What are some new jokes?

Vaginal discharge is the firing of a zip gun from a hidden location.

I don’t think there are any new jokes, but your switch on the homework line is pretty good.

Did you hear the one that Trump thinks he won the election?

Did you hear the one that Trump thinks he was a fabulous President?

Nothing new, still old. NSFW.

Superman was flying over the city when he spotted Wonder Woman sunbathing fully naked on top of a rooftop. He thought he could just swoop in, give her supersonic speed lovemaking and fly away without her knowing. So he did and flew away with a grin.

Wonder Woman : What was that?
Invisible Man : I don’t know but my ass is really hurting.

I just came across this

Intelligence is knowing how to do something. Wisdom is knowing not to do it. Charisma is getting someone else to do it for you.

How to prevent suicide attempts.
Charismatic people talk them down.
Wise people make more social programs.
Intelligent people block access to the roof with a lock and key.

The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm”. I whispered back, “At least I didn’t lose my Golden Fiddle to some hillbilly in Georgia!”

A wise man once told his wife, nothing. Because he was a wise man.

The furniture salesman told me the sofa will seat five people with no problems. Then it occurred to me, I don’t believe I know five people with no problems.