Should a couple get married before or during residency?

Residency to become a doctor?

A couple I was very close to got married right after graduating from Medical School. They had taken a “honeymoon” trip right before she started Med School, so other than a long weekend away, she started residency.

But they had been together for many years and talked it through. He was working on his Phd while she was in residency.

Residency is a strain on relationships, doesn’t matter if married or delaying the marriage.

Oh no. I hear different people say different things and the main one is the time they don’t have for each other.

Neither. So many things will change.

Why would you say that ? Like what?

@honeybun35: Work location, work hours, stress from a new job, stress from moving to a new location, maturing as a person.

Would that effect a couple’s sex life ? Also would they find themselves lonely a lot?

If one is working many long hours and many unexpected hours, then their sex life would definitely be affected. If someone is at work, they’re not at home to have sex. If someone is tired, they’re not going to enjoy sex as much as if they’re feeling well. If someone is stressed out, they’re going to be distracted and may not enjoy sex. If someone matures and changes, maybe a partner that they liked when they were younger will not be a partner they will want to stay with, as their needs change and they change as a person.

I think (just my opinion of course), people should not get married when they’re too young.

People that I knew from long ago that got married young are getting divorced now, after 20–30 years of marriage.

How about early 30’s ?

@honeybun35: If you have specific concerns, don’t go by my opinion alone.

My daughter was dating a medical doctor before he started his residency. He asked her to marry him before her older brother’s wedding, so he could be properly introduced as her fiancé at the wedding. They then lived together during the start of his residency, and got married one year into the residency. My daughter was fortunately able to relocate to Baltimore for his fellowship. When they moved back, they finally were able to settle down. Now they have three children and seem happy, although my daughter’s favorite saying is: “Life is short, but marriage is long!”

That is a great outcome. I see many saying it’s not good idea they should wait and they’re not happy.

@honeybun35 My daughter got married in 2005 when she was 29. So her cohabitation in sin occurred when she was 28. I would think early 30s is fine.

Ok that sound great. They had a perfect plan then.