I feel low?
Whenever I see a guy younger than me who has more talent and also famous, I began to feel low. What do I do to avoid this?I’m a student.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
8 Answers
Self-esteem is a tricky thing. It sounds like you are trying to compete with everyone in the world and if you aren’t “winning”, then you somehow failed. Here’s a clue: we are all different. We have different dreams, different opportunities, different goals, different things that inspire or drive us. We think and act differently, even given similar circumstances. But we all bring something to the party.
My advice (which can go into the circular file if you like) is to set your standards and live them. Set what sort of person you want to be, both internally and externally. Set your goals and work towards them. Think about where you want to be…what you would choose to look at as success. Then think backward to where you are now. There is a path from A to B. Set milestones along that path with plans to reach them. In the end, each time you achieve a goal, you will have a sense of accomplishment…of worth. You will end up doing things others around you will not.
Above all, recognize you are a worthy person, just as you are. Don’t try to live up to someone else’s ideals…stick to your own. And enjoy the ride!
This is what I tell my daughter. No matter who you are, there’s always going to be someone who has a bigger house, a nicer car, nicer clothes, (fill in whatever else___________). You can’t worry about them. You have what you have.
It does not mean that he is happy, just because he has material things.
Rather than compare yourself to others, compare yourself from the years before and realize that you have improved and grown( hopefully matured better).
In time you will find your place in this world, but in the meantime have patience and go after what makes you feel whole and balanced.
Example:
A boy in high school quit school to work full time and purchased a fancy car and thus showed it off to his envious classmates.
However fast forward a few years as his classmates Graduated from High Scholl and some continued on to Colleges and or Universities and became Professionals or Business owners making much more and secure than that boy who quit in the first place.
That boy soon couldn’t keep his job and was replaced with another who had more education.
He lost his car as a result, but soon realized that he needed more education in order to compete in life. He went back to school and completed his High School requirements and went on to a better life.
Realize that basing your own happiness on being “the most successful person of my gender” as defined by notions of talent, fame, or other intangible and largely uncontrollable ideas, more or less dooms you to be unhappy whenever you get into that mindset.
Deeply understanding how truly bullshit that kind of mindset is, can give a person lots of freedom from it. But many people also have other more complicated self-shaming patterns built into their thought patterns, which are well worth taking the time to examine. Getting a handle on one’s shit like that can really transform your whole experience of life.
A good place to start is this book and/or videos by the author: https://www.johnbradshaw.com/books/healing-the-shame-that-binds-you
You are shooting yourself in the face. There are people in this world who probably have it worse than you who would trade places with you in a heartbeat. No one is you. Each of us are unique in their own way. Why would you want to be like someone else. I’m no one special but I’m special to the people who love me and the people I love, feel special to me even when they piss me off. You don’t know what other people carry on their shoulders. I’ve met people who I thought were awesome and gifted, and lucky and when I got to know them they felt it wasn’t enough.
Fame and talent won’t keep you from feeling lonely nor will it make you feel special. If it did then famous people will never commit suicide. I was always taught to beware of what I wish for. I may get it and it may turn out to be what I didn’t need or really want.
I don’t think you feel low because other have what you wish you could have. Its because you think those things will make you happy.
Almost 60 years of living and I can tell you, that getting what you want only gives you temporary happiness. True happiness come from being grateful for what you have and being at peace with what you haven’t obtained or may never get.
Now you can’t wish depression away, but you can start by trying to look at life as it is and trying to enjoy it then look for reason not to enjoy what you have.
Best of luck, and study hard. And enjoy studying while you can. There will be a day when you will miss that. I try to read and learn something new every day. Just because I only have one life.
You’re not alone. Lots and lots of people feel the same way, and for the same and similar reasons.
We’re inundated with videos and images of seemingly confident, happy, charismatic, talented and wealthy people. It’s difficult to not compare yourself and your own life to how “successful” people have it.
Social and economic inequality is a major psychological stressor. It causes people to feel anxious, inadequate, and resentful. Our species did not evolve under the sort of vast inequalities in wealth and status that we observe today, and its consequences are unequivocally negative on our well-being.
Realise that all of this is pathological. It’s not your fault, and you can’t change it on our own.
Work on what you can control. Develop yourself and pursue whatever interests you, and forget about famous people.
Response moderated (Spam)
Answer this question
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.