing spreads. Because apparently it isn’t clear to a lot of people, and until things change, you can expect another 200, 000 people dead.

I guess until you know someone who has died of Covid 19, it makes the perspective hard to fathom.

There is no more normality. Things are very different and people need to change their ideas about this, otherwise more people will die.

Until there is a vaccine, and/or effective treatment, staying the hell out of unnecessary public interactions, mask wearing, social distancing, and quarantining are our only hope.

@Kardamom Are you saying I don’t know people who have died?

A friend of mine’s aunt and uncle died. A close friend of my dad, his sister died. One of my very close friends, her friend died. I know people who have been hospitalized, but made it through.

My mom’s friend’s husband had covid and it has ruined his arteries. He’s home, but it will probably never get better and shorten his life.

My sister works in healthcare in NYC! Healthcare workers in NY are fairly traumatized from dealing with what happened there. It’s awful.

A very close friend of mine works in healthcare near Detroit. The view from her office window was of the extra refrigerated trailers they brought in for the dead bodies there were so many. Because of it she will be a Republican voting for Biden.

I have on and off high blood pressure, I took a drug a year ago that damaged my kidneys, I am predisposed to blood clots, I have two leaky heart valves, and a heart arrhythmia. Believe me I take covid seriously both how deadly and how contagious it is.

I’m just trying to be realistic with our situation. I’m not pushing for parties, the Q is to find out what jellies are thinking.

We had zero new cases here for a few weeks before Memorial Day weekend I think it was, the stay inside order definitely helped, but we never stopped playing golf (I wasn’t playing golf). Then after Memorial Day we eventually were having about 15 a day for part of the summer. 15 a week is a downward trend. I think stores finally asking everyone to wear masks possibly helped. I just checked and it’s 20 the last 7 days. I really wish it was zero believe me.

Consider this, my city is over 100,000 people and for months people have been outside dancing, meeting with friends, playing golf, swimming, playing pickle ball, and the cases have been fairly low. I personally think doubles pickle ball is a bad idea. If we could just narrow down where and how people are getting sick, probably most of what we are doing can continue and low chance of not spreading the virus. I have a lot of Trumpers around, a portion of them simply won’t stay inside.

The vaccine won’t change things enough. I think Covid will be with us for years.

For some reason, private events are legal here right now as long as no more than 150 people attend.

A local wedding reception just put 16 people in the hospital. The authorities are saying that they won’t be able to find and isolate all attendees because guest lists are incomplete.

Only one, a mother of young kids, is in critical condition. So it’s okay. ~

@longgone That’s awful. I thought your country was using tracing apps? 150 is quite large. 16 people! 16 who attended, or 16 connected to people who attended? Do you have a link to that story? I would like to put it on my facebook. Were they taking any precautions?

My city just announced they are bringing back live music in the town squares October 5th and people need to get a ticket to attend. 250 people limit, it is outside. I think that is too many.

Also, they are going to start back with indoor zumba classes and dances. I think 50% attendance, but I am not sure. I wish they would require masks for indoor zumba. I still would hesitate to go, but I just mean for whomever does go it would keep them safer and the whole community.

On the NYC news right now, there was a wedding last night in Queens (Queens is a borough of NYC) and the cops busted over 300 people indoors, at the wedding. People without masks, dancing and drinking. The owner and manager got desk appearance tickets. They mentioned Hasidic neighborhoods being hotspots in the city.

They said in Chinatown there were 78 people inside a Karaoke bar who got tickets too.

I was just talking to a friend last night who’s in her late 60’s and is looking to travel. She just went to visit a friend in Colorado (she lives in New England) and she now wants to travel elsewhere. She said without traveling, life is just working and very mundane, and it’s like you’re just waiting to die. I think for some people, like my friend, they want to do things, safely, and walk a fine line between being safe and living their lives. She’s an RN so she is very aware of the health hazard, and also knows how to keep safe. She knows it’s a gamble. She has been to the movie theater, since it opened. I don’t know if I would do that.

@jca2 Just as a side note, being in the health care field doesn’t make you aware. I have a cousin who is a nurse and posts on Facebook how ridiculous masks are. Also, a nurse at the hospital I work at was fired for refusing to wear a mask because she didn’t believe in them. It boggles my mind.

@jca2 I feel like a lot of us who believe it’s important to be careful are also trying to weigh what risks we will take to feel closer to normal again.

The problem is the people who do nothing to be careful. 300 person wedding with everyone mingling is much different than 25 distanced well. Also, I would feel safer going out if everyone wore masks. Still when I go shopping there will be people without masks, but it has been better the last few weeks since some chain stores require masks now. People still come in without them though.

I’m going to Disney Springs today to walk around for some “normal” unless it is more crowded than usual then I’ll bail. It would be better (fewer people) on a weekday, so not sure how it will be. Daytime is usually not very busy and this is the slow time of year here.

My governor just went to phase three sbd restaurants can be 100% occupancy again. Probably not a good idea.

@chyna: Of course what you’re saying is true, but my friend is big on masks, hand sanitizer, hand washing, etc. I think she feels like what @JLeslie described: trying to be careful while weighing what risk she is willing to take while she is still young enough to do things. She talks about people she knows who are carrying around oxygen tanks, wear diapers, have MS, all kinds of stuff, plus her husband has a bunch of health problems and she’s relatively healthy and active.

I have family in the city (NYC) who are almost trapped in their apartment, although it is a big luxurious apartment, they don’t go anywhere and they’re very scared. To me, there has to be more to life than that.

@jca2 I agree with you. As it goes on, it is a balancing act for each of us between what feels safe enough to do and what feels life crushing. None of us want to willfully expose others or be exposed by carelessness but there are things we are learning about how to try to keep safe. I would not go to any large indoor gathering this winter but I did go to the movies this week after hearing from friends that they were the only two people in the theater. I think I was the only person in the whole multiplex on that weekday afternoon and was definitely the only way in the theater and I will not go on a weekend. It felt safe but it was eery.

@janbb did you get popcorn?

@chyna No. I wouldn’t buy food there.

Reporting back.

I went to Disney Springs. Found a parking space right away on the first level of the Lime garage. No waiting, walked right up and had my temperature taken before walking into the shopping area. Everyone had on a mask walking around. People are only allowed to remove their mask while sitting and eating. They controlled how many in a store, the only store with a wait was the super large Disney store there. Easy to walk around, no tight crowding, but it was busy. We got there later than I wanted to, if I had arrived earlier there would have been much fewer people.

I’ll let you know if I get sick.

I went to Trader Joe’s also in Orlando, that’s why I really went to Orlando in the first place. Line was about 40 people long to get in! Funny to wait there and not at Disney.

@JLeslie: Here, in the summer, stores kept track of how many were in the store and how many came out, and you had to wait in order to be let in. Now that seems to have stopped in most places except Trader Joe’s, where there is consistently a line. I haven’t been there since March, because I really have to want to go to a store badly if I’m going to wait on line.

For me, I have been going to Costco about once a week since March (the beginning of the shutdown here in NY/CT), and sometimes Walmart (because then, Walmart was one of the only stores open), and then started working two days a week (half days) in June. I figured if I can go to a busy store and I can go to an office building, I can see friends. I’ve eaten indoors and out a bunch of times, at restaurants and at friends’ houses. I kind of feel bad for my cousin in the city, because she is like a prisoner. I did ask her if she wanted to meet once, because it was her brother’s (my other cousin’s) birthday. I offered to meet in a park but it was like I horrified them with the thought. I know she would have been willing otherwise, because my cousin (her brother) is very shy and so he needs socialization, but she indicated that the thought of getting on the train and coming to meet in a park was off limits.

@jca2 My sister lives in Manhattan and had been basically locked in her apartment since late February/early March except for doing laundry every 10–14 days in the basement. I’m not exactly sure when she locked herself in, but I know when I talked to her in the first week of March she already had been staying inside and had lots of pantry food and supplies that she had ordered by delivery, she wasn’t going out at all.

Right before the protests broke out she had gone to a store for the first time since early March. I don’t think she went out again until her birthday in September, she had dinner with her neighbor at her neighbor’s apartment. So out that time was 10 steps to her neighbor’s door.

@JLeslie: It sounds like prison and I wonder if your sister is going to develop some panic disorder relating to going out, when she actually starts going out.

My sister has a home in Manhattan but she has been staying with her bf, first in Delray Beach FL and now on an island off the coast of New England. I’m happy she’s out of NYC. My cousin who lives there also has homes in England, and the husband is a citizen of the UK. If I were her, I would consider going to stay in the UK for now. One of the homes is on the ocean, and secluded, but at least they could get out for walks.

@jca2 I want her to come stay here if she wants to, but I’m not sure if she would risk traveling. Plus, Florida sounds so terrible on the news she probably wouldn’t want to. I’ll ask her again. Might be better once my husband leaves. Dealing with other people is stressful too if you feel the other person in the house isn’t being as careful as you are.

Maybe she is getting more adventurous now. A lot of people start slow and get more comfortable.

She does work, so she interacts with people, just not in person. She is interacting with healthcare though, which was very stressful for months when covid was bad. Nurses and social workers crying, stories from the hospitals, it was bad.

@JLeslie: Someone was telling me about an older friend who was in the apartment in Brooklyn for months and developed a real fear of going out. She had to start slowly, going to a supermarket and sitting in the parking lot. Then the next time, going inside the store and making some purchases. I’m glad that living where I live, it wasn’t like that and even for people who didn’t want to go out, they could still take walks or sit in the yard, or take the car out and go for a hike somewhere or to a park. There was also a contactless food distribution for people (like a drive up food pantry) which was no questions asked, no income was asked, just for anyone who wanted or needed food.